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Nervous to book a session


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Hi, I'm sure this has probably been brought up before, but I can't find it. I was wondering how many of you have been super nervous regarding booking a session. I want to book a session but I'm definitely nervous about it. What advice does anyone have regarding this? Or what did anyone who felt the same do to get over it and have a session? 

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I simply got tired of keeping it all in my head and decided to go forward one day a long time ago. I'm sure we all have experienced jitters, if only mildly, at the beginning. Another fact is that throughout my years in the scene I am always nervous when I meet a new Mistress. It's almost to be expected.

Even now, as I anticipate a reunion with a Mistress here, I feel as if I am in a fog.

So, just accept how you feel as natural for you and go ahead and take the next step when you are comfortable.

Dannyboy

 

 

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Oh man I was super nervous... it probably took me about a year (no joke) to work up the courage to send that first email, and only after a few beers one night. 

Nervous while booking, nervous on the way to the fortress, nervous while waiting for the dommes to enter the room.

The craziest part though was once the session got started- when I probably should’ve been the most nervous- was when I finally settled down. All credit for that goes to the mistresses. I quickly realized they knew exactly what they were doing and I just let myself go with it. After all, that’s why we do this right? ... to give up control to someone else.

Still think about my experience at the fortress all the time.  Just go for it man, you won’t regret it!

 

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I cantnot say this about every mistress but you do not have to be nervous in a bad way at the Fortress. Share your concerns with Emma who handles booking, be guided by her in the choice of mistress and then be open and honest with the mistress you serve. The more you tell them the better. A little healthy fear is okay and adds to the fun; once they get to know you though all bets are off!

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I like the way flip describes it as “healthy fear,” because after all, fear is the root of excitement! Adrenaline and exhilaration are almost essential components of BDSM, so don’t try to cast it out! Moving forward with booking despite the nerves is the best way to go :) Excited to hear about when you take the leap! 

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Thank you for the responses Mistress Zito, Mistress Von Dietz and Mistress Jin. Unfortunately it doesn't look like I'll have time this month, but I suppose I'll treat myself to a session for my birthday month in September. I'm more and more excited to book a session when I think about it. I know I'll be nervous when I call, but I look forward to it!

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On 7/29/2018 at 7:34 PM, Mistress Von Dietz said:

I am always surprised when during post session conversation, my sub says;

”I have been wanting to see you for years!” 

...Just imagine all of the fun we could have been having with you. x 

 

This is me. I have wanted to see you for a year. I have now registered and submitted a booking request. Am I nervous, yes. Will it happen, YES

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On 7/31/2018 at 1:30 PM, Wineforall said:

This is me. I have wanted to see you for a year. I have now registered and submitted a booking request. Am I nervous, yes. Will it happen, YES

What good news! I’m think you will inspire more reluctant new subs to come and enjoy the fortress the same way that you surely will :) 

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You just have to decide you’re going to take the plunge and do it. I still get nerves after multiple sessions in multiple places.Hell I used to get nerves before doing an extreme session with someone I was dating.

 

That little voice in your head that says things like “This could be a total disaster”, “Fantasy might be better than reality”, “This could be a scam” “What if she doesn’t know what shes’s doing and I get really hurt” or any of the hundred other things I’ve heard or bought over the years...  Tell it to shut up. It’s just holding you back. 

 

Life is for living and I’m confident you’ll have fun at the Fortress. 

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On 8/4/2018 at 2:31 PM, yourdog84 said:

I booked my first session in at least 5 or 6 yrs. Have always had a good time before when I frequented the fortress(only bdsm place I've ever gone too), but my nerves sure are getting to me as it approaches lol

I agree with flip and Mistress Zito - The goal is not to quench the fear, but to turn it into anticipation. It's actually a very psychologically sound technique - instead of thinking "calm down", turn the fear into arousal and excitement.

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On 7/31/2018 at 1:30 PM, Wineforall said:

This is me. I have wanted to see you for a year. I have now registered and submitted a booking request. Am I nervous, yes. Will it happen, YES

I will be anticipating the look on your face when I see it for the first time. ;) 

What are some of your interests?! 

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I remember my first session, which was at the Fortress. I was a bit nervous to book, but as soon as I sent the first email the process was so easy. But I remember being really scared when it came time for the session.  It’s a scary thing. You’re putting yourself in someone’s hands, completely. You don’t know them and if they are good or bad. You don’t know what other intentions they have. And you’re putting yourself in a position of real vulnerability in terms of your life, not just an hour or two of your time. It takes a lot of trust. 

 

I remeber i was driving in from a Delaware where I had been staying for work, and I left a note on the bed saying something along the lines of “if something happened to me and you find this note, I went to the Fortress and something happened to me.”  For real, I did, and when I got back the note was gone.  And no one ever came looking for me or asking about it. I’m sure the cleaning crew had a good laugh at my expense. 

Spoiler alert - nothing bad happened, in fact the opposite. I had one of the most amazing experiences of my life, which opened the door to many more amazing experiences with amazing, skilled, wonderful professionals who are very good at what they do. 

But the real gift of the Fortress are these forums. The fact that we can talk to each other and share stories and experiences, and encourage the person sitting at home worried that he should take that chance, that’s what makes the Fortress so special. The fact that you can interact with the mistresses on here, see their pictures, with as they write just enough to entice and tease you but never enough for you to get off too, and enjoy that trade with them, that’s what makes the Fortress so special. 

 

I’ve got to get myself back to New York...

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I wonder if your 

On 8/9/2018 at 10:42 PM, Kilgore Trout said:

I remember my first session, which was at the Fortress. I was a bit nervous to book, but as soon as I sent the first email the process was so easy. But I remember being really scared when it came time for the session.  It’s a scary thing. You’re putting yourself in someone’s hands, completely. You don’t know them and if they are good or bad. You don’t know what other intentions they have. And you’re putting yourself in a position of real vulnerability in terms of your life, not just an hour or two of your time. It takes a lot of trust. 

 

I remeber i was driving in from a Delaware where I had been staying for work, and I left a note on the bed saying something along the lines of “if something happened to me and you find this note, I went to the Fortress and something happened to me.”  For real, I did, and when I got back the note was gone.  And no one ever came looking for me or asking about it. I’m sure the cleaning crew had a good laugh at my expense. 

Spoiler alert - nothing bad happened, in fact the opposite. I had one of the most amazing experiences of my life, which opened the door to many more amazing experiences with amazing, skilled, wonderful professionals who are very good at what they do. 

But the real gift of the Fortress are these forums. The fact that we can talk to each other and share stories and experiences, and encourage the person sitting at home worried that he should take that chance, that’s what makes the Fortress so special. The fact that you can interact with the mistresses on here, see their pictures, with as they write just enough to entice and tease you but never enough for you to get off too, and enjoy that trade with them, that’s what makes the Fortress so special. 

 

I’ve got to get myself back to New York...

I wonder if who ever found that note made their way to the Fortress too. 

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I was too nervous to make an appt for a long time.  Then one day I was in the area and I just called up and had a session within hours.  I was terribly nervous waiting in the room for my Domme to arrive, and when she did, well, still nervous but in a whole new way!  After that I can't stop thinking about the session and what I'd like to try next.  We'll find out in a couple of days!  (Still nervous)

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Nervousness is good and may make you better prepared for the session but delaying too long also leaves lesser time to try and expand to new stuff, especially if you lead a busy life or have logistical problems planning a visit. Set a date in your head and do it by then, you will love your decision.

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