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Carl Jung's Shadow Aspect


Mistress Fei

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Are any of you familiar with Carl Jung's theory of the shadow?

 

To summarize, the shadow is the collection of negative attributes of a person, hiding in the unconscious. Everyone has one. It's everything we don't want to face about ourselves.

 

The phenomenon when we dislike someone else, later, through retrospection, realizing that the reason we don't like them is because they remind us so much of the things we hate about ourselves can be attributed to the shadow

 

He says that the more someone recognizes what is carried in the shadow, the more the person is willing to consciously incorporate those elements, the less dense the shadow will be

 

Speaking in terms of energies, it would go without saying that the denser the shadow, the more negative a frequency a person will carry and the more negative things will be drawn to that person.

 

My question is, since as a societal standard BDSM is considered "dark" and within the realm of the collective shadow, how many of you consider it to be a part of your own shadows and how many of you do not?

 

What has embracing the shadow element done for you in your life, do you feel more cohesive as a person, more sane?

 

What else would you say is in your shadow aspect, if you're willing to share?

 

Thanks for your candid replies, as always

 

x mFei

 

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My question is, since as a societal standard BDSM is considered "dark" and within the realm of the collective shadow, how many of you consider it to be a part of your own shadows and how many of you do not?

 

What has embracing the shadow element done for you in your life, do you feel more cohesive as a person, more sane?

 

What else would you say is in your shadow aspect, if you're willing to share?

 

 

There was a time when I was more familiar with the shadow--back during psych seminars--but much of the specifics have been lost. i'm grateful for the reminder though :) It's an apropos topic for me, as lately I've struggled with acknowledging/admitting that shadow in order to nullify the negative energy that comes with it. A (very small) example involves a bit of sibling rivalry with my sister, but I digress...

 

Even though I'm relatively in the closet when it comes to my BDSM leanings, I don't view it as part of my shadow. If anything it is very much something I want to (and do) face on a regular basis and, as silly as it sounds, it makes me feel really really really good to do so. More at peace, more confident, more... "me". I do regret not being able to share as much with people I care about, but that's a dilemma for another day.

 

As far as embracing other "shadow" aspects... it's difficult for me to be honest with myself about this, but as much as I loath the social media actions of others that suggest they are needy, or want attention/acceptance, I can't help but feel I want those same things too and that some (maybe most, maybe all) of my aggression towards these people is something akin to envy. I'm happy with the weird intersection of ideas and thoughts that is 'me', but it's definitely not popular opinion. 

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The whole Fortress runs on the idea of the Shadow.  Every man there is accessing

his "dark" side because he doesn't have guts enough to do it in his real life.

Or he is doing it his real life, too, but it's not enough to combat or accord with

what the world' become. Anyway, yeah, the Shadow's great.  And it can be

torturous too.  One needs to befriend it, tell me about it...But it's hard.  Bad

analogy but it's God loving the Devil.  Forgiving him, it, yourself, blah blah.

Anyway, this isn't the Shadow a la Jung but my own neurotic pretzel twist

of it.  :ph34r:

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I believe I've met my shadow a few times in dreams. One time i can recall that the world was going to shit, zombies and such attacking, and i was with a guy i think was called james who looked a lot like an albino version of me. We somehow got into a fist fight, me on top, and i broke his neck, only he didn't die and did the rotating neck thing from the exorcist and yelled "She'll never love you." Another time i think was sometime after my twin nieces were born, and i dreamed that i woke up to get a glass of water, and on the way down i noticed a hooded shadowy figure standing over their crib, so i tried waking my parents, but they didn't, so when i ran to the nursery he just vanishes into smoke.

 

Needless to say my shadow and I don't exactly get along.  

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Are any of you familiar with Carl Jung's theory of the shadow?

 

To summarize, the shadow is the collection of negative attributes of a person, hiding in the unconscious. Everyone has one. It's everything we don't want to face about ourselves.

 

The phenomenon when we dislike someone else, later, through retrospection, realizing that the reason we don't like them is because they remind us so much of the things we hate about ourselves can be attributed to the shadow

 

He says that the more someone recognizes what is carried in the shadow, the more the person is willing to consciously incorporate those elements, the less dense the shadow will be

 

Speaking in terms of energies, it would go without saying that the denser the shadow, the more negative a frequency a person will carry and the more negative things will be drawn to that person.

 

My question is, since as a societal standard BDSM is considered "dark" and within the realm of the collective shadow, how many of you consider it to be a part of your own shadows and how many of you do not?

 

What has embracing the shadow element done for you in your life, do you feel more cohesive as a person, more sane?

 

What else would you say is in your shadow aspect, if you're willing to share?

 

Thanks for your candid replies, as always

 

x mFei

 

This is one of my favorite questions of yours so far, Mistress Fei! This will be a long response, but as usual you asked for it!! :D

 

Side note: I am sad that I never really studied Jung (I thought I'd study psychology in college, but I found the classes so hopelessly boring, and so frustratingly behaviorism-based), but now I can get little lessons like this from you, so it all worked out :)

 

Although I didn't know Jung's theory, I'd say I have made it a pretty high priority to incorporate the shadow into my conscious life and identity. And yes, I'd say it's made me more cohesive and sane, even as it's allowed me to delve deeper into the manifoldness of my self(ves).

 

I noticed years ago that I'm skilled at rationalizing prejudicial preferences. So I'd react with jealousy and resentment when meeting someone who was respected by someone whose respect I wanted. Very competitive of me, but I'd usually come up with a convincing rationalization. I started to notice this, and I made a serious effort to approach new people, things, music, etc., with an open mind and heart. Now I prefer to at least try to consider what might make a person—or anything—worthy of respect, kindness, or at least some sort of interest. 

 

So when I catch myself reacting quickly and negatively, I try to own that reaction and look into it. The flavor and intensity of the reaction is often a helpful guide. Sometimes people and I just don't click; some music just isn't for me; and so on. But when the reaction is swift and intense and accompanied by an insistent rationalization, I find there's often more to the story, and I try to hone in on that and own it. I've found this a very rewarding process. It makes me much more playful with my tastes.

 

As for BDSM: I'm trying to learn a balance between two poles that often co-exist in us: the expectation that everyone else is like us, and that no one else is like us. BDSM has been helping me with this, and I think this is part-and-parcel of my process of incorporating the shadow. Before I taught myself to accept my BDSM desires as an integral aspect of my life and personality, I thought I was broken and alone. I thought I'd "get over" my kinky desires when I "integrated" my sexuality—I didn't yet see that integration might entail welcoming and owning the desires. By the time I booked my first session at the Fortress, I had begun to feel safe and secure in these desires, and then Mistress Koi taught me that I "definitely have a sub side" and am "a bit of a masochist." Now, rather than broken and alone, I sort of feel like everyone must be like me. How is it possible that anyone could but adore being tied down and choked by Mistress Koi?? And what could possibly make anyone think there's anything dark or weird or wrong about that? Yet I also feel like I (and we on the forum) uniquely know something others haven't learned. A tricky balance indeed!

 

So I'd say that I used to consider it part of my shadow: it felt secret. But now it feels like just part of my personality—now it feels private. Once I felt I'd have to confess in order to liberate myself from the secret; now I feel I can share it—or not—to whatever extent I wish. Now I can play.

 

Small example from my work... I hope it makes some sense: 

 

In Sanskrit poetic theory, there are said to be nine overarching emotional states that a work of literature can evoke in the audience. The erotic, the fearful, the peaceful, the humorous, and so on. The other day we were reading a commentator who was trying to decide whether a particular poem evokes the fearful or the erotic. In short, he said that the verse focuses on fear (ominous clouds in the skies, dense, dark woods) but subtly leads us to the erotic (two attractive young people running through the secluded woods, the girl leading the slightly-more-afraid-boy...). Some people were reluctant to accept that the fearful and the erotic have anything to do with each other. At one point, we were puzzling over a bit of text, and someone's misreading of a line led someone else to jokingly mention dominatrixes. I immediately said: "That's how you get the fearful in the erotic!" Everyone had a big laugh and had to agree. Little did they know that I know from whence I speak :) 

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The whole Fortress runs on the idea of the Shadow.  Every man there is accessing

his "dark" side because he doesn't have guts enough to do it in his real life.

 

I respectfully disagree, purgatorio! I so like the Fortress because it's safe and private, and the ladies know what they're doing—and are killer. The moment I met Mistress Koi the first thing I felt was trust, and that's been the most lasting impression from that first session. As comfortable and happy as I feel about my kinks, I'm also still discovering my desires and limits, and in any case it's none of anyone's business unless I choose to share it with them, so to me it's a great gift to be able to explore and play safely and privately, yet without having to feel isolated. Hence, the Fortress :D

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My "shadow" self has very little to do with BDSM.

It has more to do with my ego's demands to be recognized and validated as someone who is attractive and intelligent. This poses problems in the split identities arena, as the dualities become twice the work to manage in this "shadow play".

 

Over the course of the years that I have been "becoming" I strive to unite these dualities in both the aspect of idenitity, as well as the anima/animus, and finally the public/shadow self. Relationships play a major part in this integration, both with clients and personally. I feel parts of my shadow self being summoned into play at the Fortress, and utilizing these darknesses allows me to recognize, accept, and play with them.

 

Of course, there are parts of my shadow self that I have not had the courage to display in session, ones that I feel would compromise my dominance over others. These are ones that I work on in private, but relentlessly. I think that the more I become aware of these shadows, the "thinner" it becomes, and the more whole I feel. It's still a work in progress though!

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I don't see what I do at the FF as part of my shadow. When I'm in session I feel my motives are clear, respectful, friendly. The shadow part of my personality is my desire of vengeance,violence that lurks inside . The bully like behavior I find reprehensible now, at one time I've demonstrated. I can live and learn. Everyone , I think,has the capacity for kindness, also has the same capacity for meanness. You have to choose.

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My "shadow" self has very little to do with BDSM.

It has more to do with my ego's demands to be recognized and validated as someone who is attractive and intelligent. This poses problems in the split identities arena, as the dualities become twice the work to manage in this "shadow play".

 

Over the course of the years that I have been "becoming" I strive to unite these dualities in both the aspect of idenitity, as well as the anima/animus, and finally the public/shadow self. Relationships play a major part in this integration, both with clients and personally. I feel parts of my shadow self being summoned into play at the Fortress, and utilizing these darknesses allows me to recognize, accept, and play with them.

 

Of course, there are parts of my shadow self that I have not had the courage to display in session, ones that I feel would compromise my dominance over others. These are ones that I work on in private, but relentlessly. I think that the more I become aware of these shadows, the "thinner" it becomes, and the more whole I feel. It's still a work in progress though!

 

Hmm, there is much here that I don't understand but I wish to--how exactly does your ego wish for validation (a wish whose prerequisites are so self-evident that I think no validation is necessary...)  pose problems in the split arena? What "becoming" are you going through? And, finally, how could anything compromise your dominance over others?

 

Granted, I've had far less interaction with you than some, but I still feel inclined to say this: even at your most vulnerable--or whatever other emblematic state one would invoke to indicate a reversal of dominance--I can't imagine you as anything but dominant.  Not to say that you can't be the full range of who you would be, but rather that (some types of) submission can be such that they hold up another regardless of the expected trappings of dominance. For me, personally, that's always been a core idea in submission--the supportive, loving submissive who wants to see the person they submit to get to express all their myriad sides without worry about their authority dissipating in any way.

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There was a time when I was more familiar with the shadow--back during psych seminars--but much of the specifics have been lost. i'm grateful for the reminder though :) It's an apropos topic for me, as lately I've struggled with acknowledging/admitting that shadow in order to nullify the negative energy that comes with it. A (very small) example involves a bit of sibling rivalry with my sister, but I digress...

 

Even though I'm relatively in the closet when it comes to my BDSM leanings, I don't view it as part of my shadow. If anything it is very much something I want to (and do) face on a regular basis and, as silly as it sounds, it makes me feel really really really good to do so. More at peace, more confident, more... "me". I do regret not being able to share as much with people I care about, but that's a dilemma for another day.

 

As far as embracing other "shadow" aspects... it's difficult for me to be honest with myself about this, but as much as I loath the social media actions of others that suggest they are needy, or want attention/acceptance, I can't help but feel I want those same things too and that some (maybe most, maybe all) of my aggression towards these people is something akin to envy. I'm happy with the weird intersection of ideas and thoughts that is 'me', but it's definitely not popular opinion. 

 

yeah that makes sense, being envious of those that are less self-conscious about those needs which i think we all have. 

 

SOCIAL MEDIA is a whole discussion in itself! LET'S TALK!

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The whole Fortress runs on the idea of the Shadow.  Every man there is accessing

his "dark" side because he doesn't have guts enough to do it in his real life.

Or he is doing it his real life, too, but it's not enough to combat or accord with

what the world' become. Anyway, yeah, the Shadow's great.  And it can be

torturous too.  One needs to befriend it, tell me about it...But it's hard.  Bad

analogy but it's God loving the Devil.  Forgiving him, it, yourself, blah blah.

Anyway, this isn't the Shadow a la Jung but my own neurotic pretzel twist

of it.  :ph34r:

HA love it- neurotic pretzel twist! 

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This is one of my favorite questions of yours so far, Mistress Fei! This will be a long response, but as usual you asked for it!! :D

 

Side note: I am sad that I never really studied Jung (I thought I'd study psychology in college, but I found the classes so hopelessly boring, and so frustratingly behaviorism-based), but now I can get little lessons like this from you, so it all worked out :)

 

Although I didn't know Jung's theory, I'd say I have made it a pretty high priority to incorporate the shadow into my conscious life and identity. And yes, I'd say it's made me more cohesive and sane, even as it's allowed me to delve deeper into the manifoldness of my self(ves).

 

I noticed years ago that I'm skilled at rationalizing prejudicial preferences. So I'd react with jealousy and resentment when meeting someone who was respected by someone whose respect I wanted. Very competitive of me, but I'd usually come up with a convincing rationalization. I started to notice this, and I made a serious effort to approach new people, things, music, etc., with an open mind and heart. Now I prefer to at least try to consider what might make a person—or anything—worthy of respect, kindness, or at least some sort of interest. 

 

So when I catch myself reacting quickly and negatively, I try to own that reaction and look into it. The flavor and intensity of the reaction is often a helpful guide. Sometimes people and I just don't click; some music just isn't for me; and so on. But when the reaction is swift and intense and accompanied by an insistent rationalization, I find there's often more to the story, and I try to hone in on that and own it. I've found this a very rewarding process. It makes me much more playful with my tastes.

 

As for BDSM: I'm trying to learn a balance between two poles that often co-exist in us: the expectation that everyone else is like us, and that no one else is like us. BDSM has been helping me with this, and I think this is part-and-parcel of my process of incorporating the shadow. Before I taught myself to accept my BDSM desires as an integral aspect of my life and personality, I thought I was broken and alone. I thought I'd "get over" my kinky desires when I "integrated" my sexuality—I didn't yet see that integration might entail welcoming and owning the desires. By the time I booked my first session at the Fortress, I had begun to feel safe and secure in these desires, and then Mistress Koi taught me that I "definitely have a sub side" and am "a bit of a masochist." Now, rather than broken and alone, I sort of feel like everyone must be like me. How is it possible that anyone could but adore being tied down and choked by Mistress Koi?? And what could possibly make anyone think there's anything dark or weird or wrong about that? Yet I also feel like I (and we on the forum) uniquely know something others haven't learned. A tricky balance indeed!

 

So I'd say that I used to consider it part of my shadow: it felt secret. But now it feels like just part of my personality—now it feels private. Once I felt I'd have to confess in order to liberate myself from the secret; now I feel I can share it—or not—to whatever extent I wish. Now I can play.

 

Small example from my work... I hope it makes some sense: 

 

In Sanskrit poetic theory, there are said to be nine overarching emotional states that a work of literature can evoke in the audience. The erotic, the fearful, the peaceful, the humorous, and so on. The other day we were reading a commentator who was trying to decide whether a particular poem evokes the fearful or the erotic. In short, he said that the verse focuses on fear (ominous clouds in the skies, dense, dark woods) but subtly leads us to the erotic (two attractive young people running through the secluded woods, the girl leading the slightly-more-afraid-boy...). Some people were reluctant to accept that the fearful and the erotic have anything to do with each other. At one point, we were puzzling over a bit of text, and someone's misreading of a line led someone else to jokingly mention dominatrixes. I immediately said: "That's how you get the fearful in the erotic!" Everyone had a big laugh and had to agree. Little did they know that I know from whence I speak :)

LOVED your response- what are the other emotional states?

 

I think the erotic is completely driven by fear! I think the sex drive is the strongest impulse of all with untapped potential for change and the power is too scary to deal with so that's why all of these systems of social conditioning are in place to deny us of our lust! and this is exactly what advertising exploits.

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LOVED your response- what are the other emotional states?

 

I think the erotic is completely driven by fear! I think the sex drive is the strongest impulse of all with untapped potential for change and the power is too scary to deal with so that's why all of these systems of social conditioning are in place to deny us of our lust! and this is exactly what advertising exploits.

 

:D

 

The nine rasas are: erotics, humor, fury, heroics, wonder, terror, disgust, compassion, and peace. According to the most widely held theory, a great work of storytelling evokes every one of these, but, throughout the composition/performance and, most importantly, in the end, leads the audience to an experience of one predominant "rasa," which literally means taste or juice. 

 

As for sex and fear, the Sanskrit literary theorists completely agree with you. Although in some ways they might have been on the side of the advertisers! 

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loveinthetimeofcollaring,

 

I'm happy to answer these inquiries in person :)

But in short, to you I am a fully formed adult. But before we met, I have been many things and have come a long way to land where I am now. So there's a lot of dimension to my becoming.

 

 

Hmm, there is much here that I don't understand but I wish to--how exactly does your ego wish for validation (a wish whose prerequisites are so self-evident that I think no validation is necessary...)  pose problems in the split arena? What "becoming" are you going through? And, finally, how could anything compromise your dominance over others?

 

Granted, I've had far less interaction with you than some, but I still feel inclined to say this: even at your most vulnerable--or whatever other emblematic state one would invoke to indicate a reversal of dominance--I can't imagine you as anything but dominant.  Not to say that you can't be the full range of who you would be, but rather that (some types of) submission can be such that they hold up another regardless of the expected trappings of dominance. For me, personally, that's always been a core idea in submission--the supportive, loving submissive who wants to see the person they submit to get to express all their myriad sides without worry about their authority dissipating in any way.

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loveinthetimeofcollaring,

 

I'm happy to answer these inquiries in person :)

But in short, to you I am a fully formed adult. But before we met, I have been many things and have come a long way to land where I am now. So there's a lot of dimension to my becoming.

 

 

 

I would be very honored and beyond grateful to even hear the slimmest of chapters from that story :)

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  • 2 weeks later...

Thank you Mistress Fei, for the opportunity to address the group with some observations and questions.  I have not yet booked my first session at the fortress, as I am still doing my "due diligence" as to the proper etiquette and expectations....and one way I do this is to read the postings and topics on this forum.

My feelings about Jung's  Shadow Theory are mixed--as are my thoughts on Freud, Kierkegaard, or Nietzsche for that matter, as they relate to modern times. Their theories were formulated, and viewed through the lens of a strict Judeo-Christian society--with a good dose of guilt for contradicting their fathers wishes and plans for their future--many men can identify with that guilt and feeling of being a disappointment to their own family, while still trying to establish themselves as a men in their own right.  I do not believe we can apply that thinking today--although the questions they asked were indeed valid.

Furthermore, I would consider my "shadow" more of a place I put things for later use--rather than a place I "hide" things.  There is no one perfect way to deal with situations in life--so one should never be afraid to access the dark parts of one's self, because that may well be what is needed in certain circumstances.  Just because I identify a characteristic in someone as negative, doesn't mean that I have to have that characteristic in me as well.  The word "dark" itself is subjective--and in Jung's theory is viewed as a negative--but don't we sometimes envy in a positive way, someone who is able to be ruthless in a situation?  I'm not sure that self exploration has to be negative at all--rather more of an "end justifying the means" to a goal of self understanding and balance-- a Yin and Yang of self...

My questions to the group are: Since I have not yet experienced a session, am I to expect a transcendental experience?  If so, would that be my goal, or a result of a session?  What are some of the feelings one experiences during and after a session?   How closely does Jung's Shadow Theory mirror a session with the Mistress, in that one feels that he is exploring a dark side or shadow self?  Because I didn't think the experience was going to be so intense, as to cause me to re-evaluate my unconscious self--unless--that is the goal here?  Ideally, I'd like to get the most out of a session, so I want to know from more experienced players more about what to expect...

Thank you all for taking the time to review my posting--I look forward to your feedback!

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Thank you Mistress Fei, for the opportunity to address the group with some observations and questions.  I have not yet booked my first session at the fortress, as I am still doing my "due diligence" as to the proper etiquette and expectations....and one way I do this is to read the postings and topics on this forum.

My feelings about Jung's  Shadow Theory are mixed--as are my thoughts on Freud, Kierkegaard, or Nietzsche for that matter, as they relate to modern times. Their theories were formulated, and viewed through the lens of a strict Judeo-Christian society--with a good dose of guilt for contradicting their fathers wishes and plans for their future--many men can identify with that guilt and feeling of being a disappointment to their own family, while still trying to establish themselves as a men in their own right.  I do not believe we can apply that thinking today--although the questions they asked were indeed valid.

Furthermore, I would consider my "shadow" more of a place I put things for later use--rather than a place I "hide" things.  There is no one perfect way to deal with situations in life--so one should never be afraid to access the dark parts of one's self, because that may well be what is needed in certain circumstances.  Just because I identify a characteristic in someone as negative, doesn't mean that I have to have that characteristic in me as well.  The word "dark" itself is subjective--and in Jung's theory is viewed as a negative--but don't we sometimes envy in a positive way, someone who is able to be ruthless in a situation?  I'm not sure that self exploration has to be negative at all--rather more of an "end justifying the means" to a goal of self understanding and balance-- a Yin and Yang of self...

My questions to the group are: Since I have not yet experienced a session, am I to expect a transcendental experience?  If so, would that be my goal, or a result of a session?  What are some of the feelings one experiences during and after a session?   How closely does Jung's Shadow Theory mirror a session with the Mistress, in that one feels that he is exploring a dark side or shadow self?  Because I didn't think the experience was going to be so intense, as to cause me to re-evaluate my unconscious self--unless--that is the goal here?  Ideally, I'd like to get the most out of a session, so I want to know from more experienced players more about what to expect...

Thank you all for taking the time to review my posting--I look forward to your feedback!

 

Interesting point of view, interested to meet you to discuss your thoughts further.

 

Regarding your questions, I wouldn't go into your first session with expectations- an open mind works wonders in taking you to where you need to go. However, it is important to know what your interests are and who you would like to session with, which you have

the opportunity to email before hand, but the most important is meeting the mistress- the chemistry and rapport is what will create the session and is something you can't plan for

 

Booking can help you pick the right match in terms of experience level and interests- but also remember to go with your gut

i often think your choice in mistress is directed by your subconscious (and obviously libido which is important as well), as we each have our own core interests mixed with our own ability to tap into your needs/wants 

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I am all too familiar with my shadow, Mistress Fei.

It is my intense fear of failure. Not in a way that drives me to succeed, but rather to avoid all forms of competition entirely.
 
As a boy, it would tell me not to study or do my homework. Reasoning that to do so and possibly achieve only mediocre or failing grades would show me to be stupid.  That if I did receive poor grades, and hadn't tried, I would be considered 'too cool for school' or a 'smart kid that just didn't apply himself'.
 
Also, it would steer me away from competitive sports. Fearing that I would not be as good as the others or make an error costing the team the game, I stopped any type of zero sum game once my parents didn't force me. I felt the thrill of victory would not be worth the potential agony of defeat. Shadow says, "Best to stay away entirely"
 
As an adult, I do fear letting out my innermost feelings for fear of causing disruption in my life and relationships (just ask Mistress Zhao). 
 
I have managed to work with the shadow by going about things less competitively. I took up acting as a way to exercise my intelligence and later did go to college and excelled. I opted for personal best type sports like skiing, kayaking, sailing, etc.
 
It is a constant battle to overcome, or go around, the shadow.
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This is a wonderful question, worthy of thought and consideration.  Joseph Campbell was a great teacher of Jung.  To be precised, I'd have to go refamiliarize myself. Not going to do that.

 

My question is, since as a societal standard BDSM is considered "dark" and within the realm of the collective shadow, how many of you consider it to be a part of your own shadows and how many of you do not?

>>>  Some of the greatest comfort and beauty that I've felt as an expressive human being is when I'm open about what bdsm I like. That's all I have right now.

 

What has embracing the shadow element done for you in your life, do you feel more cohesive as a person, more sane?

>>>>> Difficult to say, or compare vs. a different imagined life in which bdsm feelings and actions would be "stuffed".  It's made me a more independent thinker. That has taken me to the most beautiful meditative, path-finding places.

 

What else would you say is in your shadow aspect, if you're willing to share?

>>>>>  I don't necessarily equate bdsm with shadow.  I think a prediliction to bdsm or anything, almost, can be related to a DNA roll of your neural dice.

 

Great topic and question.  Thanks for asking.

 

L

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