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Mistakes Were Made


Mistress Kang

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  • 5 weeks later...

franknot:

i am deeply moved by your story. Your decision wasn't dumb as you placed more value on your children at the risk of never having your fairy tale ending. You didn't and couldn't know how the story would end. No matter what you think there was no guarantee that your perfect partner would have remained perfect had you gone through with it. I see that there is a permanent sense of loss in your soul. Perhaps it is better this way; you'll never know.

In my own life I've carried a pervasive sadness. On several occasions I've come to that fork in the road and found reason to regret my choice. There is no guarantee that the road not taken would have yielded better results. 

Dannyboy 

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9 hours ago, Dannyboy said:

Perhaps it is better this way; you'll never know.

Dan,

Thanks for your thoughts .. and, as usual, sage advice  ... That's probably the best way to reflect on things like this.. never knowing of a possible bad ending is preferable to actually living through one...  And we have the luxury of painting the unknown in the best colors possible.

I'm guessing by your "Murray the K" reference in another post that we're of the same NYC generation, so we're both at that point in life where reflecting creeps in more often...

Wishing you well for the holidays .. and whatever the new year brings.

Frank

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  • 1 month later...

Well, in terms of mistakes with a Domme, there's one that I particularly regret, MANY years ago I sessioned with a domme (NYC based) who has now been based in FL forever.  We really connected and after the session she said she had a really good feeling/instinct about me and asked whether I had any interest in being her houseboy. She cautioned me that this was a serious commitment.  Her prior HB had disappointed her by not realizing she must always be his top priority.  She understood family and work obligations but if she called you she expected you to drop everything.   I asked if I could think about it and she said 'No, it's not the kind of thing you can 'think about'. I have the open position. Do you agree to fill it?'   I declined.  Kicked myself for years!

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5 minutes ago, eager2serve said:

Well, in terms of mistakes with a Domme, there's one that I particularly regret, MANY years ago I sessioned with a domme (NYC based) who has now been based in FL forever.  We really connected and after the session she said she had a really good feeling/instinct about me and asked whether I had any interest in being her houseboy. She cautioned me that this was a serious commitment.  Her prior HB had disappointed her by not realizing she must always be his top priority.  She understood family and work obligations but if she called you she expected you to drop everything.   I asked if I could think about it and she said 'No, it's not the kind of thing you can 'think about'. I have the open position. Do you agree to fill it?'   I declined.  Kicked myself for years!

Hindsight is 20/20. I think you were right to request some time to think about it since HB IS a serious commitment. How can one agree to such a commitment on the spot with someone they just met. To answer so immediately without thought is by definition not taking it seriously. Sounds to me she may have felt personally slighted by the request to mull it over. 

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1 hour ago, Mistress Kang said:

Hindsight is 20/20. I think you were right to request some time to think about it since HB IS a serious commitment. How can one agree to such a commitment on the spot with someone they just met. To answer so immediately without thought is by definition not taking it seriously. Sounds to me she may have felt personally slighted by the request to mull it over. 

It is, agreed.  It has always been my nature to take my commitments seriously but it has also been my nature to be eager to please , and deferential to dominant women.  So, it's natural to think of that as a lost opportunity.  To be truthful, looking back , even given more time I probably would have declined.  Not for lack of interest but I don't think I was ready then.  But she had an overwhelming presence, it was hard to think with a 'tractor beam' locked on you!   I have always admired your very pragmatic nature, your clarity.

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Before Matt Groening hit the upper stratosphere with The Simpsons, he had a strip called Life In Hell, which appeared in the Village Voice among other places, and was incidentally the first syndicated strip (I think) with a gay couple.  In any event, one of the most famous frames was one-eared Bongo looking up at his two-eared father Binky in a trashed room and saying....

 

 

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