Where does one start?

[baluba]

I’ve been following the forum for a while and I’ve had a session, but what I’m wondering where does one start with figuring out what ones kinks really are? Is it something you figure out along the way? I realize that the more I read about peoples experiences at the fortress without sessioning, the more I want to try, and the rougher and kinkier the stuff gets. I am sure there is a “learning curve” to go through, or do one jump into the deep end so to speak?

[Mistress Vivian Lu]

It sounds like you've already read about some things that interest you. Feel free to come in and tell us what you'd like to try. You can also ask fortress mistresses for ideas. We can get very creative!

[Howard]

In my opinion, you figure it out over time. There are many different facts to BDSM and submission. The Players at the FF are great at discussing your desires and needs and preparing scenes. Take it slow, trying to do too many things in one session just dilutes the experience. Good Luck.

[tommygermany]

Hi baluba,

 

well in my sessions so far it actually was like starting with an interest,

that I wanted to try out and then over the sessions, the ideas got more

creative and when you let them, the mistresses will push your limits from

one to another session... so can go oh so slightly, that you almost don't

even seem to realize it to, if you let them, two steps at once, I guess...

 

but the fortress mistresses kinda have a radar for what kind of activities you

might like and which suits best for you... and this is true for each and every

mistress I met so far...

you'd be in the best hands you can wish for...

 

I hope that helps,

 

TommyGermany

[Anubis]

I think you should look for an A to Z of fetishes and kinks and try a few, start with what you like, then what you think you would like.

 

I actually ended up trying a couple of things with Mistress Tran and Mistress Zhao that I had not even thought about trying and that worked out well, sometimes it is good to just go with the flow.

[whiplash]

It begins with the willingness, or even more the intense unquenchable thirst to walk through the fortress doors. Once your fantasies aren't enough to satisfy your desires it's time to take the plunge and try the real thing. I don't think it is unusual for our fantasies to go beyond our capabilities. In my experience it was best to start out slowly and build from there. If I had my bdsm life to live again I would have seen one Mistress for awhile at the beginning. It would have been easier to have more experiences and explore with one person. I took a different route but fortunately I wound up in a good place.

 

whip

[baluba]

Thanks for the reply guys, it is really appreciated. I will make use of Howard’s tip of only trying a few things at the time.

 

Did any of you have trouble with letting go and enjoying sessions at the start, or is that just me? The session I had at a dungeon in Berlin was rather disappointing as I felt the mistress stopped far too early and let my mind wander to other more mundane things- I always felt like I was in complete control, which is not what I was looking for. I am thinking or hoping this has do with communication before the session and the mistress not wanting to push too hard, even though she said she went beyond a normal ‘newbie’ session. From what I’ve heard, no safeword is not exactly what you want to start off with lol

 

I’m sorry if I’m rambling, but I’m having somewhat of a hard time putting down my thoughts and feelings into words.

[Howard]

Thanks for the reply guys, it is really appreciated. I will make use of Howard’s tip of only trying a few things at the time.

 

Did any of you have trouble with letting go and enjoying sessions at the start, or is that just me? The session I had at a dungeon in Berlin was rather disappointing as I felt the mistress stopped far too early and let my mind wander to other more mundane things- I always felt like I was in complete control, which is not what I was looking for. I am thinking or hoping this has do with communication before the session and the mistress not wanting to push too hard, even though she said she went beyond a normal ‘newbie’ session. From what I’ve heard, no safeword is not exactly what you want to start off with lol

 

I’m sorry if I’m rambling, but I’m having somewhat of a hard time putting down my thoughts and feelings into words.

 

Baluba

 

I session without a safe word - essentially No Mercy. For me, the loss of control is what adds the extra spice to the session. It took me many years to "let go".

 

Go slow, what you do not want is a session where the Mistress goes way beyond your comfort zone. At the same time, the objective should be to move you out of your comfort zone.

 

At any other place than the FF, I would worry about this. At the FF, they are so careful and in tune with your goals and needs, it is not a worry. My best advice is to be real clear about your desires and truly communicate this to the FF Players.

 

Good luck as you move forward on your new journey!

[Mistress Tran]

Hi baluba:

 

Everything takes time and exploration. Not to be too cliche but you don't know until you try. We at The Fortress specialize in introductory sessions and we can help you discover your kinks and interests. Sometimes there are things that have been speaking out to you for a long time and sometimes other are discovered along your way- either way- it all starts with a single spark of interest.

 

I hope you take a chance and take the first step in discovering more about yourself....

 

MTran