Follow me up these stairs for a good time?

My rational self would be screaming "no, you don't know what's up those stairs, it's dark, could be some kind of trap." But my rational self would be totally drowned out by something like "Mmmm black latex mini, hot yellow stockings..."  Hey, it's not like there's a hidden dungeon up there...

Ok, I'm following you.  Where are we going?