SuburbanGuy

I finished Whip Smart the other day and like a few others who commented here I am a bit ambivalent about the book. I enjoyed the book but the author never really seems to decide whether she was an enthusiastic part of the BDSM scene, was just conducting informal anthropological research or just had a cool part-time job while she was going through school - a job that turned into an addiction over time. Maybe that is part of the attraction of the book because it realistically reflects the prism through which a person sees themself, especially over a period of years. Speaking for myself, I believe people like to put other people in little neat psychological boxes but tend to either misunderstand themselves or consider themselves too complicated for just one of the boxes. If there is any interest, audio of the author's NPR interview can be found here: http://www.npr.org/2010/03/08/124369913/whip-smart-memoirs-of-a-dominatrix Does anyone have any other books that they would like to recommend? I am especially interested in the recommendations of the mistresses. I found the insights of Mistress Jung and Mistress Kang fascinating.

Mistress Jung, Thank you for your kind reply. I am sure I amused you, but not in any way that I intended. You certainly gave me a lot of UNboring ideas in our session and I look forward to exploring them in more detail. I will start keeping a list... J.J.B. I agree with you that it certainly seems that there isn't a way to make a bad choice when choosing a mistress at the Fortress . When looking through the website before deciding on a visit I really liked the short video presentations. It was a great idea for the Fortress to post video vignettes of the mistresses so that we can get some small idea of their personalities and likes/dislikes. I think it helps us better connect with them, especially when planning a first visit. I am also in awe of Mistress Zhao's talents. Her photographs are a great window on the Fortress. I wish I was able to see things (and help others see things) as she does. After my visit to the Fortress I decided to try to do some reading on BDSM and ordered Whip Smart: A Memoir to read on the flight home. Has anyone read it? I am almost finished but haven't read any reviews and I was wondering how people more experienced than I am (which is almost everyone else on the planet) thought about the book.

I finally took a leap of faith last week and visited the Fortress. As a middle aged first-timer, I squarely fit the profile discussed by Mistress Kang in her "Fetish Phenomenon" post. I (unfortunately) waited until my mid-forties to experience something that I had wanted to do for decades. If there was any benefit in waiting to experience the Fortress until now, it was to be initiated by the beautiful Mistress Jung. It was an experience I will never forget (indeed, I still have some physical reminders of a session which ended a few days ago). I lived in New York for three years while working and attending school and I fly to New York every few months on average but I had never been able to dredge up the courage to make an appointment until now. I regret all of that wasted time but intend to make up for it in the future. I gave a lot of thought to my first BDSM visit. I lurked here for a long time reading about people's experiences. I wanted a mistress who was experienced and who could guide me through the session. I did not want some nineteen year old who does this as a sideline. I was not disappointed. Mistress Jung is truly more beautiful than her photographs on the Fortress website. And she has a wonderful and playful evil side (as a former seminarian, I have given a lot of thought to evil). I also briefly met Mistress Ree and I agree with the other posters on this forum that her smile is truly wonderful. I love her heart tattoo! From the outset I was impressed by the professionalism I saw during my visit. From my first email I knew I was in good hands. They kindly answered all of my newbie questions and provided helpful suggestions. The Fortress location and layout inspires confidence. All-in-all I wanted a session that I could remember during my boring brainstorming meetings back at the office and while shopping at the grocery store late at night in the suburbs. As the old saw goes, I guess I should have been careful what I wished for because I got all that and more. I learned some important lessons: (1) if you can't answer a question about your most embarrassing moment to date, one will be provided for you (it was); (2) never let your fears dictate whether you should make an appointment with a beautiful woman (because those fears will pale in comparison to the more realistic fears she will provide during the session); and (3) try to arrange for more flights to New York so you can visit the Fortress again. I read one of Mistress Kang's interviews awhile back where she said that her goal was retention of customers. Mistress Kang, consider me retained. I can hardly wait for a return visit (but perhaps I should heal first). I have also taken Mistress Jung's advice to heart and will strive not to be "boring" before we meet again.