I have often wondered what attracts me to the lure of BDSM and a few thoughts come to mind.. aside from the fact that smokin' hot women look sexy as hell in dominatrix gear:
I did not have a strong male role model when I was growing up. My mother was the dominant in our family and she was always in charge. In a sense, I was trained to politely and quickly respond to her every command and be her servant... Not in a sexual way, but there were always chores, tons of chores! Today I am sexually attracted to women, but a part of me wants the woman to be powerful, commanding and to take charge. I am very shy around women, If a woman told me to kneel before her and lick her boots, that would be less awkward than me trying to strike up casual conversation.
Also, I do not feel sexually attractive. Women normally do not approach me, look at me or smile at me, but as a human I have a strong desire for physical contact at some level. I am attracted to the fact that in BDSM you can connect with another person and get physical contact and attention. This satisfies a basic primal need.
I'm not suggesting that any of these reasons apply to others who are in BDSM, I just think that these may be the reasons why I am interested. I am curious why women would be attracted to BDSM especially in a role of a dominatrix.