nyisles,
I believe that being open with a Domme and discussing this exact subject, then putting enough trust in the Player to deliver what is expected, should help to remedy the situation. These Dommes are extremely professional, so I am sure they would be able to help you move past what you have experienced in the past, as there clearly lies within you a desire to do so. I may be wrong, but I also get the impression that you tend to somewhat over think things and if that starts driving your whole thought process, you actually could end up being your own worst enemy.