Tim Posted January 24, 2010 Report Share Posted January 24, 2010 I am completely new to the BDSM scene. I've never been to the Fortress, or been with any Mistress anywhere. I know I want to try this, but I haven't a clue how to start. I don't really know yet what exactly I'd like or be into, and haven't a clue how to choose from the beautiful Mistresses. Does each have specialties? Is there a kind of "beginners session" that samples different things? How do I go about detailing my preferences, my limits, etc, when I have no idea what they are? The thought of submitting myself to a beautiful, dominating Mistress is so exciting, but I'm afraid of chickening out because I just don't know what I'm doing. I want my first session to be great, and the start of many new experiences. Anyone got any general advice for the clueless? I don't even understand many of the terms I see on BDSM sites. Certain things sound exciting, but I don't know if what I'm picturing is really what it's all about. For example, I've seen the phrase "slut training" numerous times, but can't seem to find a real definition for it. Any help or advice or stories of your own first-time dos and don'ts would be greatly appreciated. Thanks to all! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Ree Posted January 24, 2010 Report Share Posted January 24, 2010 Hello Tim! While i don't really want to say that you should pick a Mistress at random, you can't go far wrong with any of us (i will warn you however that Mistress Tan is very intense). Of course we all have different styles, but for lighter "beginner's introduction" a Mistress' specializations won't matter too much. You can pick a Mistress on appearance too- our different photoshoots can give you a very general idea of our different personalities and styles. If you have time i would also suggest just reading the forum for a little bit for the same reason. As for activities, maybe you could brainstorm a list of activities that sound like they might interest you. The Mistress you choose will then have an idea of things you want to try, and if you don't like an activity can move on to a different one on your list. Keep in mind however that some activities take a little more time than others so if you book an hour you may not make it to the bottom of your list, depending on how long it is, or if you find you don't like most of the activities and thus cover more ground. If you don't feel comfortable compiling a list just make it clear when you book that you are a beginner and would like to try a variety of different activities and that is what your Mistress will do. Since you aren't sure about limits you could rely on your safeword until you determine if you have limits and what they are. Common limits include marking (i.e. no lasting welts, bruises etc.), nipple or anal play (if you are sensitive about those areas), but it varies. Most people have limits, especially when starting, so if you feel uncomfortable about anything don't hesitate to communicate your reservations. Communication is key. At the start of the session make sure to tell you Mistress about any phobias, preexisting conditions or injuries, for obvious reasons. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MisterWinerack Posted January 24, 2010 Report Share Posted January 24, 2010 I feel you dilemma Tim. I consider myself still a newbie also although I'm coming up on my one year anniversary of my first visit at the end of the month. My suggestion is to be open and honest about what you are looking for and email Mistress Jessy at the booking address and discuss with her. Ms. Jessy is very good at understanding what you mean / are looking for and knows all her Mistresses so well that she will get you what you are looking for. Good luck and let us know how it turns out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Posted January 24, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 24, 2010 Thank you both for your advice. You've helped set my mind at ease (somewhat) about the whole thing, and I'm more determined than ever to stop fantasizing and DO this! Mistress Ree, I have looked at the photos, read descriptions, and perused the forum, and I think I've narrowed it down to yourself or Mistress Zhao (or maybe possibly Mistress Ahn - God, how to choose?!?) You seem like a fascinating woman and fantastic Mistress, and if we end up in a session together I hope to serve you well...or face appropriate punishment for my failure to do so! MisterWinerack, thank you also - I plan to email Mistress Jessy as you suggest to finalize my decision and work out what I want. I will report back on what happens! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dannyboy Posted January 25, 2010 Report Share Posted January 25, 2010 I am completely new to the BDSM scene. I've never been to the Fortress, or been with any Mistress anywhere. I know I want to try this, but I haven't a clue how to start. I don't really know yet what exactly I'd like or be into, and haven't a clue how to choose from the beautiful Mistresses. Does each have specialties? Is there a kind of "beginners session" that samples different things? How do I go about detailing my preferences, my limits, etc, when I have no idea what they are? The thought of submitting myself to a beautiful, dominating Mistress is so exciting, but I'm afraid of chickening out because I just don't know what I'm doing. I want my first session to be great, and the start of many new experiences. Anyone got any general advice for the clueless? I don't even understand many of the terms I see on BDSM sites. Certain things sound exciting, but I don't know if what I'm picturing is really what it's all about. For example, I've seen the phrase "slut training" numerous times, but can't seem to find a real definition for it. Any help or advice or stories of your own first-time dos and don'ts would be greatly appreciated. Thanks to all! I think it's a tribute to the natural progression of the scene and the state of the art to which Mistress Kang has brought the scene in NYC that there is a credible Forum to which such a question could be brought. You are in good hands. Just trust your instincts and allow yourself to discover what is true for so many of us. Dannyboy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mistress Kang Posted January 25, 2010 Report Share Posted January 25, 2010 Thank you both for your advice. You've helped set my mind at ease (somewhat) about the whole thing, and I'm more determined than ever to stop fantasizing and DO this! Mistress Ree, I have looked at the photos, read descriptions, and perused the forum, and I think I've narrowed it down to yourself or Mistress Zhao (or maybe possibly Mistress Ahn - God, how to choose?!?) You seem like a fascinating woman and fantastic Mistress, and if we end up in a session together I hope to serve you well...or face appropriate punishment for my failure to do so! MisterWinerack, thank you also - I plan to email Mistress Jessy as you suggest to finalize my decision and work out what I want. I will report back on what happens! Mistress Ree had a lot of good points. You can't go wrong with choosing from the Players page and reading up on different Mistresses on the Forum and their reviews (on the site and the Forum). What are you seeking in this session? What do you want out of it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Ree Posted January 25, 2010 Report Share Posted January 25, 2010 Thank you both for your advice. You've helped set my mind at ease (somewhat) about the whole thing, and I'm more determined than ever to stop fantasizing and DO this! Mistress Ree, I have looked at the photos, read descriptions, and perused the forum, and I think I've narrowed it down to yourself or Mistress Zhao (or maybe possibly Mistress Ahn - God, how to choose?!?) You seem like a fascinating woman and fantastic Mistress, and if we end up in a session together I hope to serve you well...or face appropriate punishment for my failure to do so! MisterWinerack, thank you also - I plan to email Mistress Jessy as you suggest to finalize my decision and work out what I want. I will report back on what happens! Well Tim, if i see you in session i'm certain that you will serve me to the best of your budding ability. I will make sure of it, hehe, as will Mistresses Zhao or Ahn should you choose them. They are both great and you will not be disappointed with any of us! Also, think on what Mistress Kang said. What will you be seeking in session, what do you want from it? Do you want a darker or a more "playful" experience for your first session? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Posted January 25, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 25, 2010 I did it! I did it! (Yay me!) Mistress Ree, you and I have a two-hour session scheduled for mid-February! (I would have made it sooner, but I'm going to be away for a bit. Now all I have to do is figure out how not to go insane with anticipation over the next 3 weeks...) While I'm sure I won't be able to tolerate nearly what a more experienced sub can, I do want a serious session to see what those limits are. My fantasies are all fairly dark - my Mistress's lowly slut, used and abused - and I'd very much like to see how close to that I'm capable of getting. I'm sure you will be able to take me beyond what I imagine possible. Use me for your pleasure Mistress - I will try not to disappoint, and to accept my punishment to the absolute best of my ability. (And if I turn out to be a crying wuss, show no mercy...) Is there anything I need to know / do / bring / prepare for my session? I will do as you command, in all things. And fellow slaves, I'd still like any advice you have for a first-timer. Do's and don'ts, etiquitte, tips, anything you can tell me to help me serve Mistress Ree and get maximum enjoyment from my first session. (Also - and this is a little awkward, knowing that my Mistress will read it - what about tipping? Is it common? Expected? If so, what is a normal tip? I want to pay proper tribute to my Mistress.) Thank you all for your input so far...you are a very kind and welcoming bunch, and I'm happy (SO happy) to be joining the fun! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dancespell98 Posted January 25, 2010 Report Share Posted January 25, 2010 Dear Tim, Simply be candid with the Mistress of your choice. You may want to write down ahead what you want and give her the info in advance or at the session. My experience is that the Fortress will intuitively recognize and meet your needs. Other places can be less discriminating. Keep up the good work! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mustanggt Posted January 25, 2010 Report Share Posted January 25, 2010 I did it! I did it! (Yay me!) Mistress Ree, you and I have a two-hour session scheduled for mid-February! (I would have made it sooner, but I'm going to be away for a bit. Now all I have to do is figure out how not to go insane with anticipation over the next 3 weeks...) While I'm sure I won't be able to tolerate nearly what a more experienced sub can, I do want a serious session to see what those limits are. My fantasies are all fairly dark - my Mistress's lowly slut, used and abused - and I'd very much like to see how close to that I'm capable of getting. I'm sure you will be able to take me beyond what I imagine possible. Use me for your pleasure Mistress - I will try not to disappoint, and to accept my punishment to the absolute best of my ability. (And if I turn out to be a crying wuss, show no mercy...) Is there anything I need to know / do / bring / prepare for my session? I will do as you command, in all things. And fellow slaves, I'd still like any advice you have for a first-timer. Do's and don'ts, etiquitte, tips, anything you can tell me to help me serve Mistress Ree and get maximum enjoyment from my first session. (Also - and this is a little awkward, knowing that my Mistress will read it - what about tipping? Is it common? Expected? If so, what is a normal tip? I want to pay proper tribute to my Mistress.) Thank you all for your input so far...you are a very kind and welcoming bunch, and I'm happy (SO happy) to be joining the fun! Goodluck you've taken the first step, as far as session specifics go Ms. Kang is the best one to explain that to you. If this is your first time be polite and be on time, I've only met Ms. Vu and Ms. Kang and they are super nice ladies. It's your first time, the anticipation will only grow in the next few weeks. Expect butterflies in your stomach and weak knees before your first session, I did. Remember communication is very important, like anything else. All I can say now is good luck and in Ms. Kang and the Fortress you have picked the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seantrfc Posted January 25, 2010 Report Share Posted January 25, 2010 Tim, well done on booking! I'm sure the next 3 weeks will be full of anticipation, excitement, and nerves for you. I know the feeling, having only had one session before, I'm from the UK so don't get much time in NYC, and when I do I can't always have the money for this kind of thing, after paying for flights, accommodation etc . My friend is going there to do an internship in a couple of weeks until summer...I'd do anything to swap with him. I'm doing mine in Barcelona, so if anyone knows of any Fortress type places, please let me know! You seem like you're into different stuff than me, I was more into the playful scene, tease and denial, light humiliation...it turned out that after looking at the profiles, and emailing with Jessy, Mistress Vu was perfect for me. She was unbelievable at what she does and I definitely want to experience a session with her again. I felt really nervous when I went in. Whether that was cos I was sitting in Chinatown for half an hour before with $300 in my pocket, or cos I didn't know what to expect one bit, I don't know. Anyway, I got to the Fortress and made the mistake of thinking my UK driving license would be enough ID, nope, silly me should have followed instructions and brought my Passport...back to the Upper West Side then to get that! Luckily, Vu was free, and Jessy was excellent, telling me to come back whenever that night. Anyway, as I entered the Fortress I was shaking a little bit, felt cold and nervous. I won't go into too much detail about how it unfolded because I don't want to ruin the suprise for you, but Mistress Vu was excellent about it. She made me feel very relaxed, and within minutes I was in my own little mind. My biggest regret is really the fact that as I was nervous, I didn't really open up to Vu too much about what I wanted from the session, I was pretty closed and I guess I just expected her to know. That said, Vu did an amazing job despite my lack of communication, and she showed what a truly talented Mistress she is. So yeah, just go in there, and be open about what you want. If Mistress Ree is anything like Vu, and I'm sure she is, then you will be in great hands. I was exactly the same as you when it came to tipping: clueless! I was just an English boy, who had been in America all summer, had obviously read about the tipping culture when doing research etc, and just didn't have a clue whether it would be the same in this industry. As it went, I did give a tip at the end of my session, of $20, so not much at all considering the session was $260 (less than 10%). I'd also like to hear an answer on it for next time I get to the Fortress. Good luck, I'm jealous! Sean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Zhao Posted January 26, 2010 Report Share Posted January 26, 2010 I did it! I did it! (Yay me!) Mistress Ree, you and I have a two-hour session scheduled for mid-February! (I would have made it sooner, but I'm going to be away for a bit. Now all I have to do is figure out how not to go insane with anticipation over the next 3 weeks...) While I'm sure I won't be able to tolerate nearly what a more experienced sub can, I do want a serious session to see what those limits are. My fantasies are all fairly dark - my Mistress's lowly slut, used and abused - and I'd very much like to see how close to that I'm capable of getting. I'm sure you will be able to take me beyond what I imagine possible. Use me for your pleasure Mistress - I will try not to disappoint, and to accept my punishment to the absolute best of my ability. (And if I turn out to be a crying wuss, show no mercy...) Is there anything I need to know / do / bring / prepare for my session? I will do as you command, in all things. And fellow slaves, I'd still like any advice you have for a first-timer. Do's and don'ts, etiquitte, tips, anything you can tell me to help me serve Mistress Ree and get maximum enjoyment from my first session. (Also - and this is a little awkward, knowing that my Mistress will read it - what about tipping? Is it common? Expected? If so, what is a normal tip? I want to pay proper tribute to my Mistress.) Thank you all for your input so far...you are a very kind and welcoming bunch, and I'm happy (SO happy) to be joining the fun! Tim, Congrats on booking with Mistress Ree. Now, to show up.. I think your literal depictions of your fantasies will give Mistress Ree an idea of how to play with you. With each new player comes a new precedent and pattern. The most amazing thing about bdsm is its potential for creative growth. Of course there are many tried and true tactics, but the new ones always excite me the most. Don't worry about comparing yourself to other subs in the capacity of what you can take, etc. This will be YOUR session, and YOUR fantasy. And the fun part of "etiquette" is the learning process. You will be immediately corrected if you do something out of line! Tipping is always appreciated. You are the best judge of that, based on your experience with the lovely Mistress Ree. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Ree Posted January 26, 2010 Report Share Posted January 26, 2010 I did it! I did it! (Yay me!) Mistress Ree, you and I have a two-hour session scheduled for mid-February! (I would have made it sooner, but I'm going to be away for a bit. Now all I have to do is figure out how not to go insane with anticipation over the next 3 weeks...) While I'm sure I won't be able to tolerate nearly what a more experienced sub can, I do want a serious session to see what those limits are. My fantasies are all fairly dark - my Mistress's lowly slut, used and abused - and I'd very much like to see how close to that I'm capable of getting. I'm sure you will be able to take me beyond what I imagine possible. Use me for your pleasure Mistress - I will try not to disappoint, and to accept my punishment to the absolute best of my ability. (And if I turn out to be a crying wuss, show no mercy...) Is there anything I need to know / do / bring / prepare for my session? I will do as you command, in all things. And fellow slaves, I'd still like any advice you have for a first-timer. Do's and don'ts, etiquitte, tips, anything you can tell me to help me serve Mistress Ree and get maximum enjoyment from my first session. (Also - and this is a little awkward, knowing that my Mistress will read it - what about tipping? Is it common? Expected? If so, what is a normal tip? I want to pay proper tribute to my Mistress.) Thank you all for your input so far...you are a very kind and welcoming bunch, and I'm happy (SO happy) to be joining the fun! Congratulations for taking the first step! Mid-February eh? I will look forward to dominating you . Also, don't worry about disappointing me. It won't happen. It will be your first session (ever!) so there is no reason you should expect yourself to have the same limits as an experienced sub. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Posted February 10, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2010 I really hope it doesn't snow like this NEXT wednesday! (excited) (nervous) (totally psyched!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Trouble Baby Posted February 10, 2010 Report Share Posted February 10, 2010 I really hope it doesn't snow like this NEXT wednesday! (excited) (nervous) (totally psyched!) Tim, My first ever session was a little over a year ago and at the Fortress. My Appointment was for 3PM and the snow and high winds started about mid morning. I didn't know the area well so I brought a map and while I was walking the snow and wind soaked my map beyond recognition. I got lost and being I hate to be late for appointments I was getting concerned. That and the nervous feeling of my first session had me talking to myself. I made it with minutes to spare and Mistress Zhao took good care of me. Hope your journey to the Fortress is more agreeable and I'm sure Ms Ree will also take good care of you. Ray Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Ree Posted February 11, 2010 Report Share Posted February 11, 2010 I really hope it doesn't snow like this NEXT wednesday! (excited) (nervous) (totally psyched!) LOL me too!! I'm looking forward to seeing you :twisted: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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