Negotiating play at the “right level”

[BookNerd]

I’ve played privately and also had a few sessions with professional mistresses. Both have their own advantages, and I have to say that when I’ve played within the context of a relationship the sessions have usually been more intense compared to professional sessions. The reason for this is that I’m bad at asking for what I want at the start of a session, and I effectively just “chicken out” and ask for a much milder version of what I’d really like. The reason, I think, is that I actually hate it at the time (I enjoy it afterwards) but all my most memorable experiences are from private play where the domme has gone almost too far. 
 

I’m curious if this is something people on here are familiar with. I read a lot of reviews from the Fortress that sound like incredible, intense sessions and it makes me wonder if I can modify my own pre-scene negotiation to   something a notch harder. 

[Xrispy]

I can relate Books, for some of us it is impossible to put into words the desires we hold. I think that you need to build a rapport so the Mistress can get to know how deep to go. I do play with a friend regularly who has been pushing my limits like crazy, almost too much. I would constantly have to reassure her that don’t worry, it’s not going to break. Well last week it broke. ?it is  getting better now.