Curious

[Mistress Lane]

What’s the first thing that made you interested in kink or power exchange? Was there a specific moment, book, movie, or experience?

 

[risotto]

Not really.  The slave girl outfit in Return of the Jedi surely had a big impact on me - I'm a switch.  But I'd been already having fantasies that involved me being tied up for as long as I'd been having sexual fantasies.  They just, arrived.  I didn't act on any of those thoughts until decades later, which is surely a shame.  

[Mistress Matira]

2 hours ago, risotto said:

Not really.  The slave girl outfit in Return of the Jedi surely had a big impact on me - I'm a switch.  But I'd been already having fantasies that involved me being tied up for as long as I'd been having sexual fantasies.  They just, arrived.  I didn't act on any of those thoughts until decades later, which is surely a shame.  

So were you Jabba the Hutt in this fantasy? 🤔

[risotto]

30 minutes ago, Mistress Matira said:

So were you Jabba the Hutt in this fantasy? 🤔

I mean, you've met me.

[slave mark]

The Amazons on Xena. I think my liking having chance incorporated into my sessions comes from [url=https://looneytunes.fandom.com/wiki/Early_to_Bet]a Looney Tune[/url] where a cat who loses bets has to spin a wheel for punishments.

[bob973]

Seeeing women in leather leather leather. I cannot take my eyes off like a fly into a spider web I go. 

[Mistress Lane]

20 hours ago, risotto said:

Not really.  The slave girl outfit in Return of the Jedi surely had a big impact on me - I'm a switch.  But I'd been already having fantasies that involved me being tied up for as long as I'd been having sexual fantasies.  They just, arrived.  I didn't act on any of those thoughts until decades later, which is surely a shame.  

Leia's outfit definitely seems to have left a lasting impression on a lot of people. 😄 It sounds like the fantasies were already there, though. Do you think pop culture influenced your interests, or did it just happen to reflect what you were already feeling? And what finally gave you the confidence to explore them years later?

[Mistress Lane]

3 hours ago, slave mark said:

The Amazons on Xena. I think my liking having chance incorporated into my sessions comes from [url=https://looneytunes.fandom.com/wiki/Early_to_Bet]a Looney Tune[/url] where a cat who loses bets has to spin a wheel for punishments.

Xena is such a classic answer. I can definitely see how the Amazons would leave an impression. The punishment wheel is an interesting detail too. Do you think it was the unpredictability that drew you in, or the idea of giving up control to chance? Has that stayed one of your favorite dynamics over the years?

[Mistress Lane]

Leather definitely has a way of making a statement. 😈

3 hours ago, bob973 said:

Seeeing women in leather leather leather. I cannot take my eyes off like a fly into a spider web I go. 

Do you think it's the look itself that draws you in, or is it more the confidence and presence of the person wearing it? Was there a particular movie, show, or moment that first made that connection for you?

[bob973]

42 minutes ago, Mistress Lane said:

Leather definitely has a way of making a statement. 😈

Do you think it's the look itself that draws you in, or is it more the confidence and presence of the person wearing it? Was there a particular movie, show, or moment that first made that connection for you?

Any woman wearing leather in confidence will catch my full attention. There are lots of good movies but one most notable is Mr and Mrs Smith in the dominatrix scene. 

[risotto]

3 hours ago, Mistress Lane said:

Leia's outfit definitely seems to have left a lasting impression on a lot of people. 😄 It sounds like the fantasies were already there, though. Do you think pop culture influenced your interests, or did it just happen to reflect what you were already feeling? And what finally gave you the confidence to explore them years later?

I think pop culture probably did amplify things a little, but most of it was there.  Man, I loved the movie "Bound."  Seriously, it's a popular Hollywood movie that's fundamentally a lesbian bondage flick.   I saw Gina Gershon in "Cabaret" on B'way after that, and while she is not a great singer, she was super hot.  And while it leaves a lot unsaid, Cabaret is probably the kinkiest B'way hit ever.  And after "Bound" not shockingly both Wachowskis turned out to be trans and at least one a serious sub.   And then the internet, starting with Usenet, which is surely before your time.  Before it got killed by spam, I remember looking at alt.sex.bondage on Usenet thinking, oh just gonna be a bunch of nerds, should be funny and boy was I wrong.  

I was always too shy to try to ask for the things I was curious about.  My very first experience was at the Fortress.  Well, I dropped by one of the fetish clubs once, when they still existed, but I went way too early in the night and it was, uggh.  The Fortress seemed like a safe space to explore things I was curious about.   And it has been

[Mistress Lane]

5 hours ago, bob973 said:

Any woman wearing leather in confidence will catch my full attention. There are lots of good movies but one most notable is Mr and Mrs Smith in the dominatrix scene. 

Confidence really does change the whole look. 😈 I remember that scene too, it definitely left an impression. Do you think it's the leather itself that captivates you most, or the confidence and authority that someone wearing it tends to project?

[Mistress Lane]

2 hours ago, risotto said:

I think pop culture probably did amplify things a little, but most of it was there.  Man, I loved the movie "Bound."  Seriously, it's a popular Hollywood movie that's fundamentally a lesbian bondage flick.   I saw Gina Gershon in "Cabaret" on B'way after that, and while she is not a great singer, she was super hot.  And while it leaves a lot unsaid, Cabaret is probably the kinkiest B'way hit ever.  And after "Bound" not shockingly both Wachowskis turned out to be trans and at least one a serious sub.   And then the internet, starting with Usenet, which is surely before your time.  Before it got killed by spam, I remember looking at alt.sex.bondage on Usenet thinking, oh just gonna be a bunch of nerds, should be funny and boy was I wrong.  

I was always too shy to try to ask for the things I was curious about.  My very first experience was at the Fortress.  Well, I dropped by one of the fetish clubs once, when they still existed, but I went way too early in the night and it was, uggh.  The Fortress seemed like a safe space to explore things I was curious about.   And it has been

That's actually a really interesting journey. It sounds like you spent a long time observing and learning before you ever decided to participate. I'm glad you found a place where you felt comfortable enough to explore your curiosity. Looking back now, was the reality of finally trying it pretty close to what you'd imagined all those years, or did anything surprise you?

[risotto]

The reality was beyond.  After my first visit I had to wait for most of a year to come back because I was afraid of becoming obsessed.  Did you ever read "The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe" as a kid?  The scene with the magically addictive Turkish delight absolutely terrified me.  And so did my first visit to the Fortress.  But I did come to understand this is only one part of me - a fun part, but only one part.  And now I can just enjoy the fun weird shit I like.

[bob973]

1 hour ago, Mistress Lane said:

Confidence really does change the whole look. 😈 I remember that scene too, it definitely left an impression. Do you think it's the leather itself that captivates you most, or the confidence and authority that someone wearing it tends to project?

It is both that makes the combination so exciting. 

[Mistress Lane]

1 hour ago, risotto said:

The reality was beyond.  After my first visit I had to wait for most of a year to come back because I was afraid of becoming obsessed.  Did you ever read "The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe" as a kid?  The scene with the magically addictive Turkish delight absolutely terrified me.  And so did my first visit to the Fortress.  But I did come to understand this is only one part of me - a fun part, but only one part.  And now I can just enjoy the fun weird shit I like.

I actually love that comparison to The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, I wasn't expecting that.  It sounds like you went from worrying it might consume you to realizing it was simply one part of who you are, not your whole identity. That's a pretty healthy perspective. Looking back, do you think that first visit changed you the most, or did it just give you permission to embrace something that had always been there?

[Mistress Lane]

19 minutes ago, bob973 said:

It is both that makes the combination so exciting. 

Umm ok I can understand why good to know lol

[risotto]

7 hours ago, Mistress Lane said:

I actually love that comparison to The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, I wasn't expecting that.  It sounds like you went from worrying it might consume you to realizing it was simply one part of who you are, not your whole identity. That's a pretty healthy perspective. Looking back, do you think that first visit changed you the most, or did it just give you permission to embrace something that had always been there?

I think the latter.  It was all always there, and finally I had the courage to open that door and see all the beautiful glittering things behind it.  I know different people have very different relationships to fetish.  Some absolutely need to have their fetish element present.  I don't.  I'm still happy with pure vanilla, too, but now I have access to a much broader flavor palette.   And I'm still trying every new thing I can.

[Mistress Lane]

3 hours ago, risotto said:

I think the latter.  It was all always there, and finally I had the courage to open that door and see all the beautiful glittering things behind it.  I know different people have very different relationships to fetish.  Some absolutely need to have their fetish element present.  I don't.  I'm still happy with pure vanilla, too, but now I have access to a much broader flavor palette.   And I'm still trying every new thing I can.

I really enjoyed reading your perspective. 😊 I think "a broader flavor palette" is going to stick with me, that's such a thoughtful way of describing it. Thanks for sharing your journey, and I hope you keep finding new experiences that surprise you.