risotto

"Unforgettable" can be bad too. I haven't forgotten the worst Mistress I ever met, in Bangkok. Or the only Mistress I ever met at the Fortress who was totally not a match for me (she had a real fan base; unlike the one in BKK, she knew what she was doing) - first time I ever used a safe word. Otherwise, lots of things can make a Mistress unforgettable, though I think that is very personal. For me, I have strong memories of the Mistresses who love what they're doing and usually that means specific things. I love the look of concentration when a Mistress is doing a particularly beautiful tie, or working a pattern with dozens of needles, or, for a current FF Mistress, M. Dalisay's look of devious joy figuring out what disgusting thing to do with some piece of food. I love to see the delicate balance of the drive for control, with the care for the sub. I remember some Mistresses for their love of physicality, the ones who really love to punch and kick. Their is a unique look of joy that communicates, "I'm getting paid to handcuff this guy and then knee him in the kidneys!"

I do have some safety concerns.

Congratulations to M. Tang!

Well, the 8 trigrams from the I Ching, plus the two rings. Once upon a time I knew the symbolism for the trigrams, (and mostly the hexagrams) but I've forgotten it all. If I recall correctly, those things are used for feng shui, though I have no idea how.

Having visited M. Tang in person twice, I still find these just remarkable.

Sounds like fun! Awfully long time since I've worn way too much black eyeliner. I'm not sure whether or not that I appreciate that was from an era when people didn't take photos of everything, so there is no extant evidence.

I actually saw that done once, as part of a performance piece, years ago. Gotta love downtown performance.

I'm at two weeks from my session with this pair and I still have the bruises to show from it. Doesn't hurt when I sit down anymore, though.

I think the latter. It was all always there, and finally I had the courage to open that door and see all the beautiful glittering things behind it. I know different people have very different relationships to fetish. Some absolutely need to have their fetish element present. I don't. I'm still happy with pure vanilla, too, but now I have access to a much broader flavor palette. And I'm still trying every new thing I can.

The reality was beyond. After my first visit I had to wait for most of a year to come back because I was afraid of becoming obsessed. Did you ever read "The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe" as a kid? The scene with the magically addictive Turkish delight absolutely terrified me. And so did my first visit to the Fortress. But I did come to understand this is only one part of me - a fun part, but only one part. And now I can just enjoy the fun weird shit I like.

I think pop culture probably did amplify things a little, but most of it was there. Man, I loved the movie "Bound." Seriously, it's a popular Hollywood movie that's fundamentally a lesbian bondage flick. I saw Gina Gershon in "Cabaret" on B'way after that, and while she is not a great singer, she was super hot. And while it leaves a lot unsaid, Cabaret is probably the kinkiest B'way hit ever. And after "Bound" not shockingly both Wachowskis turned out to be trans and at least one a serious sub. And then the internet, starting with Usenet, which is surely before your time. Before it got killed by spam, I remember looking at alt.sex.bondage on Usenet thinking, oh just gonna be a bunch of nerds, should be funny and boy was I wrong. I was always too shy to try to ask for the things I was curious about. My very first experience was at the Fortress. Well, I dropped by one of the fetish clubs once, when they still existed, but I went way too early in the night and it was, uggh. The Fortress seemed like a safe space to explore things I was curious about. And it has been

I mean, you've met me.

Not really. The slave girl outfit in Return of the Jedi surely had a big impact on me - I'm a switch. But I'd been already having fantasies that involved me being tied up for as long as I'd been having sexual fantasies. They just, arrived. I didn't act on any of those thoughts until decades later, which is surely a shame.