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Every color has it's own meaning.

What is red, white and blue? Your balls after I’ve stepped on them 🤭

There wasn't a specific moment, it was the result of my childhood. Like a Pavlovian dog, I keep crawling back to pain and humiliation.

You are very kind, Mistress Dalisay, thank you. I can't look into a woman's heart, i don't know if she loves me; sometimes I'm afraid - what if she'll leave me? But I feel accepted by her, with every strike, with every welt, with every lash or drop of wax. "To kneel before Mistress Dalisay is to embark on a voyage of transformation, where the only compass is her desire, and the destination is complete surrender." To use this picture, i am drifting on a raft without a rudder in an ocean of lust and desire, and i am grateful for a mistress who gives my life purpose and direction. I wish that every man gives you, Mistress Dalisay, the adoration and respect you deserve, and i thank you again for your kind words.

Probably just having chance decide what is going to happen to me.

I really enjoyed reading your perspective. 😊 I think "a broader flavor palette" is going to stick with me, that's such a thoughtful way of describing it. Thanks for sharing your journey, and I hope you keep finding new experiences that surprise you.

I think the latter. It was all always there, and finally I had the courage to open that door and see all the beautiful glittering things behind it. I know different people have very different relationships to fetish. Some absolutely need to have their fetish element present. I don't. I'm still happy with pure vanilla, too, but now I have access to a much broader flavor palette. And I'm still trying every new thing I can.

Umm ok I can understand why good to know lol

I actually love that comparison to The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, I wasn't expecting that. It sounds like you went from worrying it might consume you to realizing it was simply one part of who you are, not your whole identity. That's a pretty healthy perspective. Looking back, do you think that first visit changed you the most, or did it just give you permission to embrace something that had always been there?

It is both that makes the combination so exciting.

The reality was beyond. After my first visit I had to wait for most of a year to come back because I was afraid of becoming obsessed. Did you ever read "The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe" as a kid? The scene with the magically addictive Turkish delight absolutely terrified me. And so did my first visit to the Fortress. But I did come to understand this is only one part of me - a fun part, but only one part. And now I can just enjoy the fun weird shit I like.

Looks like you've already made your decision. 😏 I just hope you're as prepared as you think you are. Mistress Dalisay and I appreciate good manners, confidence, and someone who's ready to follow directions. We'll see how you do. 😉

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