Mistress Fei
-
Posts
675 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Gallery
Posts posted by Mistress Fei
-
-
He says that fetishes, when repressed, lead to neurosis. To lead a neurosis free life, we can't repress that urge and must acknowledge, and confront it.Anything a person represses can lead to behavioral problems in life. If someone has a desire to act outside of what they perceive to be "normal" or "acceptable" that person then needs to hide part of who he/she is. Those behavioral problems can manifest in many different ways including anxiety, neurosis, depression, etc....But going back to the point, can you repress a "fetish"? How does one know they are fetishist? Certainly, one would know their desires are out of line with their peers, but would those desires be considered fetish? If you look over time, go back 1,000 years, what is fetish? Was dressing a man in woman's clothes fetish back then? I would say that fetish is environmental, sociological, and relevant to the current trends in society. So that repression and form of repression will change over time. But as long as people have an outlet to explore what others perceive as not normal a fetish neurosis will not form. But then others will form. Such as having to hide the fetish from a loved one or family.Point is, there is no escaping the web we weave with others in culture and society unless you can train yourself not to care what others think and can create a life that is free from the acceptance of others.What would your life be like if you did not explore bdsm? See PMWhat has your open exploration of bdsm done for you, is it helpful? Therapeutic? Not effective?Extraordinarily helpful and entirely different than what I expected to find. Completely therapeutic. There is a cycle in it that enables the brain to change between many phases and states and through that cycle it feels to me like negative "energy" (for lack of a better term) is released and more positive "energy" is gained. I feel renewed, relaxed, joyful, focused, and energized.When did you first realize your urge and how? See PMWhat drove you to explore it?See PM
Hi there!
I have a lot to say in response to your very insightful answers. I'm having trouble replying to your PM right now as it seems we are having some trouble on this front but I wanted you to know I read your response twice and watched the videos. I'm glad that I'm seeing you soon so that we can go over a lot of these topics in person. I too have had various forms of anxiety so I can relate to you. After you experience crippling panic attacks, it is both the most confining experience being terrified of and trapped in your own body and the most liberating too- there's nothing left to be afraid of after you've had that kind of experience where your own body and mind can turn against you. I'll reply to your PM in detail when the function allows and can't wait to discuss with you.
x Fei
-
Best article I've read in a long time
-
A good example of a want in light of recent posts- I want a triboob, so I
I found this to be an interesting thread. And I have scheduled a session with Mistress Fei as a result. I know that I will be punished in due course for being unfaithful to Mistress Tran. However, since I seem to get punished no matter what I do, this was a neutral factor in the decision-making process.
What day am I seeing you, bassman? Operating on a lose-lose condition seems to be liberating
-
Hmm.. your answers seem contradictory.. Wouldn't therapy automatically imply one is being changed, or altered in some way?
or perhaps what I mean by that is, there's something that seeks alleviating. Therapy is a catalyst
-
LoL is that something you would like to see? Just imagine, a sub asked to dress in something skimpy and then made to do stripper moves for the mistresses to enjoy, lol. Sounds like a session for the pink room.
That exact scenario is one of my favorites to do to sissies!
-
Brooklyn Museum has just introduced their latest exhibit...Killer Heels! I know I certainly can't wait to take a look at all the lovely stilettos that'll be on display. Who else is going to be checking it out? (Sorry, boys. No inappropriate shoe licking!
)More info here: http://www.brooklynm...ibitions/heels/
Imagine that heel going into a sub's mouth!!!!
-
It seems that since different people have varying extents to which they must explore their fetishes to be comfortable, some can go through life fine not acknowledging it and others would have a very hard time not doing so. For some it is icing on the cake and for others, kink is part of one's identity and repression of it could very well lead to neurosis. I certainly find it a big part of my identity, and luckily I have had many opportunities to explore my fetishes. I'm sure I would feel quite trapped if I felt the need to repress it.
What I wonder about is how much exploration of one's fetishes one would have to do to feel satisfied. One can always read and watch videos about various kinks thanks to the internet, but acting them out in one's personal life or coming into a dungeon to make them a reality takes it to a different level. It's certainly a reason why we mistresses have a great appreciation for the Fortress; it is a place where people can go to do just that.
Hi Lu, I think you answered your own question- as you mentioned, sometimes a need and draw to kink/bdsm is deep and other times shallow. I suppose this means that depending on the degrees of your association, the amount of exposure would vary. Another thing I'd like to throw in there is perhaps we will never be truly "satisfied", as any need in life exists as a need that needs constant replenishing. For instance, hunger or thirst are needs, and sure we can be satiated but the need always returns. I think a need and a want are very different, obviously spiritually but even on a superficial level. Wants can be satisfied, sometimes even permanently. A need, never fully.
-
Being forever strung along by your balls chasing a fetish can be viewed as a neurosis. I'm probably a bit too immature to answer this question from the amount of laughter that came after wiki-ing 'neurosis' and viewing the heading "Horney's theory". Given that, I'll defend my point with a joke I like (:50 to end): https://www.youtube....h?v=w0nH0cuSOSI
But to go with the statement and question, repressing in general will lead to neurosis, from fetishes to raise requests. I don't quite understand what neurosis is, I answer with this line from the wiki in mind, "It has perhaps been most simply defined as a "poor ability to adapt to one's environment, an inability to change one's life patterns, and the inability to develop a richer, more complex, more satisfying personality.""
If I never explored BDSM, or fetishes more specifically, it would mean I'd not figured out how to communicate what I like either because I'm too dumb socially or too bashful. And being either of those things would affect my life negatively.
Open exploration has been very helpful in figuring out what I go for exactly and why. Also, I suppose it helps develops tact.
I realized it when I stumbled on a video trailer from a producer of the fetish specific material. The how is that I'd viewed it when I was around puberty age.
Getting over shame and finding a way to frame the fetish in a way that didn't make me feel overly odd led me to want to explore it.
How do you frame it now to negate the shame associated?
-
not so. freud was wrong. repressing fetishes does not lead to neurosis. being sexually repressed himself naturally he would think this.
my life would prettty much be the same without fetish exploration.
theraputic. it provides me with great fun!
i've had sadomasochistic fantasies since childhood.
the gratification it gave me. the ultimate feeling of gratification.
Hmm.. your answers seem contradictory.. Wouldn't therapy automatically imply one is being changed, or altered in some way?
-
Awesome response, thank you!I think you're totally right. Since I went too far in the extreme of what I'm calling self-suspicion, it's important for me to explore the other side and to learn, as I put it, to trust myself---BUT I have to take care to stay open to the possibility that, at any given moment, there may be deeper meanings to uncover, unconscious motivations, etc.
The comment I made about my "teachers" perhaps gives a sense of the sort of trauma/deprivation I experienced in childhood. There are surely still wounds yet to be healed! I've had much better teachers since way back when, thankfully, and I think I can add the Fortress to that list now.
I mentioned in another thread that I'm not particularly drawn to degradation, but submission. I never felt so free to submit as I did with Mistress Koi, because it never felt safe to in other contexts at other times. I'll of course have to come in for some more experiential research
but my strong suspicion is that this urge to submit is part-personality and part-personal history/trauma. Discerning between these two aspects will be helpful, though I suspect that the distinction will by necessity be somewhat arbitrary, and that they cannot be fully separated. It will be fun working through it all!Sadly I'm way on the west coast. I dont think I'll get to stop by until... January. Bah. Your presence on the forum has made me really excited to meet you. I've also told Mistress Kang that I will let her "break me in," as she put it, and I, of course, want to see Mistress Koi again, so now I'm thrilled and overwhelmed at the thought of having a session with all three of you!
Questionmarks- here could also be a reason why you've gravitated towards Mistress Koi. I think that submission is a choice, and the person you relinquish that control to can be very telling- of your past, your preferences, what you feel is powerful and beautiful, and many more unconscious motives.
A triple domme session sounds fantastic. Guess you'll have to make your way back over to this coast soon! Thanks for your thoughtful answers
x Fei
-
What do I think of this statement?
The first part of the statement, I'm in total agreement with. We're all as sick as our secrets, so when we repress an urge, in this case, fetishes,
it leads us to cover-up and hide who we really are, and this will cause us a great deal of anxiety (I can't let anyone know who I really am) and
over time, neuroses. I'm applying a simple dictionary definition of neuroses... "excessive, irrational anxiety and obsession which leads to an
interpersonal maladjustment." No human being is anxiety-free, as someone a lot smarter than me once said, "Anxiety is the fundamental mood
of existence." Yes, that's the difference between living things and inanimate objects. "I'm anxious, therefore I am." But one doesn't want to be
so overwhelmed with anxiety/neuroses that one can't function in society.
The second part of the statement, I agree with the part, "We can't repress that urge (fetish), and must acknowledge and confront it."
The more you're in touch with who you really are, the more content (I refuse to say happy) and, hopefully, the less neurotic you'll be.
But a neuroses-free life? Since you've just read it, I'm sure Freud said it, but in my readings of Freud (many moons ago) I remember him
saying that psychoanalysis couldn't "cure" anyone, but it could take someone who was "depressed to the point of suicide" and lift them up
to the level of the "general unhappiness" which is the human condition.
But we're talking about BDSM, and I'd be very neurotic if I didn't live-out my submissive urges, because I've always felt profoundly
inferior to women (probably because when a woman turns-me-on, she has incredible sexual/emotional power over me), and submitting
to that power is an absolute turn-on for me.
My exploration of BDSM is definitely therapeutic.
The last two questions... When did you first realize your urge and how? And what drove you to explore it? Well, I could write a very
detailed report on the evolution of my submissive tendencies, but it would be very long and this is not the place.
Perhaps, you'll make it my next homework assignment?
Interesting answers. Anxiety is also the shadow of intelligence, as well as the capacity to plan. I personally think anxiety is an indicator, a barometer, of where you are on your path of self actualization. Once you transform that into tranquility, that's when it can work for you, not against you.
-
What do you think about this statement?
I think it is true to a great degree; of course there is a small percentage that falls out of the reach of this statement.
What would your life be like if you did not explore bdsm?
I would harbor more frustration & angst resulting in more neurotic behavior.
What has your open exploration of bdsm done for you, is it helpful? Therapeutic? Not effective?
Honestly, I have yet to find out, but just the thought of having my first session with you seems to free me of a few psychological, even physical, burdens.
When did you first realize your urge and how?
Since I was a child. I was aware of the uncertainty of reality. This may seem vague and confusing, but I could almost sense who I was going to be as a child. It was probably the hardships growing up that promoted this awareness of being. The rough brush of harsh reality. I would kind of meander in and out of awareness. It never solidified also due to the financial instabilities, and the bombardment of poorly understood religious dogma; the unstable experiences has delayed my step into self-actualization.
What drove you to explore it?
My desire to understand who I could be.
Courtney- it sounds like you have a heavy pain-body from the past. But once you transform that pain into compassion, it will no doubt expedite your process towards self-actualization. The depth you feel that "normal" people may not have been subjected to only furthers your potential, only if you harness it correctly.
I see it as energy. The same as how love and hate are extremes of the same emotional impulse, the capacity to experience what you describe as a rough brush with harsh reality is the capacity to transform.
We can explore more of this in our session coming up soon and continue to work on this progress in your session in October.
x Fei
-
Very interesting request MFei. I will PM you. Do you have a Psych background?
Yes I do indeed!
-
Great questions, Mistress Fei! Sorry for the super long reply, I can't help myself
Thank you for the honest and deep insight. I expected long answers so no need to apologize- I thank you for your openness.
I understand what you mean by knowing when to check your impulse to dig too deep and other times knowing when to dig deeper. It is a fine balance. I used to overthink EVERYTHING to the point of damaging myself and relationships, then at times I didn't consider my actions at all and lived life carefree, unaware of unconscious meanings. Both mindsets have their pros and cons, and a healthy mixture of both adds to enjoyment and self actualization.
I'm glad you were able to find M. Koi, she is fantastic and beautiful and talented. Exploration is heightened with a connection, and it sounds like you found just that!
On a general note, I do think that sometimes our kinky impulses are hard wired. By being human, we already have these latent desires inside us that have no source from our upbringing. I think in cases of abuse or trauma, these can be expressed in kink to either repeat, or heal the trauma. However, I think that these two modes of exploration differ, perhaps subtly, in what they're achieving and which urges they're satisfying.
It would be really great to meet you the next time you stop in at the Fortress! Sounds like we have a lot to chat about
x Fei
-
Hi subs,
While reviewing some of Freud's cases this week, I couldn't help but get attached to a statement he made in his Dora case.
He says that fetishes, when repressed, lead to neurosis. To lead a neurosis free life, we can't repress that urge and must acknowledge, and confront it.
With that, I'd like to know your answers to the below:
What do you think about this statement?
What would your life be like if you did not explore bdsm?
What has your open exploration of bdsm done for you, is it helpful? Therapeutic? Not effective?
When did you first realize your urge and how?
What drove you to explore it?
I would like to know as much info as you are willing to provide. Feel free to PM me if you have that privilege and don't want to share answers publicly.
x Fei
-
Anubis,
At one point late in the session (I'm not sure I knew my name at that time), I referred to Mistress Fei only as "Mistress". She demanded,"What is my name? My FULL name...."
Yes I did indeed demand this! Glad to know you remembered
-
Hi WorldTraveler69!
I'm so happy you had a good time. Isn't it great that we both agreed on what we did during the 2nd half even though you hadn't mentioned that being an interest at all? Must've been something we picked up on unconsciously.
Thank you for the compliment and yes, you might have to try harder next time
x Fei
-
Mistress Fei, as well you should take that as a compliment. Re-reading your profile, "Relenting Control" is spot on! (how did I miss that the first time?) I am back to normal now, thank you for asking. But my mind is still wandering. Planning for the next session will include some tried and true activities, with a healthy mix of unchartered territory as well. Suggestions?
Ah, perhaps next time there can be 3 of us torturing you during one of your hours if you decide to do multi-hours again. Then it can be a lethal combination of hypnosis, methodicalness and UNRELENTING CONTROL!!!!!!
-
I'm not sure why, but I tend to name a lot of guys Steve. I've never session with you Mistress Fei, but every seems to rave on and on about you. I hope you'll toy with me and make me feel small someday.
Happy to make you feel small any day of the week
-
Mistress tran is unbelievable
Tell us more about your experience with her!
-
This might be a little strange, but who exactly is the little man in the cage in the Fortress? Does he have a name? wife? children? Or is he just a simple metaphor for every male sub caught in a cage of society? Also is it weird that I wanna take his place and be played with like a doll by a giant mistress?
For me, it serves as a reminder of how "small" the subs are compared to us Mistresses. Always a delight to see him as I walk down the hallway.
What would you name him, if you could name him?
-
When I arrived in NYC I had a message from Head Mistress Kang that there was a change in the schedule due to an unforeseen circumstance. Over a two hour period, she did way more than she needed to accommodate my one open evening. Simply awesome!
As to not share too many details of the schedule or evening, I’ll try one word summaries. Although brief, these are written as highest compliments. Mistress Lu seemed happy to find me in the proper position. She was…methodical. Mistress Tran, hypnotic. And Mistress Fei – sorry – Mistress Kelly Fei, well, she was…relentless. I walked out of the doors thinking this may be the last time I try this, but by the time I hit the hotel lobby, I was planning my next visit.
The following day, in grueling meetings, my nipples throbbed, my bottom was still warm and my thoughts wandered.
To those considering their first visit to the Fortress, all I can say is “Well, hell, son – what’re you waiting for?”
Ahaha relentless. I definitely take that as a compliment.
How are you feeling now? What things would you try in your next session, after this one?
-
Nice to meet you too, charliebrown
Such fun playing with you and glad we could make things work -
I'm extremely nervous. Always had this fetish, but never attempted to do anything like this before. I'd like to book a session, but I know a lot of dommes only do whipping/caning/etc.
I don't know if that's within the realm of possibility, and if not, I apologize. Even though I'm writing this anonymously, I'm still nervous just posting it.
Of course! We all enjoy it. Afterall, a face makes the most comfortable seat in the house
Freud
in Fortress Guest Forum
Posted
Hi Milkdud, your mention of power exchange and your experience at 18 are both very very interesting and instigates psychological probing. I'm interested to know more about your experiences especially after having met you and understand the complex approach you have towards bdsm where it's clearly both light yet deep. I'm really glad you were able to find an outlet and awakening of sorts through corporal, and even happier that you've found MZhao to continue your exploration. Hope to see you soon! Xo