Interesting question, I think we should all ask ourselves this from time to time. It can change for a person. So here are a few notes about me...
My partner choice until now has been women, and by "women" I mean women... I do not go around chasing 19-year-olds just so I can say I did it. Maturity is sexy! I sometimes fantasize and promise myself to become more hetero-flexible, but I somehow always end up staying with just the hetero for a little while longer.
As for the activities, I feel I am slowly (too slowly?) going toward the "pan-" approach. I try new things with new partners and almost always like it. Empathy toward your partner's fetishes is a powerful tool with which to build good sex and intimacy.
These two things, partner choice and activities - sometimes they mix... An activity can challenge gender roles. Strapons are one obvious (and fun!) way of doing it but I think femdom in general is a defiance of the old gender stereotypes. Many other little things, clothes, jewelry, way of speaking can help mix up gender stereotypes. And maybe by doing this in the bedroom, we can start getting rid of these stereotypes from society.
I like the idea of sapiosexuality... but in addition to being attracted to women's heads, I am also attracted to their hearts and it adds a lot to a woman if she also has a spine.
All of this is me as I am now. I promise to change in the future.