philosophicalsub
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Posts posted by philosophicalsub
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Good communication makes for good scenes. We subs have such a wide range of desires that a Mistress is not going to be able to figure out what you want from a scene without you telling her. Being open about what you’re looking for from a scene and what you think went wrong with your scenes in the past is probably your best bet. But sometimes when you’re timid, just being open can be hard. Something that helps me is asking permission before speaking (e.g. “would it be all right if I say what I think went wrong in the past…”). Helps me feel less like I’m being pushy and more like I’m being a good sub.
Also, try and keep in mind that your Mistress, in addition to being sexy and skilled, is also just a person. Listening to what they have to say, asking them how they’re doing, what sort of stuff they like, etc, will help to relax you and also help to get that communication going. Treating her desires as at least as important as yours will help her to have a good time, which in turn will help you to have a better, more relaxed time. My favorite scenes are the ones that felt like collaborations, where we took the time before the scene to figure out stuff we were both excited about.
Hope that helps. Best of luck!
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Thank you for continuing to share your art with us! I just love it.
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This is such a good and thought provoking question! I’m so sad I don’t really have much of a better answer than “when we both feel comfortable.” I think that feeling of comfort comes from the accumulation of so many small and ineffable things. I wish I had better insight into them all.
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On 8/22/2022 at 10:48 AM, Mistress Juno Sato said:
Well I think that’s point of art! You are free to see whatever you want in it — the animalistic nature of the painting was DEF inspired by our Mantis&butterfly RP, but it’s really meant to capture any and all related feelings, thoughts and experiences an audience can draw from their life. Violence, passion, water, life, death, intimacy, fluidity, power, exploration of the unknown, bravery, immobility and mobility, domination and submission, resistance and acceptance, octopus and a woman…
I definitely agree that one of the cooler parts of art is that it affects everybody differently. Still, even though I know that, part of me is afraid of getting it “wrong“ somehow.
Right or wrong, after some reflex, here’s how my brain makes sense of the picture: Because the female character is put in the foreground and the face of the background male is so still, it definitely feels like she is the more powerful of the two. But both of the characters feel a little restrained to me. They are literally entwined in each other, and even if she has more power, she isn’t completely free to do as she wants.
Which seems like an apt metaphor for d/s dynamics to me. The dominant does have all this apparent power, but they are restrained by their partner’s limits, their desire not to cause real harm, etc.
I don’t think I would have put it this way before thinking about the painting, but I find it very rewarding when I am able to loosen my dominant’s restraints a little. That is, allow them to feel comfortable indulging some desire they normally feel they have to hold back on for the sub’s sake.
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Congrats on taking the plunge! If you’re looking for more community, I’d strongly recommend attending a few munches (non sexual gatherings of kinky folks to meet and say hi; they tend to be very welcoming). Fetlife is a great way to find them.
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It’s really cool to see the painting evolving. I love that you take your experiences with us and use it to create more art.
Because I know it was inspired by our submission, I’m worried I’m seeing things that aren’t there. E.g. In the first version, I kept wanting to interpret her hand as mimicking a praying mantis claw, but after seeing the second version now I suspect that was just me projecting.
I’d love to hear what specifically inspired you. Tho I’d totally understand if as an artist (or a mistress) you’d rather just let the painting speak for itself.
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Congrats @Mistress Juno Sato on becoming a full player! It was a privilege (and just so much) fun participating in your training.
If you haven’t had a chance to play with her yet, Mistress Sato is fantastic. She delights in (and is quite good at) intimidating and menacing you so that you feel like her helpless victim in the best way. But behind that exterior, she is also super happy joking around and is clearly concerned with your safety and well-being. It ends up feeling almost sweet when she gets these looks of joy and delight on her face in the midst of something particularly sadistic.
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8 hours ago, Mistress Kang said:
Mistress Sato and Mistress Gong recently had their photo shoot.
That’s exciting. I got to play with these two at the beginning of their training, with Mistress Kang directing the proceedings. I recently played solo with Mistress Sato, and it was so cool to see her fully in control of her own scene, making her own intimidating decisions about what direction my torment would take. The photo shoot feels like making it official, that Mistresses Gong and Sato have arrived.
That, and I have this sneaking suspicion that the pictures will be super hot.
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16-26 was pretty amazing. Discovering I wasn’t the only one, and that these sweet and kind people I had been crushing on could also be genuinely sadistic was such a pleasant, giddy surprise. Plus, you know, youth.
The last couple of years have been filled with such exploration and an expansion of limits tho. It’s looking like the decade I’m in might surpass those early years. Here’s hoping, anyway.
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16 hours ago, Mistress Diana Gong said:
Thank you for being such an awesome test “froggy”! I had a lot of fun “dissecting” you . You helped me gain more insight on a lot of things from a subs point of view .
hope to see you again soon
So glad to hear I was a good test subject ??. Still have some of the marks you left, and think fondly of the session when I’m reminded they’re there.
Normally I’m the one getting pushed, but it was really cool to see you pushing yourself at the end of the session. I do hope that part was a positive experience for you. It felt really special to me.
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9 hours ago, Mistress Juno Sato said:
The best lesson I learned from my experiments today was that a philosophical subject is the best to torture and study! You maintained perfect sub // test subject manners while providing great jokes and helpful feedbacks (ofc, when you weren’t gagged ? and were able to talk when we allowed you to). I felt like my true evil scientist inner self came out and I thoroughly enjoyed all your sounds! I have some personal experimental plans that I want to execute once I’m done training, would love to see you for it if you are down to be my test froggie again …
Your words of praise mean so much. Thank you! I have just the stupidest grin on my face as I type this.
And OMG, I love your picture. I'm so glad you felt that moment was worth capturing.
It might be a while before I am able to do so, but I would love to do science with you again.
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Whoops. Looks like the end of the review didn't quite get posted. Here it is:
But of course, the suction on the nipples was to prepare for the true end of the session. ****** through my recently suctioned and oh so sensitive nipples. Boss Kang demonstrated with one on the areola, but told her assistants they should choose whether to follow her lead or go through the central ****** itself. M. Gong turned out to be a little squeamish about it and asked M. Sato to go first. I asked M. Sato whether it would be the areola or ***** itself. "Wait and find out," was the response. It was such an intense feeling as it went through, then traveled through the heart of the *****, only to pause briefly as it broke through the other side.
Then it was M. Gong's turn and for the first time I thought that it might be a little too much for the new domme. Boss Kang told her she didn't have to do it if she didn't want to. But like a true domme she insisted and overcame her hesitancy to make sure both my ****** were thoroughly and painfully penetrated.
What a fantastic opportunity to serve Boss Kang and the newest additions to the Fortress. I hope I was of good use. Apologies if I left any details out. I'm just no where near the scientist any of you three are. I should definitely stick to being your test subject.
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Thanks for the wishing of luck. I needed it.
Thank you so much @Mistress Kang @Mistress Juno Sato and @Mistress Diana Gong! What a pleasure to serve you three. I wouldn't have thought it was possible to joke around and laugh so much while being so thoroughly tortured.
The theme I had requested was that I would be a sub who had volunteered to help the new Mistresses try out and practice whatever skills they wanted. They decided to put an evil scientist twist on it. I would be their test animal, Boss Kang would be the experienced scientist, and Sato and Gong would both be her assistants, learning the ways of science from the experienced master. They arrived in lab coats to drive home the point. Mistress Sato looked very professional in her proper lab attire and (super cute) glasses. Mistress Gong had more of a "sexy lab assistant" look, lab coat unbuttoned and revealing, towering over me in her heals.
We were in the pink room, and after introductions they elected to tie me to the stripper pole. Well, by tie me to the stripper pole, I mean first they used saran wrap to mummify me to the pole, then because I was apparently still too mobile Boss Kang applied copious tight pink rope on top of it. Of course, they left my ass exposed. M. Sato and M. Gong took turns using various corporal implements on the bare area. They used floggers, paddles, crops, and at least 3 different canes. They asked what effects each one had on me. Such good science they were conducting!
Still attached to the pole, they put an electrical *******. I believe M. Gong asked if they should use any lube, but Boss Kang said there was plenty of *****. Then they hooked the probe up to a box with a crank. Every turn generated electricity. The faster the crank turned, the more intense sensations ******. M. Sato seemed like she really enjoyed the sounds I made. She said she wanted to make me at least call out a safeword of yellow. Sadly, that experiment failed to elicit a safeword as before I absolutely had to cry out, she turned the crank so fiercely that the handle came off. Fortunately, Boss Kang was able to reattach it so that M. Gong could have her turn. She also seemed like she enjoyed my sounds.
After untying me (and then unmummifying me) from the stripper pole, they blindfolded me and had me kneel on the ground to practice some rope ties. Because it was hard for all three to participate in the tie, they also experimented with a bunch of different nipple clamps. Clearly their dedication to science was strong. I thought that perhaps M. Sato was the more sadistic with the nipple clamps when after she placed a pair on me only to unceremoniously rip it off not even a minute later. M. Gong seemed seemed so much gentler as she took such care adjusting a different set to just the right tightness. Then she adjusted them a lot tighter. Then she applied these claw like needle clamps that Boss Kang mentioned would probably make my nipples bleed were they left on too long. So, the two seemed pretty evenly matched in terms nipple clamp sadism, really.
Nearing the end of the session they tied me onto the bondage table. Boss Kang tied my fingers back in this cool claw like position. M. Sato and M. Gong observed that I could struggle and squirm but not really protect myself at all. Then Boss Kang demonstrated how to apply suction cups to my nipples and then had M. Gong and M. Sato to take turns practicing. Then they suctioned my cock, which was a new experience for me. When the suction cups were removed Boss Kang made sure her assistants examined the areas to observe how much more sensitive they had become. More science!
But of course, the suction on the nipples was only to help prepare for the true end of the session....
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I have to say, it is oddly sweet to hear jp20 reminisce about all the fucked up things Mistress Kang has done to him.
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I’ve never been, but I did meet an older domme at a CFNM event who talked about domming there. She was definitely bragging, like she knew it was a rare thing that most of the rest of us probably wouldn’t get to experience. She also talked about filming a video there where she tortured the slave enough that she made the cameraman pass out.
I too, totally poured over the OWK website back in the day. I really don’t remember too many mentions of consent or safe words in their literature. The idea of a place where so many people have such total authority over me totally pushes all my fantasy buttons. But my experience of consensual non consent is that it takes a ton of communication and trust to do in a healthy way. It feels like such a personal thing. I have a hard time imagining it actually working on such a large scale, even if part of me wishes it could.
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So, first some caveats: flrs and master/slave dynamics come in all shapes and sizes, I don’t have nearly as much experience with them as I’d like, never take anything a random dude on a forum tells you as gospel, etc.
But, i do have some experience and I’ve talked to a lot of people in these sorts of dynamics. And in general, the vast majority of the control that your domme wields over you doesn’t happen in a super sexy BDSM scene sort of a way. Most of it is the more mundane, “this is a chore that needs to get done” sort of stuff. The sexy BDSM stuff happens too, but most of any relationship happens outside of the bedroom. And while most masters have fun correcting some of their slaves shortcomings, it’s really hard for a dynamic to survive if the sub isn’t taking their responsibilities seriously. And it’s really hard to take those responsibilities seriously for any period of time if you don’t find something appealing about them in and of themselves.
So, what I would say is that if the thought of service to her and feeling her control over you, even in more mundane activities, sounds deeply fulfilling (it really can be!), then you should totally work to pursue an flr. Educating yourself on what you might expect from one (e.g. use google, read books [1], attend MAsT meetings [2], etc. ) will both serve you well and help demonstrate to a potential domme that you are serious.
If, on the other hand, chores sound like something you would have to tolerate in order to get to the fun sexy BDSM bits, I wouldn’t recommend advertising yourself as looking for an flr. You probably wouldn’t be able to tolerate it for as long as you think, and it would end up being a frustrating experience for both of you. There are definitely dommes and switches out there who primarily want play partners and not slaves. You would probably have a better experience trying to find one of those.
[1] I’d recommend “Dear Raven and Joshua” as an introduction and “Slavecraft” as a follow up. Just don’t be put off that they are mostly about gay couples. The master slave stuff applies to everyone ?.
[2] MAsT stands for masters and slaves together and is a support/discussion group for people in these sorts of relationships. It’s mostly Male Dom / female sub, but again, the master/slave stuff applies to everyone. Since Covid, a lot of local groups have been holding their meetings over zoom. The easiest way to find them is on fetlife.
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Welcome back @Mistress Alexia Zito! So wonderful seeing you again. I’m still bathing in post session afterglow.
For anyone who hasn’t experienced her before, she is ridiculously skilled at pushing all the right buttons at just the right amounts. She is both empathetic and sadistic and always seems to know which one to be. Of course, just like with any top, the more you are able to communicate, the more she has to work with and the better the sessions get. I have never regretted exposing any vulnerability to her. I highly recommend setting aside plenty of time to negotiate/discuss before the sessions. Whatever time it takes away from the play, it more than makes up for it in the quality of the play you get.
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12 hours ago, KitsuneNoYume said:
Happppy Halloween!!
For Halloween this year, Deviless Jung freed me from being a repressed angel into her cute and depraved demon pet. ^__^
Or, as my doorman said when I got back to my apartment, I looked like “a horny devil”! ? I think he thought I was cute !! ?
Sounds like a fun scene. Kind of adorable really. Don’t suppose there is a picture that could serve as inspiration for other subs?
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I feel like it’s not the mistresses who ought to feel pressure to behave.
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22 hours ago, franknot said:
And oddly, as i think about this now, part of my real self may be looking forward to being degraded to the point of slavery and made to address my dominate as my "Mistress".
While in therapy i learned that i've been emotionally barren for quite some time now, so i feel that maybe the experience of being "emotionally broken" should outweigh the need for some dignity.
Feeling even a somewhat negative emotion seems better than having no emotional stimulation at all.
Interesting. I guess that means being “degraded“ to the point of slavery would be a negative emotion for you, then?
For me, I am willing to put up with some pretty negative things in sessions, but only in the service of things I consider very positive. In my ongoing role play with mistress Zito, my character is not at all happy with his “forced“ submission. But personally I couldn’t be more thrilled to be surrendering my control so completely to her. if there is something that I straight up don’t like in one of our sessions, that particular dislike is more than offset by the feeling of her control and power over me to make me do this particular unpleasant activity.
is this a case of you want to feel something, anything, even if it’s bad? Or is there something in particular about ”being degraded to the point of slavery” that truly does appeal to you, even if there are one or two negatives that go along with it?
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11 minutes ago, franknot said:
Conversely, this morning *philosophicalsub* posted an inspiring and vivid picture of a thoroughly broken, pathetic slave, one that i would love to someday experience.
My problem may be that i don't know what it is to be "broken" ... or where the pieces will fall.Thanks for the kind words. For me, an easy way to reserve a bit of dignity for your real life is to only really give up your dignity in a role-play. that way you can always tell yourself that it’s just your character who is being degraded.
As for being broken, the way I experienced that was to resist until I couldn’t anymore. If I gave in too soon (and I did a few times) I could just tell myself that I was still in control. It’s definitely edge play, and definitely has risks, but I think it’s possible to start with small things. i’m sure there are other ways to experience it, but that’s the only one I can think of that would work for me.
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On 11/27/2019 at 4:15 AM, ConsentOptional said:
Given the kind of sessions I like to explore (roleplays with a nonconsensual undertone - or overtone), it's probably counter-intuitive that I always ask to include foot massage. But it's a great way to take a pause in what can be a psychologically overwhelming session without completely breaking role; speak softly for a few minutes, discuss where things are, ask/answer any questions, etc. It also centers me. Very right-brained activity to try to move pleasure from your hands to someone's feet to their temporal lobes. It's more like playing an instrument; very intuitive.
On 11/26/2019 at 2:10 PM, Mistress Alexia Zito said:Have you ever indulged your mistress in a fetish you didn't share at the time?
The overarching theme of my play with Mistress Zito has been to be pushed to do things that were limits for me. I really love her forcing me passed where I would naturally go, though it is often on the verge of being completely overwhelming. Worshiping her feet has been an unexpected joy in the midst of that.
I don’t have a foot fetish, but giving a foot rub is never something I would have described as a limit. So given that it’s neither something I am naturally drawn to, nor something I need to be coerced into, it never had any place in my fantasies, nor would I ever have occurred to me to request it. But as you say so well, CO, it can truly ground me in the midst of an intense session.
It shouldn’t surprise me so much, how much I’ve enjoyed it, since I have always loved giving my mistresses pleasure. But few ways feel quite as submissive, nor seem to elevate the mistress more highly.Thank you so much, Mistress Zito, for introducing me to it.
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1 hour ago, Mistress Zora Jin said:
I love reading this thread lol it seems that some of you guys can be easily lead (mislead) into all kinds of trouble when we give you a little bit of motivation.
Indeed. I can’t speak for all subs, but at least for me it is a huge turn on for a Mistress to choose an activity that I didn’t, or wouldn’t have suggested myself. I love knowing that I am fulfilling her desire instead of having a nagging doubt that she is merely humoring mine.
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On 11/18/2019 at 7:28 AM, ConsentOptional said:
But soft limits are the playground of the nonconsensualist. A combination of reasons 2, 3, and 4 above have done in the listed soft limits. They are not suddenly "easy" and I sometimes still dread them. But they are psychologically important. And the dominatrix, who better understands the Bardo between what you want and what you need than you do, is aware.
I really like how you articulated this.
I have recently been exploring pushing my soft limits (or rather, having them forcibly expanded). It’s still very new to me. As you say, having the limits pushed feels important, somehow. The more difficult it was to have been pushed, the more meaningful the memory feels to me, and the more glad I am to have experienced it. Even if I was quite the opposite of glad at the time.
Gamers at the fortress ?
in Fortress Guest Forum
Posted
Brilliant!
Although it’s kind of a no-win situation for the top. Either your sub is doing a bad job or you’re losing the game.
As a top, I’ve distracted a sub in a similar way while she was playing a survival game. Spoiler alert: she didn’t.