Magic Moments

[ConsentOptional]

There are certain moments in a scene when I can almost feel the key plunging into the lock on my submission.  Could be an expression, could be a gesture.  But the world just stops.  These are a some of mine.  What are yours?

Mistresses, what do we do (or should we do) to create a moment for you?  Could be words you say; could be words you want to hear from us.  Could be the way we say them.  They way we conduct ourselves or made ourselves ready to receive what you want us to take.  Or the moment we break.  But what tells you that moment has arrived?

"Get on your knees, put your hands behind your back."  Or whatever position you like to begin with.  It's not a "request."  It's that first clear signal that we have exited the world in which I had rights or was anyone's equal.  I also love the idea of a pre-existing protocol.  That I am to be positioned in a certain way, dressed a certain way, plugged, collared, gagged, etc... before you even walk through the door.

"Eyes on the floor."  You are a Goddess.  A stone cold, traffic stopping, "I already wish I scheduled a longer session" Goddess.  And wearing that dress...  It's a miracle of civilization that I am even in this room with you and breathing the same air.  When you guide my eyes to the floor, you are asking me to pause and recognize those facts and my extreme good fortune.  One does not stare at a Goddess.  One seeks permission to look.  You will tell me when I can.

"Did I say you could....?"  Any frightening rhetorical question.  Instant recognition that, no matter what it is, if you didn't say I could, then I can't.  It could be reasonable or arbitrary.  "...look at me?"  "...get aroused?"  "...have genital hair?"  And a favorite in an extended session.  "...leave?"  Letting one think they can go home only to mind-fuck them, then dragging them back to their new reality.

"No one knows where you are and no one will find you."  Providing non-consensual scene clarity.  In other words, do as you're told.  Don't hope we will stop.  Accept your fate and blindly follow.

"Your safeword is 'whatever pleases you, Goddess'."  Also known as "this will continue until I am satisfied."

An intimate pause.  During flogging or some other act of endurance.  It doesn't mean it's over.  It probably isn't.  It will continue until you are satisfied.  But you let me rest my head against your boot or a moment.  You smooth your hand over the places you have marked me.  You can see that I have crashed through the first level.  Not broken yet, but will get there.  And it pleases you.

"Slave."    A slave is not the lowest of all beings.  Because the slave is worth owning.  And to be the slave of a Goddess is an aspiration, not place to which one falls.  Understood this way, it's both a statement of the highest point you will ever reach on Her hierarchy.  And a compliment..

"Bitch."  Owned in a different way.  Incapable of resisting you physically or psychologically.  I like "slut".  But it's different.  Yes, I'm a slut.  But I was a slut before we ever met.  Bitch is something you make of me.  Or take from me.

Cool thighs against my ass.  I'll bet that's self explanatory.  You might say, "I own you now, bitch."  Or let your thighs say it.  Or the 3 of you can say it in harmony...

A hard slap followed by a caress.  Gear stripping.  I don't like anger based sessions.  A slap is such a wonderful imperious gesture.  Almost lost to the modern world when you think of it.  It says, "there is nothing that will ever make up the distance between your place in this world and Mine."  Following it with a caress of the reddened cheek is a juicy mind-fuck.  It also says that you are in control of your emotions.  But that you require and will have my total submission.  Because no one knows where I am, and no one will find me...

"I'm not interested in male slaves.  Oh did you think that meant you?  How cute!"  Arbitrary, "because I said so" feminization.  In this case, if you were laboring under the misconception that your drivers license gender was relevant, think again.  Or, better yet, stop thinking.  You're not good at it.  Not in this room anyway.

"If you release I will make you eat every drop."  Click.  A buzzing noise starts.  But Goddess, how can I possibly not.... Oh.  That was the point.  I am so completely your bitch that this warning of a very deep pending humiliation does me no good.  If I was anything but a total slut, that warning would save me and help me hold back.  But no.  Dinner is served....

Exit protocols.  Kissing your ass, foot, hand, riding crop, the floor you walk on.  Whatever it is.  But some sort of ritual at the end that pairs off with the ritual at the beginning.  This was hard, Goddess.  I don't need to pretend nothing happened.  I don't want to either.

Leaving trashed.  Any or all of these.  Still gagged, still plugged, locked in chastity, covered in piss and not allowed to shower, choice words written all over me  with a sharpee, still dressed as s (soaked) tart under my street clothes.  The message: "Your session is over, your submission to me is not.  It goes on beyond these walls.  It will be with you on the train, when you get home, when you turn your phone back on and check your messages.  You now have something that all the people you pass in the street do not have.  But you have also lost something.  Forever.  Things have changed.  Slave."

 

 

[kevybaby]

It makes me feel jealous and comforted at the same time when I read posts like this - that other people have these same feelings I do. 

I'm not totally on board with all of the feelings you described but with a lot of them I can deeply relate. I need to try consensual non-consent in a session, I guess that's your biggest thing? My fear is that with me lacking a safeword they'd go easy and it would be basically just a mild session with no safeword, instead of the terrifyingly intense session that pushes me further than I've ever gone because I have no choice but to keep going that I'd fantasize about. 

[kevybaby]

On 11/16/2018 at 8:36 AM, ConsentOptional said:

  It will be with you on the train, when you get home, when you turn your phone back on and check your messages. You now have something that all the people you pass in the street do not have.  But you have also lost something.  Forever. Things have changed. 

 

 

I always wonder if sessioning changes you. I tend to think it's changed me but I also want to believe that. I think it's basically extremely rapid therapy - and just like therapy has it's limits to the change it can create in you, this too has limits. But it gets you to those limits faster if you let it, and maybe even pushes those limits a little further. As for what you lose, I think I've lost any sense of dignity or self-respect or confidence. Or maybe sessioning has shown me how fake my beliefs in any of those things were, at least for myself but probably for every single person who's ever lived. I just get to feel that honesty of life. And I lose any kind of balls to talk to girls but hey I've never really had much of that to begin with and I'm getting actual therapy now which will of course do very little if anything. You write well man.

[ConsentOptional]

13 hours ago, kevybaby said:

I always wonder if sessioning changes you. I tend to think it's changed me but I also want to believe that. I think it's basically extremely rapid therapy - and just like therapy has it's limits to the change it can create in you, this too has limits. But it gets you to those limits faster if you let it, and maybe even pushes those limits a little further. As for what you lose, I think I've lost any sense of dignity or self-respect or confidence. Or maybe sessioning has shown me how fake my beliefs in any of those things were, at least for myself but probably for every single person who's ever lived. I just get to feel that honesty of life. And I lose any kind of balls to talk to girls but hey I've never really had much of that to begin with and I'm getting actual therapy now which will of course do very little if anything. You write well man.

We (who walk through these particular doors) don't lose our "innocence".  It might be fun to play with that idea, but that's not really what's at stake.  We lose an avenue of denial.  We must face facts about ourselves that others can bury in work, compartmentalization, other jedi mind tricks.  We can't. I ask someone to whip me and, when I'm maxed out, I ask them to stop.  Ostensibly anyway; not quite so literally as that.  I admit that I need it and am eternally grateful that someone understands and doesn't judge me for it.  I'm as connected to that person, more so in fact, than women I've had sex with.  I think that's why I'm enthralled with the idea of kissing the punishing hand.  Because it preserves the intimacy of something no one else would take to be intimate.  Except us folks.

The experience is also the end of any hope of binary sexuality.  We have to acknowledge that we are someplace on a continuum that includes everyone from the straightest to the gayest.  We don't have the luxury of judging consensual sexuality.  I refer to things that don't interest me as "unerotic."  That's the best I can do.  I only know they don't appeal to me.  Or don't appeal to me yet.  I also don't the luxury of believing they never will. 

But in exchange for all that, you get humility, self-awareness, maybe some kindness and empathy.  As far as romance goes, submissives are more attentive lovers.  Our little advantage.  We're used to listening with multiple senses and seeking the satisfaction of another first.  It might not be the first thing that occurs to you when you're rubbing your ass and saying "man, that girl hits hard."  But it happens to be true.  Use it.

[ConsentOptional]

15 hours ago, kevybaby said:

It makes me feel jealous and comforted at the same time when I read posts like this - that other people have these same feelings I do. 

I'm not totally on board with all of the feelings you described but with a lot of them I can deeply relate. I need to try consensual non-consent in a session, I guess that's your biggest thing? My fear is that with me lacking a safeword they'd go easy and it would be basically just a mild session with no safeword, instead of the terrifyingly intense session that pushes me further than I've ever gone because I have no choice but to keep going that I'd fantasize about. 

The paradox of C/NC sessions is that they are extensively negotiated.  It’s not munching on a foot for a half hour after all.*  And no matter how nicely you ask, no one will actually become a heartless sociopath for you.  They’ll remain concerned for you and your well-being.  They’re just mean that way....

But you can still have your shell cracked, and that’s what C/NC is about.  Not necessarily screaming, begging, sobbing and 50 more strokes than you can possibly handle.  It’s breaking through to your essential submissive self and not letting you stop before you get there.

in terms of pain, I guarantee you everyone here knows how to find your wall and then go slightly or more than slightly past it.  If that’s what you want.  But think a little about the psychological state you want to explore.  Because the rest is details.

You strike me as someone who is entitled to more confidence than he allows himself.  Maybe even revel in it.  So you might look there.

Either way start with listing your hard limits.  What is absolutely off the table.  Both physically and psychologically.  In order for the session to flow without interruption - ie, without breaking the spell - she needs to know that stuff.

Then list your soft limits.  Sustainable physically and psychologically, but you would rather not.  Maybe it’s drinking piss out of a dog dish with your hands cuffed to your balls.  Maybe being significantly marked.  Maybe forced femme, Carolynbaby?  Even foot worship* (mentioned above) could be a c/Nc activity if you really don’t like it but have not intense revulsion toward it.

Spend some time on this list because it’s probably your c/nc sweet spot.  You already admitted you can handle ithis stuff, you just don’t wanna.  Familiarize yourself with the expression, “Just fucking do it, ya little bitch.”  You’ll be hearing it quite often.

Then after the session go home and check your list and see which you were right about (disliking), which you weren’t, and which you were BOTH right about (disliking) but found it hot to be forced into.  Rinse and repeat.

 

[franknot]

On 11/20/2018 at 5:48 AM, ConsentOptional said:

We (who walk through these particular doors) don't lose our "innocence".  It might be fun to play with that idea, but that's not really what's at stake.  We lose an avenue of denial.  We must face facts about ourselves that others can bury in work, compartmentalization, other jedi mind tricks.  We can't. I ask someone to whip me and, when I'm maxed out, I ask them to stop.  Ostensibly anyway; not quite so literally as that.  I admit that I need it and am eternally grateful that someone understands and doesn't judge me for it.  I'm as connected to that person, more so in fact, than women I've had sex with.  I think that's why I'm enthralled with the idea of kissing the punishing hand.  Because it preserves the intimacy of something no one else would take to be intimate.  Except us folks.

The experience is also the end of any hope of binary sexuality.  We have to acknowledge that we are someplace on a continuum that includes everyone from the straightest to the gayest.  We don't have the luxury of judging consensual sexuality.  I refer to things that don't interest me as "unerotic."  That's the best I can do.  I only know they don't appeal to me.  Or don't appeal to me yet.  I also don't the luxury of believing they never will. 

But in exchange for all that, you get humility, self-awareness, maybe some kindness and empathy.  As far as romance goes, submissives are more attentive lovers.  Our little advantage.  We're used to listening with multiple senses and seeking the satisfaction of another first.  It might not be the first thing that occurs to you when you're rubbing your ass and saying "man, that girl hits hard."  But it happens to be true.  Use it.

Hey CO, 

You are one deeep M/F'er.

Thanks for the this topic and the dialogue that it inspired between you  and keveybaby,

By following along with you two, and the Q&A's that developed here .. (along with some of your other posts) ..i've learned more about myself, and my submissive personality than i could have ever hoped to understand on my own.

You are effortlessly able to articulate and clarify many of the random thoughts and questions that are buzzing around in my empty head.

On 11/19/2018 at 3:56 PM, kevybaby said:

I always wonder if sessioning changes you. I tend to think it's changed me but I also want to believe that. I think it's basically extremely rapid therapy - and just like therapy has it's limits to the change it can create in you, this too has limits. But it gets you to those limits faster if you let it, and maybe even pushes those limits a little further. As for what you lose, I think I've lost any sense of dignity or self-respect or confidence. Or maybe sessioning has shown me how fake my beliefs in any of those things were, at least for myself but probably for every single person who's ever lived. I just get to feel that honesty of life. And I lose any kind of balls to talk to girls but hey I've never really had much of that to begin with and I'm getting actual therapy now which will of course do very little if anything. You write well man.

That you would take the time to share your knowledge, insights and more importantly your actual experiences with a novice who's just trying to feel his way through this maze is beyond generous.

The forum is a strange place,  ... in that the usual testosterone fueled, ass-holey-ness and competition has not infected the community.. the guys actually try to help each other find their way,

It's been just about a month since my first session and i realized quickly that I'm hopelessly lacking in my understanding of the Fortress and the complexities of submissive behavior.   While trying to organize my next visit the question of if negotiation was on my mind.. i didn't know if such a thing was possible.. while at the same time i knew that there must be some kind of invisible line in place that would keep me safe. 

On 11/20/2018 at 7:35 AM, ConsentOptional said:

The paradox of C/NC sessions is that they are extensively negotiated.  It’s not munching on a foot for a half hour after all.*  And no matter how nicely you ask, no one will actually become a heartless sociopath for you.  They’ll remain concerned for you and your well-being.  They’re just mean that way....

Thanks to you i now have a better sense of things.

Enjoy your holiday !

[lexi]

On Friday, November 16, 2018 at 8:36 AM, ConsentOptional said:

There are certain moments in a scene when I can almost feel the key plunging into the lock on my submission.  Could be an expression, could be a gesture.  But the world just stops.  These are a some of mine.  What are yours?

Mistresses, what do we do (or should we do) to create a moment for you?  Could be words you say; could be words you want to hear from us.  Could be the way we say them.  They way we conduct ourselves or made ourselves ready to receive what you want us to take.  Or the moment we break.  But what tells you that moment has arrived?

"Get on your knees, put your hands behind your back."  Or whatever position you like to begin with.  It's not a "request."  It's that first clear signal that we have exited the world in which I had rights or was anyone's equal.  I also love the idea of a pre-existing protocol.  That I am to be positioned in a certain way, dressed a certain way, plugged, collared, gagged, etc... before you even walk through the door.

"Eyes on the floor."  You are a Goddess.  A stone cold, traffic stopping, "I already wish I scheduled a longer session" Goddess.  And wearing that dress...  It's a miracle of civilization that I am even in this room with you and breathing the same air.  When you guide my eyes to the floor, you are asking me to pause and recognize those facts and my extreme good fortune.  One does not stare at a Goddess.  One seeks permission to look.  You will tell me when I can.

"Did I say you could....?"  Any frightening rhetorical question.  Instant recognition that, no matter what it is, if you didn't say I could, then I can't.  It could be reasonable or arbitrary.  "...look at me?"  "...get aroused?"  "...have genital hair?"  And a favorite in an extended session.  "...leave?"  Letting one think they can go home only to mind-fuck them, then dragging them back to their new reality.

"No one knows where you are and no one will find you."  Providing non-consensual scene clarity.  In other words, do as you're told.  Don't hope we will stop.  Accept your fate and blindly follow.

"Your safeword is 'whatever pleases you, Goddess'."  Also known as "this will continue until I am satisfied."

An intimate pause.  During flogging or some other act of endurance.  It doesn't mean it's over.  It probably isn't.  It will continue until you are satisfied.  But you let me rest my head against your boot or a moment.  You smooth your hand over the places you have marked me.  You can see that I have crashed through the first level.  Not broken yet, but will get there.  And it pleases you.

"Slave."    A slave is not the lowest of all beings.  Because the slave is worth owning.  And to be the slave of a Goddess is an aspiration, not place to which one falls.  Understood this way, it's both a statement of the highest point you will ever reach on Her hierarchy.  And a compliment..

"Bitch."  Owned in a different way.  Incapable of resisting you physically or psychologically.  I like "slut".  But it's different.  Yes, I'm a slut.  But I was a slut before we ever met.  Bitch is something you make of me.  Or take from me.

Cool thighs against my ass.  I'll bet that's self explanatory.  You might say, "I own you now, bitch."  Or let your thighs say it.  Or the 3 of you can say it in harmony...

A hard slap followed by a caress.  Gear stripping.  I don't like anger based sessions.  A slap is such a wonderful imperious gesture.  Almost lost to the modern world when you think of it.  It says, "there is nothing that will ever make up the distance between your place in this world and Mine."  Following it with a caress of the reddened cheek is a juicy mind-fuck.  It also says that you are in control of your emotions.  But that you require and will have my total submission.  Because no one knows where I am, and no one will find me...

"I'm not interested in male slaves.  Oh did you think that meant you?  How cute!"  Arbitrary, "because I said so" feminization.  In this case, if you were laboring under the misconception that your drivers license gender was relevant, think again.  Or, better yet, stop thinking.  You're not good at it.  Not in this room anyway.

"If you release I will make you eat every drop."  Click.  A buzzing noise starts.  But Goddess, how can I possibly not.... Oh.  That was the point.  I am so completely your bitch that this warning of a very deep pending humiliation does me no good.  If I was anything but a total slut, that warning would save me and help me hold back.  But no.  Dinner is served....

Exit protocols.  Kissing your ass, foot, hand, riding crop, the floor you walk on.  Whatever it is.  But some sort of ritual at the end that pairs off with the ritual at the beginning.  This was hard, Goddess.  I don't need to pretend nothing happened.  I don't want to either.

Leaving trashed.  Any or all of these.  Still gagged, still plugged, locked in chastity, covered in piss and not allowed to shower, choice words written all over me  with a sharpee, still dressed as s (soaked) tart under my street clothes.  The message: "Your session is over, your submission to me is not.  It goes on beyond these walls.  It will be with you on the train, when you get home, when you turn your phone back on and check your messages.  You now have something that all the people you pass in the street do not have.  But you have also lost something.  Forever.  Things have changed.  Slave."

 

 

I love this....im seeking something permanent...full time chastity...and complete submission...i love the idea...i want to become a sissy slave in chastity...all the time...i want to love my servitude and