Origin story

[Mistress Ava Hadid]

I often ask subs about their first BDSM experience or how they knew being dominated was their deepest desire… and I am always intrigued by the stories!

I knew I was dominant, creative, and slightly sadistic from a young age but I didn’t know how special and rewarding engaging in a Dom sub dynamic was until much later. In fact, it never really crossed my mind as something to engage in and was resting beneath the surface. Looking back the behaviors all came so naturally to me. I see how in most of my relationships with men they have existed. I have always expected to be treated like a goddess and confidently have taken up a lot of space, demanding my desires be met. I now know that I’m VERY sadistic and enjoy the psychological torment and discipline aspects of domination the most. It’s a wonderful journey and its only just begun! 

What is your origin story?  

[bobbi jo]

So my best friend in my pre teen years was a neighbor girl. She always wanted to play dolls. I always resisted, but she would promise not to tell anyone. I always gave in, and like lucy holding the football for Charlie brown, she always told. It's just been recently that I've recognized the influence of this on my submissive desires.

[NYC Sissy]

2 hours ago, Mistress Ava Hadid said:

I often ask subs about their first BDSM experience or how they knew being dominated was their deepest desire… and I am always intrigued by the stories!

I knew I was dominant, creative, and slightly sadistic from a young age but I didn’t know how special and rewarding engaging in a Dom sub dynamic was until much later. In fact, it never really crossed my mind as something to engage in and was resting beneath the surface. Looking back the behaviors all came so naturally to me. I see how in most of my relationships with men they have existed. I have always expected to be treated like a goddess and confidently have taken up a lot of space, demanding my desires be met. I now know that I’m VERY sadistic and enjoy the psychological torment and discipline aspects of domination the most. It’s a wonderful journey and its only just begun! 

What is your origin story?  

 

I remember being a kid and watching WWE, and the Divas at the time such as Torrie Wilson, Stacy Keibler etc. they were beautiful and would often come to the ring scantily dressed. They have matches where the would be stripped to their undies and in some cases spanked. 
 

and I remember feeling like what if Torrie Wilson stripped and spanked me??  What if she dressed me up just like her

 

years later Candice Michelle started performing and that was it, now that I saw the brunette I saw myself acting like Candice Michelle alone with my thoughts, visualizing her “spank me” schoolgirl outfit, to various other outfits 

 

and then I realized there were women out there who would allow me to be a sissy version of Candice. And sure enough rest is history….

[Barb85]

Around 11yrs old or so I had a dream I was naked and tied in a medical room whilst women stood around me and used me for experiments. It was obviously very basic and simple as knew nothing at that age but the memory stayed with me and as I entered teenage years and saw more in media about similar things it keep growing until I finally discovered via TV and films in my mid teens there was a full, thriving and vibrant kink scene. Finally dabbled for real at 20 at a munch, then a play club and have been in and around it to various degrees and intensity ever since

[NYC Sissy]

6 hours ago, NYC Sissy said:

 

I remember being a kid and watching WWE, and the Divas at the time such as Torrie Wilson, Stacy Keibler etc. they were beautiful and would often come to the ring scantily dressed. They have matches where the would be stripped to their undies and in some cases spanked. 
 

and I remember feeling like what if Torrie Wilson stripped and spanked me??  What if she dressed me up just like her

 

years later Candice Michelle started performing and that was it, now that I saw the brunette I saw myself acting like Candice Michelle alone with my thoughts, visualizing her “spank me” schoolgirl outfit, to various other outfits 

 

and then I realized there were women out there who would allow me to be a sissy version of Candice. And sure enough rest is history….

the music also helped haha, playlist for Friday 🤔???

 

 

 

[slave mark]

When I was growing up, I liked shows with powerful women, like Xena. I also would stare at girls' feet when they wore flip flops, or changed shoes. One day, I saw the word "masochist" in a book, and typed it into a search engine to look it up...and what I saw clicked. 

[Mistress Ava Hadid]

On 6/19/2024 at 5:51 PM, bobbi jo said:

So my best friend in my pre teen years was a neighbor girl. She always wanted to play dolls. I always resisted, but she would promise not to tell anyone. I always gave in, and like lucy holding the football for Charlie brown, she always told. It's just been recently that I've recognized the influence of this on my submissive desires.

Wow!! So willing and eager to please over and over even though you would be humiliated every time… 

[Mistress Ava Hadid]

On 6/19/2024 at 6:01 PM, NYC Sissy said:

 

I remember being a kid and watching WWE, and the Divas at the time such as Torrie Wilson, Stacy Keibler etc. they were beautiful and would often come to the ring scantily dressed. They have matches where the would be stripped to their undies and in some cases spanked. 
 

and I remember feeling like what if Torrie Wilson stripped and spanked me??  What if she dressed me up just like her

 

years later Candice Michelle started performing and that was it, now that I saw the brunette I saw myself acting like Candice Michelle alone with my thoughts, visualizing her “spank me” schoolgirl outfit, to various other outfits 

 

and then I realized there were women out there who would allow me to be a sissy version of Candice. And sure enough rest is history….

OH WOW! This gives an entirely new context to yesterday’s session. You are definitely a WWE diva but perhaps a little shy?? ✨✨✨

[Mistress Ava Hadid]

On 6/19/2024 at 7:47 PM, Barb85 said:

Around 11yrs old or so I had a dream I was naked and tied in a medical room whilst women stood around me and used me for experiments. It was obviously very basic and simple as knew nothing at that age but the memory stayed with me and as I entered teenage years and saw more in media about similar things it keep growing until I finally discovered via TV and films in my mid teens there was a full, thriving and vibrant kink scene. Finally dabbled for real at 20 at a munch, then a play club and have been in and around it to various degrees and intensity ever since

The unconscious mind eventually catches up to us. I think it’s a matter of whether or not we indulge ourselves and clearly you have! I think that’s fantastic. So many people are ashamed of their desires and then they act out in bizarre ways in the world instead of safely being able to explore them in a safe setting. 

[need to serve]

On 6/19/2024 at 3:13 PM, Mistress Ava Hadid said:

I often ask subs about their first BDSM experience or how they knew being dominated was their deepest desire… and I am always intrigued by the stories!

I knew I was dominant, creative, and slightly sadistic from a young age but I didn’t know how special and rewarding engaging in a Dom sub dynamic was until much later. In fact, it never really crossed my mind as something to engage in and was resting beneath the surface. Looking back the behaviors all came so naturally to me. I see how in most of my relationships with men they have existed. I have always expected to be treated like a goddess and confidently have taken up a lot of space, demanding my desires be met. I now know that I’m VERY sadistic and enjoy the psychological torment and discipline aspects of domination the most. It’s a wonderful journey and its only just begun! 

What is your origin story?  

Hindsight being 20/20, I see behaviors in me dating back to first or second grade.  I was attracted to a fifth grade girl who would come with a group into our class to read stories.  She at times wore leather or faux leather pants and I was drawn to sit at her feet for story time.  In childhood seek and capture games, I would always get caught by a pretty girl.  As a teen I would pleasure myself when Catwoman was the villain on Batman or when Ginger seduced Gilligan to do her bidding.  I realized it for real when I started seeing magazines.  At 21 I had a paid session and am still in the game some 40 years later.    

[bobbi jo]

5 hours ago, Mistress Ava Hadid said:

Wow!! So willing and eager to please over and over even though you would be humiliated every time… 

It became the story of my life

[NYC Sissy]

 

13 hours ago, Mistress Ava Hadid said:

OH WOW! This gives an entirely new context to yesterday’s session. You are definitely a WWE diva but perhaps a little shy?? ✨✨✨

Yep…..lot to unpack there 

[Mistress Ava Hadid]

1 hour ago, NYC Sissy said:

 

Yep…..lot to unpack there 

I think you need to truly complete the fantasy as a WWE diva!! There can be a smack down 😂

[bubbleteadrinker]

What started my discovery of my submissive tendencies was when I came across this fantasy POV femdom boxing video. In the video, you (the viewer) are in a boxing ring facing off against a woman (your opponent), who was wearing red Everlast gloves. 

 

The woman in the video dished out tons of trash talk to go along with her punches, calling you “weak” and “pathetic”. The camera POV would swerve whenever she landed a hook or a jab. You try to punch back, but she is too quick and skilled blocking your punches and pummeling you into the corners of the ring. I vividly remember her wearing this sly smirk knowing full well that she was going to win this match. After multiple rounds, you fall to the floor out of exhaustion. The final shot of the video is of her putting her boot on your chest while flexing her muscles in a victory pose. Everything about watching this strong and confident woman smack me around (even in a fantasy setting) was absolutely mesmerizing.

[NYC Sissy]

12 hours ago, Mistress Ava Hadid said:

I think you need to truly complete the fantasy as a WWE diva!! There can be a smack down 😂

Hmmmm what do you suggest 🤔 

[oyvey]

For me, I first realized I was sub when I was reading about succubi for D&D as a teenager, and realized that not only was this my thing, others obviously shared it.

[Barb85]

On 6/22/2024 at 3:15 PM, Mistress Ava Hadid said:

The unconscious mind eventually catches up to us. I think it’s a matter of whether or not we indulge ourselves and clearly you have! I think that’s fantastic. So many people are ashamed of their desires and then they act out in bizarre ways in the world instead of safely being able to explore them in a safe setting. 

I've indulged alot but still think I missed out despite starting in early 20s and being very open with partners, not always successfully. Obviously there a difference between fantasy and reality but irs definitely more than possible to find a middle ground if you want to

[NYC Sissy]

On 6/23/2024 at 12:25 AM, Mistress Ava Hadid said:

I think you need to truly complete the fantasy as a WWE diva!! There can be a smack down 😂

How we setting this up 👀 

[Mistress Ava Hadid]

On 7/6/2024 at 12:10 PM, NYC Sissy said:

How we setting this up 👀 

Looks like you need a WWE get up!

[NYC Sissy]

11 hours ago, Mistress Ava Hadid said:

Looks like you need a WWE get up!

Any ideas?? Who do we model the look after?? 🧐 

[Karl]

My earliest hint was a dream. I had probably just gone through puberty. In the dream, a beautiful woman was pissing on me while she laughingly said to me, “And you like it!” What really surprised me (when awake) was that, in the dream, I *had* liked it. In the dream I felt embarrassment about being pissed on, embarrassment about enjoying it, and (most of all) embarrassment that she knew I was enjoying it. Awake, I was mainly surprised: Where did THAT come from? I don’t think I had yet seen any BDSM porn, and certainly none with golden. I had no idea why being pissed on – objectively, a very degrading thing -- had been so enjoyable to my dreaming self.  I was even more confused about why, despite my lingering embarrassment, I was remembering the dream with pleasure instead of horror or disgust.

 

In retrospect, I remember one other thing, from a few years earlier. It didn’t seem like a hint at the time. Like most Boomer kids, I didn’t get good sex education. My fantasy was that, in our class, there would be a session for everyone of one sex, in which one classmate of the opposite sex would serve as the instructional model. The model would be naked, lying in a box, with shielding from the neck up so no one would know who it was. The teacher would explain anatomical details by pointing them out. I was curious (and ill-informed) about the girls, but what I really dwelt on, in this fantasy, was my being the model. I’d be lying there, naked, exposed to all the girls, for their edification and enjoyment. To myself, I rationalized this plan as being a good way for everyone, boys and girls, to gain valuable knowledge. I didn’t admit to the submissiveness aspect.

 

I don’t know what causes people to be variously dominant, submissive, switch, or vanilla. My limited experience suggests that, at least in some cases, it’s much more nature than nurture. I can’t think of anything in my childhood that explains why I’ve had women at the Fortress to dominate me.