Aftercare

[Mistress Dalisay]

When a session ends, how important is aftercare for you?

For those that favor it, can you express your needs to come down from a session?

[job1617]

Very important. After a session sub drop comes quickly. I become very cold and need a towel or blanket to keep me warm. I need to be held for reassurance that everything is okay. Water is also a must. BDSM play brings out very traumatic emotions of my mother who abandoned me when I was 8 years old. I often role play scenarios of angry/disappointed mother. Positive uplifting words can bring me back from the brink of tears. 

[Ford Ranger]

I don’t think it’s that important for me, beyond the equivalent of a quick “good job” and a pat on the head. 

[Tyro Tim]

I’m on the opposite end of the spectrum from Ford Ranger.  That brief moment of personal connection (even when it feels a bit awkward) is a session highlight.  To this day I recall a few moments with Mistress Jung (who was my first and set the bar for Aftercare.)

[Voyage]

I love the aftercare.  But then I always like a hug from a beautiful, sexy woman.

[Papo66]

It always seems a bit off kilter to me.  One second someone is beating you with a cane and spitting on you and the next they’re asking you what your dinner plans our.  I’m there to be dehumanized snd that’s how I want to feel when I leave.  I prefer either to be dragged out the door by my hair with a kick in the ass or just simply abandoned at the of a session to let myself out. It keeps me in my subspace longer.  One subs opinion. 

[theDumbMule]

I’m not one who needs it.  But do appreciate the “good boy” and hug if earned.

I’m also up for the surprise that occasionally comes at the end.  My first session with Mistress Kang (10 years ago this fall!) ended with the usual big hug but then just as I turned to leave she quickly punched me one last time in the balls.  I turned back to see her face but she was already turned from me going back in the Fortress as if nothing happened.  I left with the biggest grin on my face.

My first session with Mistress Westwood left me stunned.  It was a session with 2 other dommes that I have had multiple sessions with before.  But she came in and surprised me by taking control before the other mistresses could do anything.  All session long she didn’t give me an inch of leeway in anything.  At the end I was hugged by the other 2 mistresses, but when I turned to her she came up to me like she was going to hug me but then slapped me in the face and turned back and left me there stunned.  I had a session the next day so that put me in a headspace where I needed to come back the next day to atone for my shortcomings the previous day.  It was an effective way to set the stage for the next day.  It ended up being a fun couple of days.

[applicant11]

I agree with job1617 is important, but for different reasons.

I usually have very physically and mentally demanding sessions and after having some bad subdrop experiences I've read up on how to lessen the effects. Not to get all science on everyone, but there's alot of biochemistry at play during and after a session. For instance, I know that my adrenaline is very high during prolonged impact play, and that if I don't take steps to manage the crash afterwards, it's pretty bad. Some of this is similar to what you might simply do after a tough gym workout - drink lots of water, replenish electrolytes and energy through eating the right foods (protein rich foods like yogurt, some sugary/carb foods like potato chips or a candy bar to combat fatigue). There's also very much an emotional aspect as well as a physical aspect, though this emotional aspect is triggered neurochemically since during a session, I'm playing with adrenaline, dopamine, and serotonin and post-session, all of these levels "normalize" quite abruptly which can trigger strange emotions. Knowing is half the battle - now that I know why I might feel certain emotions, I can better place them in context, but dedicated aftercare is best to help reduce the effects. Hugging and chatting for a bit help here since it helps with oxytocin and helps to "balance things out". 

That's been my experience, but I also acknowledge that everyone has different sessions involving different activities. If you're into impact, watch out for sub drop.