Mistress Ahn Posted December 10, 2009 Report Share Posted December 10, 2009 I thought it was cotton stuck on your chin while stroking your cheeks. Somehow if Brando is doing it, the mental image still comes out right. If you had a deep connection with your Mistress, why is there a need to sess with another Mistress? Because it's fun? :twisted: Also, then it gives the "spurned" mistress a good reason to kick the subbie's ass! lol As if there are bad reasons. :twisted: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Ree Posted December 10, 2009 Report Share Posted December 10, 2009 Using a monogamy perspective, or closed relationship, for a submissive to seek out another dominant to be considered cheating then by that same logic if the dominant interacts with another submissive that would technically make them the adulterer. Mistress Ree talked of a sub, theoretically, tasting the "forbidden fruit" which would effectively elevate the dominant-submissive relationship to a level near a truly monogamous relationship, which would then constitute cheating by varying definition. Monokuro, Your are entirely correct. In my second post i think i mentioned that a "monogamous" relationship with subs is not actually monogamous at all on the Mistresses side, which is a little ironic when using the term "monogamy". By definition, such a relationship is not monogamous at all and i like that you touch on the difference in Mistress/sub relations between professional dommes and lifestyle ones. With a lifestyle or non-professional domme there is the possibility of achieving close to what you term a "true" monogamous relationship- with professional dommes as i mentioned above, it is impossible to achieve the textbook definition of such. While i agree that using the term "monogamous" to describe a long term relationship with a loyal sub is not accurate by definition nor can the term properly encompass the complexity of a Mistress/sub relationship, i feel that it is easier to use and the image it evokes is closest to what is meant. However, maybe we should come up with a better term? "Long term relationship with a loyal sub"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Ree Posted December 10, 2009 Report Share Posted December 10, 2009 Mister Winerack, Oh wow. I didn't realize my response would open up such a stream! I suppose a "monogamous" relationship with a sub would be after several visits and he has expressed very deep attachment to the point of excluding other Mistresses. A sub with that mindset towards his Mistress would most likely feel a certain amount of guilt sessioning with another, but he is the one that has caused it so. Even if i were to feel "cheated on" i would never guilt trip a sub over having seen someone else. However, i must make it clear that i am speaking about this theoretically. I have yet to be in a "monogamous" relationship with a sub, but this is how i believe i would respond in such a situation. (Of course, this "monogamous" relationship with subs is not actually monogamous at all, on the Mistresses side.). I also think that Ahn's comparison of Mistresses with fine wines is a very good example, because Mistresses are all different in personality and style. Like any other type of human relationship there are infinite shades of gray in thought and feeling. It is impossible and ridiculous to say there are rules and standards because everyone is different and interacts differently with different people. And as far as i am aware there no jealousies concerning subs at the Fortress. Mistress Ree, so you are suggesting that a sub express is feelings / connections to his Mistress to set the path to a monogamous relationship? Would that be during a session or before or after when the two really are not in "character"? I'm happy to read you think a sub can feel guilty for sessioning with another Mistress and I suspect no Mistress would really tell her sub that that she was upset with his actions but might you steer your next session with him down a more painful path? It seems that each situation is different and there are many factors to consider from both sides but most importantly, I am thrilled to hear that there are no jealousies with sub at the Fortress and that we can all tastes the many fine wines submitted for our enjoyment. Mister Winerack, To answer your first question: If a sub is comfortable with expressing his feelings towards his Mistress then he may. Or may not. It would be up to him and how comfortable he feels about it. There are a wide range of variables though. You must understand that there is no set way to go about this or anything else, just like in life. For instance, the conversation before, during or after a session might not allow an opening for the sub to express himself in such a revealing way. Perhaps the conversation is lighthearted, and not conducive to him professing undying loyalty. You see? I think that expressing his feelings/connections to his Mistress would help to clarify a relationship that i have found is often ambiguous. If a sub felt in such a way towards me, i would absolutely want to know because, at least in my mind, i would feel a closer connection to him- especially being a professional domme, because it would set the sub apart from the others in my mind. It would make me feel special, in that instead of having a sub who is a regular client (which is in itself pretty sweet), i would have something even better- a regular client who sees only me and is devoted only to me. You can see how this would appeal to my ego. In fact, such a thing i believe would alter the relationship between Mistress and sub because, for as long as i am sessioning with him, i am not just a pro domme seeing a client, it becomes something much more intimate- it doesn't matter if i am a pro domme or not because i am with MY sub. I apologize if that last sentence was confusing. Second question: I think after a session would be best, but like i said it doesn't matter. Whenever he feels comfortable to lay himself open. Although during a roleplay session would perhaps not be the best time, because the Mistress might take it as part of the roleplay. Out of role is always better for important matters like that, i think for obvious reasons. Third question: I might, as you called it, "steer him down a more painful path" haha, but then again i might not. I guess it would mostly depend on 1) how the news was broken to me/discussed, 2) if he looked contrite or embarrassed, 3) what kind of mood i was in. Of course, unless i was in a bad mood or was pms-ing etc. i would be most likely to forgive him. Maybe some spanking for being a naughty boy, but i probably would not devote the entire session to his punishment. Does this help? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Ree Posted December 10, 2009 Report Share Posted December 10, 2009 Ree, since you have been so "polygamous", would that make you (and other dommes alike) "a bit of a SLUT"? ;-) Hahahaha i guess so! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MisterWinerack Posted December 10, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 10, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MisterWinerack Posted December 10, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 10, 2009 Mister Winerack, To answer your first question: If a sub is comfortable with expressing his feelings towards his Mistress then he may. Or may not. It would be up to him and how comfortable he feels about it. There are a wide range of variables though. You must understand that there is no set way to go about this or anything else, just like in life. For instance, the conversation before, during or after a session might not allow an opening for the sub to express himself in such a revealing way. Perhaps the conversation is lighthearted, and not conducive to him professing undying loyalty. You see? I think that expressing his feelings/connections to his Mistress would help to clarify a relationship that i have found is often ambiguous. If a sub felt in such a way towards me, i would absolutely want to know because, at least in my mind, i would feel a closer connection to him- especially being a professional domme, because it would set the sub apart from the others in my mind. It would make me feel special, in that instead of having a sub who is a regular client (which is in itself pretty sweet), i would have something even better- a regular client who sees only me and is devoted only to me. You can see how this would appeal to my ego. In fact, such a thing i believe would alter the relationship between Mistress and sub because, for as long as i am sessioning with him, i am not just a pro domme seeing a client, it becomes something much more intimate- it doesn't matter if i am a pro domme or not because i am with MY sub. I apologize if that last sentence was confusing. Second question: I think after a session would be best, but like i said it doesn't matter. Whenever he feels comfortable to lay himself open. Although during a roleplay session would perhaps not be the best time, because the Mistress might take it as part of the roleplay. Out of role is always better for important matters like that, i think for obvious reasons. Third question: I might, as you called it, "steer him down a more painful path" haha, but then again i might not. I guess it would mostly depend on 1) how the news was broken to me/discussed, 2) if he looked contrite or embarrassed, 3) what kind of mood i was in. Of course, unless i was in a bad mood or was pms-ing etc. i would be most likely to forgive him. Maybe some spanking for being a naughty boy, but i probably would not devote the entire session to his punishment. Does this help? It helps very much Mistress Ree and thanks for taking the time to answer as fully as you did. That is very insightful and honest and I appreciate it very much as I would hope that if a connection kept getting deeper between a Mistress and her sub that it would be mutually reflected in a session. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monokuro Posted December 10, 2009 Report Share Posted December 10, 2009 Monokuro, Your are entirely correct. In my second post i think i mentioned that a "monogamous" relationship with subs is not actually monogamous at all on the Mistresses side, which is a little ironic when using the term "monogamy". By definition, such a relationship is not monogamous at all and i like that you touch on the difference in Mistress/sub relations between professional dommes and lifestyle ones. With a lifestyle or non-professional domme there is the possibility of achieving close to what you term a "true" monogamous relationship- with professional dommes as i mentioned above, it is impossible to achieve the textbook definition of such. While i agree that using the term "monogamous" to describe a long term relationship with a loyal sub is not accurate by definition nor can the term properly encompass the complexity of a Mistress/sub relationship, i feel that it is easier to use and the image it evokes is closest to what is meant. However, maybe we should come up with a better term? "Long term relationship with a loyal sub"? Mistress Ree, I'm amazed that you think I'm spot on, also a little flustered since alluring females don't really you know, take my word for it until it is too late. I thought I could pull this point further, but apparently I can't. Also, I definitely accept that quest, and I will work hard on creating that buzzword for "long term relationship with a loyal sub". -Monokuro Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Ree Posted December 11, 2009 Report Share Posted December 11, 2009 It helps very much Mistress Ree and thanks for taking the time to answer as fully as you did. That is very insightful and honest and I appreciate it very much as I would hope that if a connection kept getting deeper between a Mistress and her sub that it would be mutually reflected in a session. Your welcome, glad i could be of help Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Ree Posted December 11, 2009 Report Share Posted December 11, 2009 Mistress Ree, I'm amazed that you think I'm spot on, also a little flustered since alluring females don't really you know, take my word for it until it is too late. I thought I could pull this point further, but apparently I can't. Also, I definitely accept that quest, and I will work hard on creating that buzzword for "long term relationship with a loyal sub". -Monokuro Monokuro, Why are you amazed? Your point was valid As for the buzzword... Hmmm, what do you think of "devoted relationship"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Mina Jung Posted December 11, 2009 Report Share Posted December 11, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Zhao Posted December 11, 2009 Report Share Posted December 11, 2009 There is a new term that has come into relationship definitions as of late, Polyamory. The consenting parties involved in this type of relationship usually have a primary, and then all others are open for whatever. This is how I perceive even the most "loyal" dom/sub relationships in this business. It is, after all, the business of fantasy. People can take it as seriously as they'd like, but rarely is it complete unless it's a lifestyle. So..no. Not cheating at all. More like..expanding. Mistresses are like fine wine. Can't pick just one to drink forever. xo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Vu Posted December 11, 2009 Report Share Posted December 11, 2009 I want to make myself clear that I really don't think it's "cheating" In my opinion, you need to be happy. If you're unhappy with who you are with, you're cheating yourself. I have subs that have seen almost all the Fortress mistresses and they still see me and I still consider them loyal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Ree Posted December 11, 2009 Report Share Posted December 11, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Mina Jung Posted December 11, 2009 Report Share Posted December 11, 2009 Not cheating at all. More like..expanding. Mistresses are like fine wine. Can't pick just one to drink forever. Very well said Zhao. I agree. Isn't variety the spice of life! I must admit I couldn't eat just one sweet for the rest of my life. I need my gummy candies, my cupcakes, my cookies, my cannolis, my cheesecake...(i think you get the idea!) Side note: For those of you who didn't know, I have a sweet tooth!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
akiravn1 Posted December 11, 2009 Report Share Posted December 11, 2009 It is such a wonderful reflection on the Fortress to see each Mistress come together to form such a close family where jealous feelings or behavior is a non issue. This honestly would make me feel more comfortable sessioning with different Mistresses. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Ree Posted December 12, 2009 Report Share Posted December 12, 2009 I need my gummy candies, my cupcakes, my cookies, my cannolis, my cheesecake...(i think you get the idea!) Yay for gummy candies!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 12, 2009 Report Share Posted December 12, 2009 Lemme see now... Kang on Mon. Vu on Tues. Ree on Wed. Choi on thurs. Fri=rest day Zhao on Sat. Jung on Sun. Sounds like a plan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Choi Posted December 12, 2009 Report Share Posted December 12, 2009 I am relatively new to the scene but thank goodness I found the Fortress early on. The few times I've been there have been great and I've walk away wanting more and more. Maybe its just me (and believe me I completely know who the players are and what they are doing as well as my place as only a client), but if you session with the same Mistress more than once, you do so because you had a fanatastic time that you want to experience again and again, its because you made a connection with your Mistress, no? Accordingly, does anyone feel guilty / weird (whatever) the first time they session with another Mistress at the Fortress? Are you cheating? I can't hope to think what a next session would be like and how much further my current Mistress would push the limits to top the previous session but at the same time, a new Mistress with different style, likes, needs, desires and it may turn out not so good - its all so confusing and I might feel bad. I'm sure I'm over thinking this but any thoughts / comments would be appreciated. MisterWinerack MisterWinerack, I personally do not see it as cheating if a sub that I've seen goes to another Mistress. A good BDSM relationship is based on chemistry, just as any vanilla relationship is. If it isn't there with one, there is nothing wrong with trying a new one out. One may sort of feel it with a Mistress, but still be looking for something a little bit different - don't hesitate to explore. As a switch, I can understand the desire to try other Dom(mes) and the ensuing internal conflict about whether or not it is cheating. Your desires will develop over time, and you may discover later that you have fantasies that your Dom(me) cannot fulfill. If you were to enter a lifestyle Domme/sub relationship, it wouldn't be quite so easy to sample the wonders of other Dommes, but here at the Fortress you are more than welcome to do so. So, long story short, follow your desires! Try new things! Mix and match! :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Ree Posted December 12, 2009 Report Share Posted December 12, 2009 Lemme see now...Kang on Mon. Vu on Tues. Ree on Wed. Choi on thurs. Fri=rest day Zhao on Sat. Jung on Sun. Sounds like a plan It should be: Zhao on Fri. Jung on Sat. EVERYONE ON SUNDAY!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magdiver Posted December 12, 2009 Report Share Posted December 12, 2009 I've always gone to unisex salons to get my hair cut and I really don't care who cuts my hair. It's not uncommon for me to be getting my hair cut, and a woman who had cut my hair before will recognize me and be staring at me from across the room with dagger eyes! Yeah, I feel a bit guilty! If they just said hello with a smile or something like that it wouldn't be so bad. So, even though I've never been with a mistress, I can imagine the guilt would be similar, especially if you got the dagger eyes! But if she smiles and says hello... no guilt! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 12, 2009 Report Share Posted December 12, 2009 Lemme see now...Kang on Mon. Vu on Tues. Ree on Wed. Choi on thurs. Fri=rest day Zhao on Sat. Jung on Sun. Sounds like a plan It should be: Zhao on Fri. Jung on Sat. EVERYONE ON SUNDAY!! Ha, Ha, wadda ya think I'm crazy...besides all you ladies would be worn out! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Ree Posted December 12, 2009 Report Share Posted December 12, 2009 It should be: Zhao on Fri. Jung on Sat. EVERYONE ON SUNDAY!! Ha, Ha, wadda ya think I'm crazy...besides all you ladies would be worn out! Certainly not! In fact... I think you would be a prime candidate to volunteer for our six-some! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
akiravn1 Posted December 13, 2009 Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 Lemme see now...Kang on Mon. Vu on Tues. Ree on Wed. Choi on thurs. Fri=rest day Zhao on Sat. Jung on Sun. Sounds like a plan Mustang GT If you factor in Mistress Ahn & Mistress Seung, even without a rest day, there just aren't enough days in the week, unless of course you do a double session or take Mistress Ree's suggestion of EVERYONE ON SUNDAY!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forteounce2000 Posted December 13, 2009 Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 I personally do not see it as cheating if a sub that I've seen goes to another Mistress. A good BDSM relationship is based on chemistry, just as any vanilla relationship is. If it isn't there with one, there is nothing wrong with trying a new one out. One may sort of feel it with a Mistress, but still be looking for something a little bit different - don't hesitate to explore. As a switch, I can understand the desire to try other Dom(mes) and the ensuing internal conflict about whether or not it is cheating. Your desires will develop over time, and you may discover later that you have fantasies that your Dom(me) cannot fulfill. If you were to enter a lifestyle Domme/sub relationship, it wouldn't be quite so easy to sample the wonders of other Dommes, but here at the Fortress you are more than welcome to do so. So, long story short, follow your desires! Try new things! Mix and match! :-) Then You don't mind if I cheat on You w/ Hello Kitty? I heard She gives good tail. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 13, 2009 Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 It should be: Zhao on Fri. Jung on Sat. EVERYONE ON SUNDAY!! Ha, Ha, wadda ya think I'm crazy...besides all you ladies would be worn out! Certainly not! In fact... I think you would be a prime candidate to volunteer for our six-some! I would little Ms. Ree, but Mr.Spockme seems like a better candidate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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