ConsentOptional Posted November 18, 2019 Report Share Posted November 18, 2019 There's a real good thread about fetish origins. I am also curious about fetish evolution. Are there things that were totally off the table when you started sessioning (or envisioning sessioning) that are now... on the table? if yes, was it... Simply something you were unsure of that you were dubious about it until you were given a proper introduction to it, eg, toys/equipment that were interesting but intimidating. Something you just never expected to enjoy because of your self-conception, ie, you self-identify in a way that makes it not quite right for you and you had to adjust 'theory' in light of 'practice'. Something a domme (gently but firmly...?) insisted on. You trusted her as your tour guide in this world, and sure enough she brought you to a place you needed to see and now hope to visit each time. Something that was a perhaps unanticipated, but in retrospect, a logical extension of something you did enjoy. Having done x naturally y needed to happen. Other. And then there are those things that newby you thought looked really fantastic when you were gazing through the window in the fetish restaurant. But when you actually sat down at table, it was not at all to your liking. In my early sessioning days, I would always consider forced femme a non-starter. I wanted to be tied up - remorselessly. With rope and cuff marks that made long sleeve shirts and long pants necessary in the days following, regardless of time of year. And I wanted a story, one that played with the idea of consent (consensually). Forced femme was not part of it. If asked, I would list it as a soft limit. Hard limits I'd reserve for extremes of physical or psychological torment. I could add golden to that list, both being soaked and ordered to consume. And chastity - which was fairly primitive when I started. And shaving - which you never see in any early bdsm videos (even Sardax doesn't use it, no matter how devastating the sub's predicament.) But soft limits are the playground of the nonconsensualist. A combination of reasons 2, 3, and 4 above have done in the listed soft limits. They are not suddenly "easy" and I sometimes still dread them. But they are psychologically important. And the dominatrix, who better understands the Bardo between what you want and what you need than you do, is aware. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philosophicalsub Posted November 21, 2019 Report Share Posted November 21, 2019 On 11/18/2019 at 7:28 AM, ConsentOptional said: But soft limits are the playground of the nonconsensualist. A combination of reasons 2, 3, and 4 above have done in the listed soft limits. They are not suddenly "easy" and I sometimes still dread them. But they are psychologically important. And the dominatrix, who better understands the Bardo between what you want and what you need than you do, is aware. I really like how you articulated this. I have recently been exploring pushing my soft limits (or rather, having them forcibly expanded). It’s still very new to me. As you say, having the limits pushed feels important, somehow. The more difficult it was to have been pushed, the more meaningful the memory feels to me, and the more glad I am to have experienced it. Even if I was quite the opposite of glad at the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConsentOptional Posted November 21, 2019 Author Report Share Posted November 21, 2019 It's definitely not a linear thing, PS. Fits, starts, wrong turns, bad advice. But it moves in the direction of self-discovery, and soft limits are the gates. I like that old quote from Samuel Beckett. Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better. Here's to failing better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franknot Posted November 21, 2019 Report Share Posted November 21, 2019 On 11/18/2019 at 7:28 AM, ConsentOptional said: Something you just never expected to enjoy because of your self-conception, ie, you self-identify in a way that makes it not quite right for you and you had to adjust 'theory' in light of 'practice'. Something a domme (gently but firmly...?) insisted on. You trusted her as your tour guide in this world, and sure enough she brought you to a place you needed to see and now hope to visit each time. Yeah CO.. In my recent unconventional session your 2 & 3 pretty much hit the mark for me. 2) was the result of my first ever x-dressing while not alone... and... 3) describes the intense nipple torture which was.. just done..no discussion preceded it .. gently, firmly or otherwise... and sure enough she brought me to a place i needed to see and now hope to visit each time... through any venue she might choose. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Zora Jin Posted November 22, 2019 Report Share Posted November 22, 2019 I love reading this thread lol it seems that some of you guys can be easily lead (mislead) into all kinds of trouble when we give you a little bit of motivation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philosophicalsub Posted November 22, 2019 Report Share Posted November 22, 2019 1 hour ago, Mistress Zora Jin said: I love reading this thread lol it seems that some of you guys can be easily lead (mislead) into all kinds of trouble when we give you a little bit of motivation. Indeed. I can’t speak for all subs, but at least for me it is a huge turn on for a Mistress to choose an activity that I didn’t, or wouldn’t have suggested myself. I love knowing that I am fulfilling her desire instead of having a nagging doubt that she is merely humoring mine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franknot Posted November 22, 2019 Report Share Posted November 22, 2019 1 hour ago, Mistress Zora Jin said: I love reading this thread lol it seems that some of you guys can be easily lead (mislead) into all kinds of trouble when we give you a little bit of motivation. Well, yeah,.. when you put it like that ... we are kinda pathetic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yourdog84 Posted November 22, 2019 Report Share Posted November 22, 2019 2 hours ago, Mistress Zora Jin said: I love reading this thread lol it seems that some of you guys can be easily lead (mislead) into all kinds of trouble when we give you a little bit of motivation. This entire thread reminds me of my last session with you. There was a few things I went through that I would still consider soft/hard limits lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Megan Ang Posted November 22, 2019 Report Share Posted November 22, 2019 On 11/21/2019 at 5:32 AM, ConsentOptional said: It's definitely not a linear thing, PS. Fits, starts, wrong turns, bad advice. But it moves in the direction of self-discovery, and soft limits are the gates. I like that old quote from Samuel Beckett. Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better. Here's to failing better. You’ve become a slaves motivational speaker & I hope they all read this for reference when thinking about their limits. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franknot Posted November 23, 2019 Report Share Posted November 23, 2019 On 11/22/2019 at 1:10 PM, Mistress Megan Ang said: You’ve become a slaves motivational speaker & I hope they all read this for reference when thinking about their limits. I find CO as more of a ..sub x-ray machine.. than motivational ... i think you'll find that he's consistently on point ... many times even before the point is made. I've always enjoyed his postings ...and more recently those of PS (Philosophicalsup.) I find myself nodding my head and thinking .. "yeah, that's it, exactly" ... they are both able to articulate my thoughts, feelings and perceptions more clearly than i myself can. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Zora Jin Posted November 23, 2019 Report Share Posted November 23, 2019 On 11/21/2019 at 10:10 PM, yourdog84 said: This entire thread reminds me of my last session with you. There was a few things I went through that I would still consider soft/hard limits lol Haha can't wait to do it again! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Zora Jin Posted November 23, 2019 Report Share Posted November 23, 2019 On 11/21/2019 at 9:55 PM, franknot said: Well, yeah,.. when you put it like that ... we are kinda pathetic. LOL I like you like that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franknot Posted November 24, 2019 Report Share Posted November 24, 2019 17 hours ago, Mistress Zora Jin said: LOL I like you like that! After giving this some thought ... under the right circumstances ... "i like me like that too". It's liberating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Zora Jin Posted November 26, 2019 Report Share Posted November 26, 2019 On 11/24/2019 at 10:43 AM, franknot said: After giving this some thought ... under the right circumstances ... "i like me like that too". It's liberating. Sexual liberation is really healthy. I guess we're working on physical and mental health now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franknot Posted November 26, 2019 Report Share Posted November 26, 2019 1 hour ago, Mistress Zora Jin said: Sexual liberation is really healthy. I guess we're working on physical and mental health now! We can have both of those things patched up in no time...having you supervise the repairs on my physical and mental health will hardly be a challenge for someone who can quickly and competently install her own bidet seat ... i trust you completely. Please don't forget to close up my "mind zipper" when you're finished tinkering in there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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