What it's all *really* about

[Mistress Zhao]

I found this succinct article on a blog I follow, which talks about what the bdsm experience is all about for me..

 

http://ericpride.blogspot.com/2011/12/connection-and-creativity-in-play-and-s.html#links

[toby]

Mz,

Great article and I concur as well. The connection is the most important for me too. I had a phenomenal session with Ms Jung which I am desperate to pursue a chance to further that connection. It is funny where I find these connections. They are usually wrapped around difficult scenes. My connection with you happened upon your first couple days when you were the N.K.O.T.B. I signed up for a few things outside my comfort level and really enjoyed myself. I felt like a trained pony being out through the paces by a new trainer.

MsJung was a similar experience as I wanted to get back in the ring with a couple old favorites and try some new. I had no idea if I would be able to do sounds but she reassured me with communication and experience how well it all was working. That made the whole session priceless and made it for me a done deal I want to develop a partnership with her to take me to new levels as I will trust her to take those steps progressively. I feel comfortable to give here control of sessions.

So Mz thank you and someday looking forward to a session Where my view from the floor may have you in the room alongside MsJung.

-Toby

[Dashan]

M. Zhao, thanks for sharing this blog entry. It's a reflection on what a smart domme you are, and what a great group JK has put together at the FF.

 

I particularly agree about the point of being "fully present." This applies both to tops and subs. I was just telling my very capable mistresses at my last session at the FF that I always wanted to be "completely present." One of the things I appreciate most about the two mistresses I enjoy at the FF is that they are always 100% present during the session. Even though they are experienced players, and put me through the paces, I know that they are 100% there, and not "going through the motions."

 

This, to me, is what makes BDSM so much more intimate than either "vanilla" sex in a relationship, or seeing a standard "provider" of erotic services.

[EdgarAH]

Thanks Mistress Zhao. RE: checking in, one time in a session while in a slightly painful, however not unpleasant experience with you and former Mistress Tan (my first Fortress experience), my eyes were squinting, I was on all fours, a bit uncomfortable and quiet. You were playing your role in humiliation while Mistress Tan did her thing. I looked up from my uncomfortable position and saw you smiling at me, on the floor, face to face. It was a really cool check in and despite what was being said, to me it showed you really cared. I was convinced from that moment that you were someone to be trusted and that you were quite special. Thanks again.

[Milkdud]

Mistress Zhao,

Thank you for the link. Great post! I think the blogger introduces the very difficult topic of intimacy which challenges BDSM players far more than any shabari or Florentine flogging technique. Truly, the toys ropes, furniture, and costumes are only props in the psychodrama which can have great power to transform both participants and release hidden emotional and erotic energies.

LW

　

.

[Johnny0000]

Thanks, Mistress Zhao - That article helped me get a little more of a better understanding of bdsm which at times I feel like I'm just starting to grasp an understanding of & at other times I find it very complex & difficult to grasp & sometimes I find it a little scary depending on what the particular topic is - A few or my friends are heavily into the bdsm scene - 3 of them are older than me & were into it in the 70's & 80's & still into it now & on occasion, they have told me a lot of very interesting & sometimes really wild stories but they never really explained it like that article & the topics on this forum.

[skeech2]

It is exciting to know that You believe in the "connection". Has the communication on this board helped with that?

[wild willie]

Interesting

[TrackWarrior]

I found this succinct article on a blog I follow, which talks about what the bdsm experience is all about for me..

 

http://ericpride.blo...nd-s.html#links

 

Nice Ms. Zhao thank You.

[Phred]

Great post and link, MIstress Zhao - I feel like I'm getting a sneak peek into a magician's special bag of tricks !

[TrackWarrior]

Great post and link, MIstress Zhao - I feel like I'm getting a sneak peek into a magician's special bag of tricks !

 

I do have to say that i'm a little disappointed it's not the "Hokey Pokey"

[joey]

thank you MZ! your brilliance shines like a beautiful star!

[akiravn1]

mZ,

 

Thanks for sharing! I am in complete agreement and to read "what truly matters in a scene - connecting with my play partner. Connecting with them on a physical as well as a mental level. Sharing and building a meaningful experience with them to be remembered." That aspect honestly can bring me closer to a Mistress and establish a kind of trust that I find second to none. This absolutely enhances the entire scenario for me.

[Stinger]

Yeah, more people should read this. Beautiful.

 

Thanks, Mistress Zhao.

[Mistress Zhao]

The term "connection" is highly palpable to the two people experiencing it, but to any outsider, it's an enigmatic and sometimes elusive idea. Only from experience can one really *feel* a connection happening, an alchemical effect of the right body and brain chemicals and ideas mixing and mingling to create an altogether new something.

 

While I value all of the techniques I've learned in bondage, gadgetry, tool-wielding and roleplay, I still yearn to get into peoples' heads the most. It's the most savory part, the "meat" of why I continue to explore bdsm through all its facets and avenues.

 

So again, thank all of you whom I've had the joy of connecting with through sadistic seduction or torture or whatever our moments together may entail.

I want more!!

[mongoose]

Yes, I agree MZ. I think I will book a session with you this summer I think. When I'm back in peak physical shape. Hope to see you soon!

[TrackWarrior]

The term "connection" is highly palpable to the two people experiencing it, but to any outsider, it's an enigmatic and sometimes elusive idea. Only from experience can one really *feel* a connection happening, an alchemical effect of the right body and brain chemicals and ideas mixing and mingling to create an altogether new something.

 

While I value all of the techniques I've learned in bondage, gadgetry, tool-wielding and roleplay, I still yearn to get into peoples' heads the most. It's the most savory part, the "meat" of why I continue to explore bdsm through all its facets and avenues.

 

So again, thank all of you whom I've had the joy of connecting with through sadistic seduction or torture or whatever our moments together may entail.

I want more!!

 

Ms. Zhao, It's an amazing thing having You bend my brain. i'm breathing deeper just thinking about it.

[Jung's Jewboy]

Thank you for the link. For me, a feeling of connectedness has always been the key to a good session. The tone of the article seems more geared to R/T couples, ubless I'm mistaken, but many of the principles apply. I know that eye contact is very important in establishing that connection and also gaging reactions. Eyes ARE the window to the soul....now where's my Windex?

[Mistress Zhao]

Thank you for the link. For me, a feeling of connectedness has always been the key to a good session. The tone of the article seems more geared to R/T couples, ubless I'm mistaken, but many of the principles apply. I know that eye contact is very important in establishing that connection and also gaging reactions. Eyes ARE the window to the soul....now where's my Windex?

 

hm...what does R/T stand for?

[Mistress Zhao]

I do have to say that i'm a little disappointed it's not the "Hokey Pokey"

 

I'll pokey your hokey

[TrackWarrior]

I'll pokey your hokey

 

Heheh!

[Mistress Mina Jung]

The connection is the most important for me too. I had a phenomenal session with Ms Jung which I am desperate to pursue a chance to further that connection.

 

Thank you toby! I'm glad you felt our "connection" and not just the physical one For me it is the driving force behind a session, the catalyst to my creativity.