Newbie doing my prep work!

[ConsulIncitatus]

Hey Everyone current college guy here who has yet to get involved in any meaningful sense in the world of fetishes. After just recently finding out about The Fortress I am looking to make my debut here. I read other threads asking who people should schedule their first session with and the response is always that they should tell booking what they are in to. I realized I don't even really know what I am into. I don't actually feel like I know the full range of possibilities as far as boundaries. So seeing as the community here appears to be pretty strong, I was hoping to get some help to establish an idea of what is even in the realm of possibility. I would also hope to gain some idea of who I should be leaning towards when I schedule my first session. 

 

As far as what I do know about I guess its easiest to say I know the basics and stuff like that, the stereotypical D/s things. I do KNOW that in at least some substantial degree this is what I am into and I am hoping to explore the side of me that I have previously never had the courage/knowledge to act on. 

 

As a last note I do realize that there may be the possibility that the Fortress could be a bit too much for an altogether newbie like myself. If that is the case I would still appreciate any help given and will anxiously work up, so to speak, until I can handle this place.

 

Cheers and thanks in advance,

Incitatus

[Dannyboy]

Hey Everyone current college guy here who has yet to get involved in any meaningful sense in the world of fetishes. After just recently finding out about The Fortress I am looking to make my debut here. I read other threads asking who people should schedule their first session with and the response is always that they should tell booking what they are in to. I realized I don't even really know what I am into. I don't actually feel like I know the full range of possibilities as far as boundaries. So seeing as the community here appears to be pretty strong, I was hoping to get some help to establish an idea of what is even in the realm of possibility. I would also hope to gain some idea of who I should be leaning towards when I schedule my first session. 

 

As far as what I do know about I guess its easiest to say I know the basics and stuff like that, the stereotypical D/s things. I do KNOW that in at least some substantial degree this is what I am into and I am hoping to explore the side of me that I have previously never had the courage/knowledge to act on. 

 

As a last note I do realize that there may be the possibility that the Fortress could be a bit too much for an altogether newbie like myself. If that is the case I would still appreciate any help given and will anxiously work up, so to speak, until I can handle this place.

 

Cheers and thanks in advance,

Incitatus

The very first thing you should do is consider yourself fortunate indeed to have access to the Fortress. Many of us started before the Fortress was a reality and some of us started in what I might call the "dark ages."

 

That you are a neophyte is not unusual, we all started with differing levels of uncertainty and misconceptions. Explaining your current state of being to booking will be beneficial to you. I have no doubt that an introductory/exploratory session could be arranged that will help you understand your needs and set you on a path that leads to ultimate realization.

 

Trust your own feelings and trust that you are in good hands at the Fortress.

 

Dannyboy

[ThankUMaam]

The BDSM world spans many interests. My recomendation is to "Google" BDSM checklists. There are different ones available. Most break down into, 1- Not interested, 2- Curious and might want to try. 3- Definitely want to try. See how you feel about the various subjects. Then have a phone interview with lady booking your appointment. I found the communication I had with the Fortress to be friendly and informative. Unfortunetly when I visited NYC a few years ago, I came down with bronchitis, so I did not book a session. I hope to visit again soon, and will book an appointment. If I were to make one observation, I would like to see the various ladies list there favorite scene's.

[loveinthetimeofcollaring]

If I were to make one observation, I would like to see the various ladies list there favorite scene's.

Maybe. I suspect different Mistresses are predisposed to different scenes, but in my experience they're so open and creative that you're unlikely to have a situation like, "If you want scene X, go with Mistress Y."

 

That said, chemistry/compatibility is a very real thing. Before the Fortress I'd only seen independents (and some personal relationship stuff), and was dismayed because I couldn't find very good chemistry (even in the personal relationships, what made them work in the vanilla world broke down in BDSM land). Maybe it's because the Fortress Mistresses are so close, but my chemistry so far with them has been great [at least in my opinion ;]. Still, a newcomer still finding themselves should be aware that not all Mistresses click with all subs--and that's okay.

 

The important part is to be open to exploration and not shy to communicate what you're curious about. I've got a whole philosophy around limit setting and communicating what (and when!) you *don't* like something but I'm on a mobile phone right now and my thumbs doth tire :]

[Manpeach]

You've already picked up from the threads that there is much more going on here than just whips and chains.

 

What is important that you work up the nerve to book a session. It is scary and intimidating but if you want to explore this world, this is a safe place to do it.

 

Which ever Mistress(s) you end up with, she will expand your body and soul.

[ConsulIncitatus]

Hey all,

Thanks for the responses. Some very good advice here! Particularly that checklist bit. Very helpful because, in the ones I saw, there was some stuff that I would never even fathom. Some were just meh in my response, and some rouse some great interest. I can't wait to schedule an appointment once I arrive back in NY.

 

Incitatus

[Mistress Kang]

Soo Consulincitatus, do we get to see this "checklist" of yours? :-)

[Mistress Zhao]

Consullncitatus,

 

This new journey in your life will be a fun one. I find that the younger generation's attitude about bdsm is much more open and casual, so it should be no problem to "break you in" with a smattering of new activities to see where your interests lie.

I presume you're not exactly a masochist (yet) but with the right chemistry, hopefully your boundaries will expand and your repertoire broaden.

 

Only one way to find out! Just remember that the first time is often a session about "feeling each other out" and to not get too stuck in your head about what "should" happen, just go with the flow.

 

Hope that helps!

 

Hey all,

Thanks for the responses. Some very good advice here! Particularly that checklist bit. Very helpful because, in the ones I saw, there was some stuff that I would never even fathom. Some were just meh in my response, and some rouse some great interest. I can't wait to schedule an appointment once I arrive back in NY.

 

Incitatus

[ConsulIncitatus]

Mistress Kang: Sorry for the delay, I will post the full checklist once I have whittled it down on some particular items. As of now I have mostly  figured out how I feel. I am still on the fence on a few items. 

 

Mistress Zhao: Your response in a way sums up the reason the Fortress seems entirely perfect to me(this also applies to the enthusiasm of Mistress Kang's response regarding my checklist.) Overall I can tell that no matter who my first appointment is with I am in good hands, considering that all at the Fortress seem to be involved in a way that is beyond BDSM being "just a job", so to speak. Your description of it as a journey is particularly apt to my situation, it very much seems to be a journey for me at this point where I have had "tastes" of it to whet my palate,  but any real BDSM activity has mostly been partners acquiescing my requests without true personal enjoyment. It would be nice to dive in headfirst and get the full experience. 

 

As a general thread response: Thank you to everyone who has responded. All comments have been very helpful in laying down the foundation before i take the leap and schedule my first appointment.