ConsentOptional

I can't even imagine what that would be. And I can imagine a lot. Military attire is such a classic. Great contributors to the culture of slut bondage. I'll look forward to your update. Please advise the surest way to get arrested by a military tribunal.

Love the on the back, legs spread and pulled up by suspension. Invariably one leg or the other trembles slightly in that position. Add an outfit that appears to have come from the clearance section at Discount Stripper, and I give the impression of having taken a ride home from the wrong stranger with candy.

Working on it. Writing some other things. A kind of spider fable for one. Also took a detour into engraved locks, but it hasn't posted. I am on my second life at FL. Closed an account and started over, keeping a minimal profile now. Ironically for someone into kidnapping, I do not like a lot of drama. I checked to see if there was a Mistress Rey there. Appears not to be. A lurking predator perhaps.

I don't know if I coined "slut bondage". But I haven't heard the term anywhere else. I checked Fetlife and there's, as yet, no fetish by that name. By contrast, there are seven (7) fetishes based on Snickers Bars. Bacon wrapped Snickers Ice Cream Bars You taste as good as a stolen Snickers Bar Fifty Shades of Snickers Bars Mr T throwing Snickers bars at me Snicker bars Needles, weights, and Snickers bars Snickers bar as aftercare So I guess it's a category in my head mostly. I will write a post on it. Though I have a vague sense of a moth foolishly explaining the fine points of immobilization to a spider.

I'm stunned. Whatever it is that deer say when they are locked on the headlights, I'm saying it. We don't typically read a bdsm blog expecting the fruits of a well-honed intellect. Not meant as an insult, just not the general direction of things. Absolutely disarming. Dangerous.

Oui. Merges the metaphor of being led by the c&b with the reality of being led by the c&b.

To the first statement - no wrong moves allowed in that position. Yes, those are the only positions I like. Simple and strict. I particularly like what I call "slut bondage." The bondage that is prevalent in forced feminization scenes - elbow cuffs, arm-binders, taut spread-eagling, silencing gags, gags that hold the mouth open, things combined with c&b bondage.... But bondage, in my experience, is the most frustrating aspect of sessioning. I have gone so far as listing "being able to untie myself" as a hard-limit to see if that would help. The position in the picture of me is achievable in 1 minute and completely inescapable. I would take rubber cuffs and keyed-alike locks over shibari any day. The objective is helplessness and access, after all. If numbness or unsustainable discomfort begins, the whole shibari bundle needs to be unwound. Locks on the other hand... To the second statement - You mean you're wearing the cheap wig and crying while raped? Was that meant for me or someone else? Forced femme, to me, needs to go "there" eventually. But...complicated.

Leash attaches to a bar in the metal chastity cage... Attempting upload, but don't know if it will work.

Due to being on the slut side of the sissy/slut divide, the outfit isn't complete without wrist and elbow cuffs, collar, gag, and a leash that attaches "there." https://fetlife.com/users/1055348/pictures/49240840

Always liked the vintage artwork of Eric Stanton and Jim of Switzerland.

Hi PC, I think you are extrapolating from an imposed and temporary depiction (slutty or sissy) to a general negative statement about women. And underneath it all you harbor a general negative assessment of men. You call for "total emasculation" because "they are superior to you". So why wouldn't "they" totally emasculate? But what can we make of the "superiority" that relies upon "embarrassing and humiliating"? Is it "superior" when men do it and have historically done it to women? Is it in any way better than male hegemony? You see once you veer out of the dungeon into the wide world your judgements need to support more weight. If sluts and sissies are demeaning depictions because women are inherently superior - then how are women inherently superior? And how is what goes on in a dungeon an expression of that inherent superiority? I actually do believe that in many ways women are superior. But it connects to compassion and empathy and being attuned to the universe in ways men can never be. Your last statement is my favorite and brings things back around. "Being feminized without being enslaved and dominated lacks excitement." Yes, excitement. It's fun. What I do is fun, what the sissy does is fun, and what you do is fun. I don't see any expression as being demeaning to any other. After enough time in these waters I simply call the things I don't like or want "unerotic". Scat, forced bi, sex with an armadillo (even a fairly hot armadillo in latex...) They do nothing for me. But they do something for someone. I'm ok with that.

Hi BigR. With whatever exercise we do, a bump is always great. But you will have to see what is sustainable. The venn diagram of dominance and submission can overlap to a great degree. Taking more of whatever it is you are required to take starts as an act of submission in a session. But demanding more of your body outside a session - is that submission or something akin to dominance and ego? I run a fair amount and do a weird sort of skating as a change up. The submissive mindset - if that's what I have - approaches adding distance in a consistent way. I decide I will add a mile on the weekend run. So say 10 miles. The first 9 is the usual recognizable struggle because it's as much as my body has allowed me so far. I have to think of the 10th mile as a gift. It's the gift I earned by running the first 9. A privilege. The exhaustion that will come afterward will be exquisite because of that 10th mile; it will be miserable if I don't make it. I will not get this chance for another 168 hours because I don't run distance during the week. But because of the 9, and only because of the 9, I can now attempt 10. Is that dominance or submission? It feels more like dominance. But I don't have a "switch" bone in my body. Work is another thing altogether. There, I have to be controlling. To call it "dominant" isn't a good fit. There are a lot of details to manage and a tone to be set. But it's because I accept the mandate and do whatever is necessary within reason to achieve it. Is that dominance or submission? It looks, to the outside world, like dominance. But the experience of it doesn't feel that way. And when it's done I seriously want to be chained up in a dark room. So....

@manpeach, my first experience was also pretty much out of the blue. I used to list anything related to cross-dressing as "disinterests." I reserved "limits" for things that I was afraid of or were definite non-starters. But my entry-level drug is and was always bondage. Once bound or presented with exciting bondage opportunities, I am pretty much putty in the hands. It was fairly innocent compared to say having 'slut' pierced into my ass (see avatar). Tied me to a chair in a bra and teased me pretty relentlessly. The level of arousal was a revelation (at the time - I was fairly new to the "sport"). What it showed me was how I could be molded by mixing my "disinterests" with my most desired fetishes. My hardest limits remain intact - though some of the earliest ones have fallen by the wayside. But it traces back to that first experience, and learning that you can be taught to crave a thing you said you didn't want. Frightening truth in the wrong hands. And I am always looking for those hands.

This occurred to me as I was reading Mistress Rey's post on Sissy Outfits. In my mind (which may not cover the area outside my mind), there's a huge distinction between sissification and sluttification. Sissification involving an acknowledgment of inner femininity. While it might be over-the-top ultra-feminine, it is ultimately grounded in self-acceptance. It says this is who I am, or partly am. Sluttification (again, in that poorly managed terrain I'm calling "my mind") does not require the recognition of an inner femininity. It may be there, may not. Doesn't matter. It will be there before She is through with you.... Sissification is an expression of submission. Sluttification is an expression of dominance. Other differences... Since the sissy, on some level, accepts himself, he may (only "may") enjoy certain privileges. Such as a spare key to his chastity device. The slut, on the other hand, should not even bother to ask for one. It will only make matters worse... The sissy will be found in very feminine, possibly even rather chaste ensembles. The slut, not so much. A tawdry whore left shackled in a very "usable" position. That he does not think himself "that kind of girl" or as a girl at all is moot. He soon finds that his captors see him as that kind of girl and require him to dress as that kind of girl; and before his indoctrination is complete, he will be that kind of girl....* On this sliding scale, I definitely land on the end marked "slut". It is worth mentioning because dommes, especially earlier in their careers, do not draw this distinction, seeing all feminization as being more or less the same. While I don't know how sissies feel about being approached as sluts (as above), I can definitely share what an uncomfortable fit it is for a slut to be approached as a sissy. Speaking for just one (un, ein, uno, 1) slut, I am not seeking my inner softness, if that is a fair expression. Rather it's relief from having and being required to have more control than I am comfortable with that I am after. To know that upon walking through these doors, nothing will be left up to me - even the definition of my sexuality. One last thought. Don't forget to bind the elbows. It shows you care... (*Disclaimer: this is pure fantasy and is said in all possible loathing for the nonconsensual victimization of actual women.)

Mistress Rey, consensual nonconsent accounts for 100% of my fantasies. I love the paradox of seduction and force used simultaneously; so that I am both being induced to crave and forced to accept the role she has selected for me. I find that over time even if I could physically escape, psychological escape is no longer an option.... So, yes, hypnosis is in that realm. It's not dissimilar to a fantasy of being drugged and waking up in chains in a basement. But it relies more on the idea of an innately superior mind. Both are pretty hot fantasies (to people like me), but hypnosis "feels" closer to my ideas of female supremacy, and is hence a few percentage points hotter. Provided I still wake up in chains in a basement....

The question with fetishes is always "what is the drug." For me the drug isn't the art and aesthics. It's the helplessness and vulnerability. The more quickly achieved the better. In say a one hour session, a rope tie that takes 20 minutes to achieve, is sustainable for 20 minutes and takes maybe 10 minutes to unwind... Well you get the point. (Even still, I would never do a one hour session, no way, no how.) I like locks and rubber cuffs. Rubber cuffs allow just enough rotation to keep numbness at bay without needing to loosen anything. I love a really stretched feeling. 4 corners. 5 points even better. 6 points if the slave collar is also included. Keyed alike locks are handy for this purpose. One key, 4 locks. Cargo straps are another great invention (that whole row in Home Depot makes my mouth run dry.) I also really like what I would call 'rape vulnerable' positions. Bent over a table; face-down on a bed (stretched). Hands behind the back and pulled up to the ceiling. That sort of thing............

Taking it one bite at a time.... Freud says that fetishes, when repressed, lead to neurosis. To lead a neurosis free life, we can't repress that urge and must acknowledge, and confront it.... What do you think about this statement? It's a kind of "how long is a piece of string" problem. It's as long as we say it is. At one point would Freud credit us with having "acknowledged" and "confronted" our fetishes. We learn to live with contradictions, paradoxes, ironies. And compartmentalization. Especially men. Sometimes it's healthy, sometimes not. Have we not acknowledged and confronted if the fetish stays in a box on the shelf most of the time? Depends on the length of a piece of string. What would your life be like if you did not explore bdsm? Hard to think of my life any other way. I've been at it about 20 years. What has your open exploration of bdsm done for you, is it helpful? Therapeutic? Not effective? A blessing and a curse. Real life experience has demystified somethng that probably needed it. On the other hand it's made me realize that what I seek will probably forever be a platonic notion. Something that only exists in the ideal form in my mind. Experience has helped me refine the way I approach sessions, the way I express what I hope for. And of course learning the difference between stuff that sounds cool and what actually works in a session. Over time I have added more an more elements from 'reality'. For instance being someone shy and tongue-tied around a powerful dominant woman comes naturally. So that would be part of a roleplay. Rather than making things more complicated by trying to be a different person. Therapeutic? Only to the extent that all experience is potentially therapeutic. I've learned that certain fantasies will never go away. Certain session activities are always hot. And straight sex can't hold a candle to being helplessly bound by a latex Goddess. When did you first realize your urge and how? I was probably 5 or 6 the first time I bound myself with a belt. It has always been there. I was always attracted to any programming that held out the hope of captivity and bondage at the hands of a femme fatale. What drove you to explore it? It was never anything spiritual. No digging in my psyche for a learning experience. It was an intense desire to be completely helpless with no hope of escape. I wanted a combination of seduction, force, and helplessness. It has since refined into dabbling with post-session non-consent. Chastity (sans key). Assignments in the days immediately preceding a session. "Soft" blackmail - only for ensuring ongoing non-consensual consent. It's a lot to ask of someone who may well prefer something that can be summed up in a few sentences. Trust is a big factor on both sides of the cage door. Trusting someone to take my consent away in a 'safe' way. Her need to trust that I can handle what I am asking for; that I am not simply talking about it (since pre-communication requirements are larger than usual). I don't know if I am still 'exploring it'. Or if I ever was. But it's still there in my psychic fingerprints. And every few months or so I take it out of the box and take another stab and matching it to an experience.

https://www.youtube....h?v=0y3caXEbE0o Seriously hot.

I will have to hunt it up on Netflix. But from reading IMDB it touches on 2 of my favorite themes. The secret dominatrix. And the notion that empathy does not necessarily result in consensualism. Most of the roleplays I think of involve someone who is not at first understood to be a dominatrix. Or who is known to me as a dominatrix but I am either not allowed to disclose this or it is simply the case that no one would believe that this woman is forcing me to submit to her when she need only snap her fingers to be surrounded by willing subjects. The intersection of empathy and nonconsent is even trickier. But suppose this. Suppose that the kindest thing the dominatrix could do would be to fasten a collar around your neck and say, "Come with me, boy." And when you protested, gag you and continue as she had planned. Perhaps you have been struggling to believe you don't 'need this'. Perhaps you live the rest of the time at a level of control that seems to conflict completely with the idea of fully accepting the authority of another. The community here may have come to terms with it, or believe they have. But many have not, and they aren't here, or they are here and playing it close to the vest. Which is fine. In my case, in the heat of a project I am engaged 7 days a week trying to stay ahead of issues, doing other people's thinking, always making a list, always... something. And increasingly not present. I reach a point where I badly need a window where nothing depends on my say-so. Not an anger or revenge-based session, which is too often the answer you get when you ask about non-consent. But a combination of seduction, force, and intolerance of resistance. Yes, it's very hard to find. But it's all that interests me.

My experience is that Mistresses prefer a well-shaved sub. It's better for bondage too. And gives a wonderfully submissive feeling.

Nudity is much more common and much less intriguing than a woman in form-fitting latex.

I always put in at least a week of chastity before a session. It's good to arrive with a full appetite so to speak. I love seduction and denial in a captive context where it begins to feel like (and perhaps becomes) mind control. But that is me on the honor system. Simply avoiding all sexual gratification for a week = the 1st kind of chastity. 2nd kind is to add a chastity device. The 3rd kind is a chastity device to which one doesn't have the key and must come to his Seductress, Abductress, Interrogatrix, Reprogrammer.... to be unlocked. This is not easy but not impossible with a Mistress one hasn't seen before. A roleplay could be built around the need for a formal lock-up. Coming by a week early and turning over the keys (possibly paying the tribute at the time to get it out of the way for next week). Does FF or its players do any keyholding? Over time it has become more important to me - even if it gives me some long nights. thanks, nc. PS. Tried to load the attached session pic as my avatar but was kicked back for being too big. Anyone know the byte limit? This one is 1.61mb.