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On 2/7/2019 at 1:03 PM, Mistress Kang said:
Have you ever cried in session? What happened to make you cry? How did you feel?
Have you ever cried in session?
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19 hours ago, Mistress Kang said:
Since you cry all the time, is it less special when you cry in session? How do you define the importance of each bawl?
Oh no, I'm not desensitized to tears. One of the most powerful aspects of crying, for me, is the fact that it so often can open up emotions and thoughts that otherwise would've remained unconscious or undefined—if one is attentive to that sort of thing. Part of the question of the importance or meaning of each bawl is what opens up the floodgates to begin with, but then also what comes pouring out. Bawling out of affection, for example, is quite a surprising experience... to allow myself to wax poetic a bit, I'd say it feels a bit like what I imagine growing pains would be like for a blossoming flower, if a flower were a sentient being. It's like, "Oh, hi, this is me! Ouch! Beautiful!"
I feel we are always becoming, always emerging. There is no finality. If self-awareness is not dynamic, then it's really just an attachment to a diagnosis. A lot of people seek thrills in order to feel alive, and I like a good thrill now and then, but, at least for me, it works at least as well to hone and maintain the sensitivity it takes to feel the full range of reasons to cry, and feelings expressed through tears, and unconscious desires and fears, and so on, that emerge in that vulnerable state.
I mean, to keep it brief and finally shut up, I might just say that each bawl sort of determines its own importance; it's just my job to pay a little attention.
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I cry all the time, including in session. Sometimes it's just teary-eyed wistfulness, sometimes I bawl. The first time I cried in session was because the whole session was just too much for me. It was only my second session ever, and my first double session, and those have typically ended with me agitated and overwhelmed. I've cried from anger in session, from pain, from joy, from affection, and from good old fashioned sadness. I'll never forget when Rey said, "I've never seen you this sad." It made me all the sadder. Some tears feel good, or, at least, they feel like a need; cleansing. Some tears just make the pain—physical or emotional—all the more poignant.
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There are too many to choose from, HM, and so many more still ahead of me.
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This is really nice, thank you, HMJK, I'm really enjoying the responses.
Yesterday I stopped along my walk to watch the squirrels in Tompkins square park bury nuts for the winter. (If you've never seen them pat down the earth with their little hands, I highly recommend giving it a few minutes, it's fascinating and adorable.) I'm grateful for the little moments in the animal kingdom I get to spy as I walk around the city.
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Anyone else seen Crazy Rich Asians yet? Because Hello! Gemma Chan. Wowza.
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20 hours ago, Mistress Kang said:
Bit of a narcissist are we? You admire your own qualities in Daenerys ?
I mean, you asked.
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Daenerys. My family left me with as much baggage as privilege, and I learned early on how to be alone and take care of myself. I'm honest and principled, but also stubborn and naive. I'm impatient for the world to be better, and perpetually surprised to find people who don't seem to give a shit, but even when I make an impact, I struggle to see how to leave a lasting impression. I also have a pretty high self regard.
But I'm, like, way less badass. And even at my most masochistic, she still has a higher pain tolerance ?
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i'm genuinely struggling to come up with an answer for this. i more often wish i'd done things earlier than wish i could come to things freshly again. i was a pretty tightly wound teenager.
so maybe a weird answer... i'd like to be able to hear shakira's oral fijacion for the first time again. the first time i listened to that album—pre-ordered on CD lol—her voice during the chorus of the first track gave me this incredible synesthetic experience, that i was tasting (and even feeling) ripe peaches in the back of my mouth. i kept replaying it and feeling it again. it was outrageous.
that note still gets me every time, but the peaches eventually stopped showing up.
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On 8/1/2018 at 12:13 PM, Mistress Alexia Zito said:
I’ve explained this so many times! Baked ziti is yummy, so get your facts straight! It is too easy to make though, you’ll have to come up with something a little more impressive!
Anyone else spend an embarrassingly long amount of their life thinking it was "begzeeti"?
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i'm pretty sure my first couple of emails to booking were rambling and confused—but they got the job done! they are very helpful.
one of the best decisions i ever made.
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On 7/22/2018 at 2:38 PM, kevybaby said:
I would like to be Blake Lively's pet. I want Sofia Boutella to ballbust me way past what is safe.
Oh, oh yes.
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On 7/16/2018 at 11:31 PM, otaku said:
So evil, now every time I bake something I'll think back to this
I did a pretty bad job with the whipped cream decoration, but it tasted pretty ok-ishy
this is just beautiful. well done!
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53 minutes ago, kevybaby said:
Thanks! I also don't like that other people touch my food but it beats me having to kill the animal and gut it and clean it and preserve it and everything myself so I just settle for strolling through Shoprite and picking up other peoples' hard work. Although I did one time actually catch and kill and then gut and prepare and cook a fish all by myself (cause I'm a MAAAAAANNN) and I absolutely hate seafood but that fish tasted so damn good.
-shade-
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1 hour ago, Mistress Kang said:
What!!! That's uber hot LOL I like that you caught and prepared the fish ? And can even make a slamming dessert. I'd wife you up. You can make all my sandwiches.
Now we're talkin.
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i love to cook, and i get much more into it when i have someone to cook for.
i recently brought home a bucket of fish from a day on the water, cleaned and filleted them, and prepared a few porgies dredged in corn flour (fried in bacon fat yesssss) and some fluke ceviche, and i've got a few packages in the freezer for a later date. it would make me feel all manly and proud to catch, kill, clean, and prepare a meal for my mistress. and then i'd bake her a tart or a pie for dessert, or some lemon bourbon cupcakes or something
or if we were doing brunch i'd make my upscale egg mcmuffins, freshly squeeze some OJ, and make a big ol pot of coffee (or herbal tea, if she doesn't like caffeine), all served with a side of foot massage. and then i'd hope for a "good boy" or two.
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13 hours ago, Mistress Rey said:
But how did that make you feel!?
I'm not sure I'd ever really felt like an object of desire before then, but that's what I heard and felt in her voice, and then that's what I felt in my body. It was exhilarating while being confusing. It was like hearing a poem in a language I didn't yet speak that I knew someday I would love.
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This is inspiring. I will have to make my favorite dessert, a meyer lemon tart, bring it in, and ask Mistress Zito not to trample (and feed me) all of it, but instead save some to share with the big boss lady
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Delightful. This says a lot about the place. I can't wait to return. The silicone mouth is... sort of terrifying, and yet I also sort of want to try it.
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Hey New2This (for now)—what a wonderful decision you've made! My first ever session was at the Fortress, too, and as clichéd as it sounds, my only regret is that I didn't come and play sooner. And there's no place better to be than at Mistress Zito's feet!
Be as open and honest as you can, but don't worry if you don't have a super specific session in mind. Mistress Zito is knowledgeable and creative and she'll find a way to have fun at your expense
Practically speaking, I'd say it's always a good idea to clean up, shower, brush teeth, etc., before session, to whatever extent possible, and follow instructions respectfully and with care. I'm sure others may have other useful tips. But otherwise, just be ready to bow down!
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An important life lesson:
Whenever my ex put a fresh roll in our apartment, she'd put it under. It drove me mildly nuts. But after a while I asked her why she preferred it that way. She had no idea what I was talking about. Apparently it was just an unconscious choice. So I asked whether she'd care—or even notice—if I were to switch it. She said she didn't care one way or the other, so I went ahead and flipped it to over whenever she put on a new roll.
Communication is key.
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Over.
Crying In Session
in Fortress Guest Forum
Posted
Nothing particularly comes to mind, but surely there are more scenes and session dynamics than exist in my imagination. Seemed worth asking.