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Do Platonic Relationships Truly Exist?


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JJB:

 

Well, it's really in the operation of Ms. Kang's mind that the question was formulated so her meaning is known to her and the rest of us can us our own devices to venture an answer. The definition of Platonic can be loose or strict. The looser we interpret it the less meaning we can ascribe to the question. I think Ms. Kang wants to know whether a committed couple, fully capable of sexual intercourse, could truly enjoy a non-sexual committed relationship. I don't think she's asking if one likes a co-worker or is otherwise associated with another, but does not allow for the possibility of sex, that the connection is Platonic and successful.

 

I am not going to study Plato's works to be sure of what he meant but I assume he believed that one could share love with another but shun sex as it will bring them closer to Godliness in their connection.

 

Who cares if I secretly want to fuck the next door neighbor but never try. That is not Platonic. But if she divorces her husband and runs off with me under the condition that we never have sex in the pursuit of a true and pure relationship I think Ms. Kang would be curious if that kind of relationship can exist and survive.

 

Your thoughts?

 

Dannyboy

I guess my thought is that that wasn't her question but since you posed it I will comment.

 

I guess for me I wouldn't be able to have a platonic relationship with a Roman I was strongly attracted to

 

That being said, if we were so compatible in so many ways and platonic was the only option she offered I might be able to make it work for me. If we were intimate friends she would undoubtedly know my psychological/sexual makeup and perhaps I could be her chaste worshipful submissive BFF.

 

If it couldn't be tweaked like that I'm not sure it could work.

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I guess by my defintion <yeah iam a poor speller> I have been in this kind  of relationship with a Lady for many years we see each other 2 times a month never had sex or anything like that. We go out to  talk about poerty books and religion at the end of the night we hug and she goes home alone

ww:

 

I would say that there are friendships of many degrees and levels that do not involve sex or the possibility of sex.  I don't know that you describe a platonic relationship or just a friendship.  In fact I have dinner once a month with a group of individuals who share a common interest.  I pick up the check for 1 of the ladies each time and have shared confidences with her for over a decade.  I wouldn't call it platonic relationship as I have had primary relationships with others for the entirety of our friendship.

 

Dannyboy 

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Intimate and affectionate, without a sprinkle of sexual innuendo. Hmmmm...

Allow me to weigh in on this one~

This is one of those all too often written about topics, that we get to endure in rom-coms , and silly sad love songs.

So, there must be an underlying issue, with platonic relationships not "always" working out in life no?

We can definitely love to share this type of closeness with a person, sort of at a "controlled temp" but never expect said friend to want the same forever.. And suddenly these carnal instincts fire up around said platonic friend. So what else is there to do?!~ I say get out the emergency fire hose-& beat him with it!!! Better to save platonic friend right?! LOL ;)

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I am confused by the question. When you say 'if attracting sexual preferences exist' are you asking can one have a platonic relationship exist if you are attracted to the other person.

 

I mean between a man and a woman who are straight (or bi), or a man and a man or woman and woman who are gay (or bi).

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My friendships with women have run the gamut.

 

I have and have had long term friendships with women. Some I have been attracted to and some not.

 

In cases where I have harbored an attraction there were times it was manageable and times that it became too hard to manage (NPI).

 

In the latter case there were instances where the woman definitely worked me good. Be careful what you wish for and what you are attracted to! When you are a submissive by nature and attracted to narcissistic women it can be a recipe for frustration - which is its own reward. LOL.

 

In short, it is possible and I have been lucky enough to enjoy friendships with women.

 

I can see how a relationship with a narcicist can be appealing to you but also ultimately short lived.  In a way, in that relationship at least, you're being somewhat of a narcicist too.

 

Are you currently still in those relationships?  If not why did they end?

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I may be wrong but I think it's fair to say that Fortress staff are probably not a representative sample of women at large as far as this question goes. I can imagine most people in their circles and outside of them are drawn to them in a way that makes a platonic relationship challenging.

Smart puppy.

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JJB:

 

Well, it's really in the operation of Ms. Kang's mind that the question was formulated so her meaning is known to her and the rest of us can us our own devices to venture an answer.  The definition of Platonic can be loose or strict. The looser we interpret it the less meaning we can ascribe to the question. I think Ms. Kang wants to know whether a committed couple, fully capable of sexual intercourse, could truly enjoy a non-sexual committed relationship.  I don't think she's asking if one likes a co-worker or is otherwise associated with another, but does not allow for the possibility of sex, that the connection is Platonic and successful.

 

I am not going to study Plato's works to be sure of what he meant but I assume he believed that one could share love with another but shun sex as it will bring them closer to Godliness in their connection.

 

Who cares if I secretly want to fuck the next door neighbor but never try. That is not Platonic.  But if she divorces her husband and runs off with me under the condition that we never have sex in the pursuit of a true and pure relationship I think Ms. Kang would be curious if that kind of relationship can exist and survive.

 

Your thoughts?

 

Dannyboy

 

Like good attorneys I welcome you all to take advantage of my loosely defined query.  All of your answers have been eye opening and allowed me to extrapolate, so THANK YOU :-)

 

And yes Dannyboy, your final paragraph is what I'm looking for.

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I guess by my defintion I have been in this kind  of relationship with a Lady for many years we see each other 2 times a month never had sex or anything like that. We go out to  talk about poerty books and religion at the end of the night we hug and she goes home alone

But if you want the relationship to go further than it has then it's not platonic ;-(

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Why are we drawn to the people who become our friends? In many cases, my friendships with women started because I found them attractive and introduced myself, but then for one reason or another it became a friendship rather than something romantic or sexual. Even though I cherish most of these friendships, and am content keeping (most of) them platonic in the sense of non-sexual, I don't think this fits our Head Mistress's query, since, in the right circumstances, I'd go for it.

 

But so what? It's definitely difficult to have a sustainable friendship if one of the friends is actively pining after the other, but simply finding someone attractive is a very different matter. The friendships I have with my close female friends are true friendships, even if I do sometimes wonder what they taste like :P (And even sometimes get to find out :o:D )

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Hi MISTRESS JESSY KANG...

 

I most emphatically believe many Platonic Relations truly exist...if only one sided...for example every male that sets eyes upon YOU...including lustful Lonewolf...immediately desires YOU...bar none...because of your endlessly enticing ultra feminine most extraordinaire PHYSICAL BEAUTY!!!

We the silent majority totally and endlessly adore you interminably...while in most cases you never heard of most of us...unless we had the ultra extreme luck to serve you personally...which for me will be most joyfully endured to the fullest on my Birthday session with you on Friday May 13...MISTRESS KANG ...I know you will make it the most memorable experience of my life as no one else can...counting down the days...hours...and minutes...Birthday Boy Lonewolf

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I guess by my defintion <yeah iam a poor speller> I have been in this kind  of relationship with a Lady for many years we see each other 2 times a month never had sex or anything like that. We go out to  talk about poerty books and religion at the end of the night we hug and she goes home alone

 

if she asked you to have sex with her, would you?  :D I bet yes. 

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I can see how a relationship with a narcicist can be appealing to you but also ultimately short lived.  In a way, in that relationship at least, you're being somewhat of a narcicist too.

 

Are you currently still in those relationships?  If not why did they end?

 

As always, your comments are probing and insightful. 

 

Some of those platonic friendships ended because they arose from a shared context - work, school, geography etc.  So, one could say they weren't DEEP friendships I suppose but I felt they were at the time.

 

You are spot on in terms of my narcissism playing a role in my friendships where I felt used.  It took me a while to own my role in creating the monster!  If you go out of your way to be at someones beck and call you can hardly complain when they come to rely on that and ultimately expect it.  In a way, these narcissists were giving me exactly what they perceived I needed.  They were good friends in that they were responsive to my need to serve.

 

I think there will always be elements of this dynamic in my relationships with women.  My most long-term platonic friendship with a woman started that way but evolved as we evolved as people. 

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As always, your comments are probing and insightful. 

 

Some of those platonic friendships ended because they arose from a shared context - work, school, geography etc.  So, one could say they weren't DEEP friendships I suppose but I felt they were at the time.

 

You are spot on in terms of my narcissism playing a role in my friendships where I felt used.  It took me a while to own my role in creating the monster!  If you go out of your way to be at someones beck and call you can hardly complain when they come to rely on that and ultimately expect it.  In a way, these narcissists were giving me exactly what they perceived I needed.  They were good friends in that they were responsive to my need to serve.

 

I think there will always be elements of this dynamic in my relationships with women.  My most long-term platonic friendship with a woman started that way but evolved as we evolved as people. 

 

 What did you get out of being the 'friend of service' to a narcissist? 

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 What did you get out of being the 'friend of service' to a narcissist? 

 

Good question.  On the surface doesn't seem worthwhile.

 

I do think that its a pattern developed early in my interactions that was likely frustrating as it became clear that service would not guarantee requited interest but rather than abandon that approach I took the easy (?) path, well the familiar one, and eroticized my ambivalence.

 

Downside of that is, of course, that once you get off on being frustrated and thwarted that kind of becomes a permanent 'neural pathway'.   So, may I pick up your dry cleaning? LOL

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A real platonic relationship is like true love, hard to find but possible. Every so often it happens and when it does you have to hang onto it. Mostly one side or the other develops feelings and things end in disaster but to your question, yes it is possible. i have had a few of them with girls, but since this is NYC they always end up leaving the city so they never last

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I think it's very difficult if not nearly impossible I had a few female friends as a child that all ended when I hit puberty. I think there are certain things that tell my brain no go when it comes to hitting on or seeking out a potential girlfriend or friend with benefits. If a woman is a no go I just can't see her in that way. The problem for me is I tend to get emotionally attached to people and can be clingy so I try to avoid a situation like that as much as possible. I also tend to misread signals which typically lead me to the ever so cliche of banging my head against a wall and mumbling "stupid" to myself.

 

I want to believe one can truly exist but I think they are very rare because as human beings we are hard wired to and pardon my language eat, shit, fuck, reproduce, and sleep. Trust me no matter how platonic if two straight people of the opposite sex are in a situation where they are together for an extended period of time and nobody else is around platonic will go out the window, land smack dab on the street, get rammed by a car, and repeatedly run over by said car.

 

For it to be platonic I believe there must be absolutely zero sexual attraction for both parties.

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In what situations do you find yourself meeting women who can be potential friends?

 

 

I think it's very difficult if not nearly impossible I had a few female friends as a child that all ended when I hit puberty. I think there are certain things that tell my brain no go when it comes to hitting on or seeking out a potential girlfriend or friend with benefits. If a woman is a no go I just can't see her in that way. The problem for me is I tend to get emotionally attached to people and can be clingy so I try to avoid a situation like that as much as possible. I also tend to misread signals which typically lead me to the ever so cliche of banging my head against a wall and mumbling "stupid" to myself.

 

I want to believe one can truly exist but I think they are very rare because as human beings we are hard wired to and pardon my language eat, shit, fuck, reproduce, and sleep. Trust me no matter how platonic if two straight people of the opposite sex are in a situation where they are together for an extended period of time and nobody else is around platonic will go out the window, land smack dab on the street, get rammed by a car, and repeatedly run over by said car.

 

For it to be platonic I believe there must be absolutely zero sexual attraction for both parties.

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