kevybaby

yeah I gotta be better morally or whatever I guess

Lots of pride and sloth, maybe some gluttony and some lust I guess technically. But not really much greed or envy! Prone to anger though I'd say.

That's really interesting, thanks. I wish Elliott Spitzer with the whole scandal he had would have just owned it and been like "Yeah I do it and I enjoy it and I'll continue to do it." And then UN-cleaned up Times Square that Guilliani previously cleaned up and made NY once again a breeding ground of debauchery and sin. Would have been cool if he'd done that. But I'm not surprised he didn't and I guess people by and large don't like that probably

Yes do us proud man yes

Sort of but not for any kind of fantasy but only because I've been working at a new job and I'm waking up earlier so sometimes I don't have enough time to jerk off in the shower in the morning. And by the time I get home I'm usually too tired to jerk off so that's it; I missed the boat on jerking off. I'm probably jerking off once every day or 2 on average now, down from my regular schedule of once a day no exceptions. Sometimes I'm even getting to 3 or 4 days which is absolutely insane. But I also haven't been watching porn at all (3 weeks today) so that makes it a bit easier to not lose my goddamn mind with horniness

Mental chastity is much more realistically doable

What was the assignment chastity or something else?

Serious question but what's the difference exactly? Is forced fem more you feel like a girl and it's cathartic to experience wearing female clothes etc. while sissy play more about the humiliation of being made to wear female clothes etc.?

It's the easiest thing in the world to just session without fear at all because you've got your safeword handy and you're just going to sit back and enjoy the experience... but I think that's an incredible ugly and shallow way to session. So if I approach sessions more thinking about how I'm going to work to try to be a good sub (which I'm terrible at) and actually please a mistress or mistresses, then I get anxious because I know I'll fall way short. But at least I'm trying and if they see that then maybe, just maybe, the session can actually be worth something. If I think of a session as something I'm just getting (which I think is so ugly it's unbelievable), it's not worth a fraction as much as it can be if I actually try to contribute whatever I can from myself to the session. Maybe everything I'm saying is obvious and this is actually a unique problem that only I've run into because I'm a lazy, useless, selfish, asshole - but yeah that kind of mindset has been a big difference between my favorite and my least favorite sessions.

What have you seen change over time in professional domination? I feel like chastity has become much more popular in just the last few years but I'm not sure if I've noticed anything else so specific or obvious. So glad at the rise of chastity (at least in my perception) though because chastity is the best (and worst obviously). Anyway for advice I would just address the anxiety before sessions and say that I'm always anxious before sessions pretty much. The few times I wasn't that anxious before sessions were in some ways my least favorite sessions. You're supposed to be anxious. If there are things that should cause anxiety in a normal person, going to a dominatrix should certainly be one of them. And you'll learn that you can trust a mistress and then the anxiety won't be so unhealthy in the future and it will just be excitement moreso. That takes time though. I generally feel safer now at Fortress than anywhere else in the world honestly, and that definitely wasn't true at the beginning for me. Whenever I session with Mistress Zito now especially I feel so safe it's unbelievable. Anyway this post is too long but just dive in yeah. See how it goes.

I also only had 1 session this last year, and it was alright. My fault - I was trying to do a chastity denial type thing and it would've been much better if I hadn't been watching copious amounts of porn every single day for the week leading up to the session. I was literally basically waking up and watching porn until I went to sleep every single day for the entire week leading up to the session. I thought it would make me more desperate but no it just makes you feel shitty and not be able to interact with another person at all. Anyway fuck porn and the way to do that kind of chastity tease definitely isn't like that. If you're going to wear chastity for a week or whatever leading into a session, fine, hot even, but porn will ruin it. You should be anticipating the mistress and that's about imo. Anyway you learn what doesn't work, at least, from the sessions that aren't as great, and know what not to do in the future. So it's a lesson at least.

In 2020 if at all possible I'm going to try to be less of a useless lazy stupid asshole. It's not worth much I don't think and it seems really hard and I don't think I'm smart enough to do it and I don't care much if I succeed, but I'm going to give it my best shot (or at least a shot).

I don't have more sophisticated tastes and while the entire body is beautiful there are reasons why the panties and feet and legs ass breasts etc. are favorites to worship. So yeah those are high up on the rankings but lets also not rank things. Breasts smell the best though not sure why but they smell so good I think even though you'd think they just wouldn't smell. Very strange

It's like being ballgagged over the internet. It's very frustrating

Honestly I try to post but Mistress Kang stops me. I'm always trying though

Yes

This is why I always suffer stoically in silence. I'm brave though so idk if this is useful advice to reccommend to other subs or if maybe I'm just really really brave idk

You should watch Room 237. If you're interested, it's a whole documentary on The Shining and the making of it and Kubrick and it's really interesting

I remember watching that for the first time on Halloween actually, in high school with a friend. Such an amazing movie but the scariest part by far is how every time they cut to the black screen for the next day and the super intense horror movie music plays. That made me jump out of my seat every time. The screen cuts to black and the caption "Thursday" and I'm pissing my pants. Blood coming out of the elevator is less scary than those cuts.

I mean there's nothing wrong with being attracted to who you find attractive and what you find attractive. You shouldn't feel under any obligation to find people or things that you don't find attractive... attractive. I'll never understand why anal and incest are the top fetishes you see on any major porn site. They're like more popular than regular porn. Don't appeal to me at all

I don't know of anything that fits all of that. Maybe Divine Bitches or Femdom Empire for the bondage stuff. No idea about exclusively asian sites, sorry. Humiliation, foot worship, and cbt are in probably in the majority of femdom videos you'll find so those shouldn't be hard to find. Tease and denial is most often found (for me) in POV type humiliation videos - any of the girls on Iwantclips and those types of websites, Cruelgirlfriend and Humiliatrix and CumCountdown are other sites with that type of stuff. No idea why bondage is so rare in femdom videos. Hey fuck porn though man it's not good

What kind of fantasies do you like to see? I'm good at watching femdom porn so maybe I can help