Beatme Posted February 5, 2017 Author Report Share Posted February 5, 2017 Although I understand you must feel frustrated with your previous experiences with empathetic mistresses, it's also assuring to know they were exercising caution when it came to pushing your boundaries! How far did they push you? At what point did you tell them to stop? Did you make it very clear you didn't want a safe word and you were consenting to anything they wanted? If you make it very clear you don't want a safe word, be prepared to commit to being at the total mercy of your mistress. At one point, even if you feel certain now, once you reach your breaking point you will regret not having a safe word. It's only normal in a very intense moment. You just need a mistress who can lead your mind away from your panic-induced regret and fully submit to her breaking you. When you are ready for that, come to the Fortress. Sorry for the delay. I am still interested in the future when I have the opportunity. I always make it very clear what I am looking for and she can do what she wants within my few limits. Well Ive had a few different experiences. Sometimes I showed up and im given a safe word anyhow. Several times I was beat without one but I wasn't pushed that much. Once I said I changed my mind in the first few minutes because I lost my nerve and when I said so she stopped. Another time I was taking a nice beating that was starting to push me and the mistress scared my by saying something and I overreacted and begged to stop. But the best time I was pushed really far but there were a lot of breaks and I technically had a safe word. I know I would probably regret not having a safe word during the session but afterwords I would be so happy to fulfill my ultimate fantasy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Von Dietz Posted February 7, 2017 Report Share Posted February 7, 2017 Set up a safe word? You can always have one, but there could be a severe punishment for using it to act as a deterrent.Indeed. Best to let us just Test Your Limits. We really really love to push. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Rey Posted February 11, 2017 Report Share Posted February 11, 2017 Sorry for the delay. I am still interested in the future when I have the opportunity. I always make it very clear what I am looking for and she can do what she wants within my few limits. Well Ive had a few different experiences. Sometimes I showed up and im given a safe word anyhow. Several times I was beat without one but I wasn't pushed that much. Once I said I changed my mind in the first few minutes because I lost my nerve and when I said so she stopped. Another time I was taking a nice beating that was starting to push me and the mistress scared my by saying something and I overreacted and begged to stop. But the best time I was pushed really far but there were a lot of breaks and I technically had a safe word. I know I would probably regret not having a safe word during the session but afterwords I would be so happy to fulfill my ultimate fantasy. You have to promise not to lash out in anger if you get pushed too far without a safeword to protect you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConsentOptional Posted February 11, 2017 Report Share Posted February 11, 2017 I haven't had a safeword in my sessions at FF. Not that it has been refused to me, but that hasn't been the direction of things. It has been more toward psychological control and self-revelation or self-acceptance. Processes that wouldn't be interrupted by me indicating I didn't wish to continue. An empathic Mistress is what I need. Sometimes empathy will take the form of mercy, sometimes it will take the form of making me continue. But for those for whom a safeword is a significant feature of the Domme/sub relationship, I would question the motivation behind asking to remove it. Some are working out trauma from an unseen closetful of experience. And you'd have to ask why they want to remove the barrier between themselves and the raw experience of torment. Misogyny and other dysfunction may be lurking in the background. Maybe not. Maybe it's just the thrill of letting go. But just as it takes a lot of trust for the sub to go without a safeword, it takes a lot of trust for the dominatrix to agree. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Rey Posted February 13, 2017 Report Share Posted February 13, 2017 I haven't had a safeword in my sessions at FF. Not that it has been refused to me, but that hasn't been the direction of things. It has been more toward psychological control and self-revelation or self-acceptance. Processes that wouldn't be interrupted by me indicating I didn't wish to continue. An empathic Mistress is what I need. Sometimes empathy will take the form of mercy, sometimes it will take the form of making me continue. But for those for whom a safeword is a significant feature of the Domme/sub relationship, I would question the motivation behind asking to remove it. Some are working out trauma from an unseen closetful of experience. And you'd have to ask why they want to remove the barrier between themselves and the raw experience of torment. Misogyny and other dysfunction may be lurking in the background. Maybe not. Maybe it's just the thrill of letting go. But just as it takes a lot of trust for the sub to go without a safeword, it takes a lot of trust for the dominatrix to agree. "But just as it takes a lot of trust for the sub to go without a safeword, it takes a lot of trust for the dominatrix to agree." That was very well said. Emotions that even the submissive did not anticipate can come up unexpectedly and take a dark turn when pushed beyond their limit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anubis Posted February 14, 2017 Report Share Posted February 14, 2017 You have to promise not to lash out in anger if you get pushed too far without a safeword to protect you. Mummification can take care of that possibility. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beatme Posted February 14, 2017 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2017 You have to promise not to lash out in anger if you get pushed too far without a safeword to protect you. I would promise Mistress Rey. I don't see myself getting mad over something i asked for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pomi Posted February 14, 2017 Report Share Posted February 14, 2017 "But just as it takes a lot of trust for the sub to go without a safeword, it takes a lot of trust for the dominatrix to agree." That was very well said. Emotions that even the submissive did not anticipate can come up unexpectedly and take a dark turn when pushed beyond their limit. Indeed, I think this was (at least in part) a dynamic I hadn't fully accounted for when I sessioned at FF. I didn't want a safeword, but hadn't fully appreciated that the Dom didn't know me for that to really work. As a result, everything remained far more tame (relatively speaking) than I had wanted and I never felt I was actually getting pushed. (To be fair, I made several other mistakes in setting everything up as well, and my disappointments are entirely my responsibility and in no way reflect on the fantastic Doms or facilities of the FF.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beatme Posted August 17, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 17, 2020 I found a lifestyle mistress awhile back and she pushed me reasonably far. When I begged for mercy she hit me harder and I stopped begging really fast. It eventually got to the point where I was thrashing around and I was pleading for mercy. At that point she said I would have to take 30 more strokes before we were done. At the end of that experience I felt really good about what happened. It was not fun while I was going through the tough part, but afterwards I felt amazing. She really enjoyed the whole thing ☺. This is still something I would like to explore further with a pro. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
berenika Posted September 14, 2020 Report Share Posted September 14, 2020 sounds interesting. I guess you were pleased Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BookNerd Posted November 13, 2023 Report Share Posted November 13, 2023 The safeword issue is interesting, partly because it so often gets completely misunderstood by people on both sides of the debate. To stay with, “no safewords” usually gets conflated with “no limits no safewords”, when in reality real “no safeword” play typically has more limits. I’d also suggest that in kink play there really is no such thing as “no safeword play”. Sure you can negotiate to not have one, but do you really think your top won’t stop if you say “I’m going to puke, I feel faint”? There’s a separate corporal punishment and disciplinarian scene where safewords are quite uncommon. I suspect this is because they restrict themselves to quite narrow activities that don’t really carry long term risks (I.e. caning or paddling) Forfeit play where there’s a word that stops the immediate torment in exchange for 6 hard cane strokes sounds quite fun actually. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Kang Posted November 18, 2023 Report Share Posted November 18, 2023 BookNerd, I agree with you. No safeword does not mean no limits. The magic happens when your Mistress understands your limits (in some cases, learns what they are as you play). The skill is when she can build the scene to reach that edge, bring it back to a false sense of safety, then bring it right back to the edge but slightly further, and repeat. The goal is to play intense enough without ever needing a safeword. I like doing that 🙂 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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