questionmarks

Are we sure that's what the chunks were...?

Oh but I do love this detail and your perfectionism!

I love your positivity, HMKJ, but sadly I don't think there's much anyone can say to recommend it.

That's a plain B.

"Two girls one cup" is a classic. One of my friends loved finding disgusting videos and bringing us up to his room to show us. "Head in vagina" made a strong impression. I was always unsure whether to find it more alarming that people made these videos or that my friend seemed so eager to track them all down. Now that same friend just sends me constant instagram images of hot women. So tame!

I will investigate and report back. I love when you bind me in ways that feel constricting, but that nevertheless leave me enough movement to worship. It's not long before I forget my predicament when some part of my body can pay homage to your beauty. That said, I will learn how to struggle better for you Being bound by you is already so seductive. You intoxicate me, and make me feel docile and pliable. There's always a moment when I realize how calmly and eagerly I'm letting you tie me up, how willingly I'm falling into your trap. I simply cannot resist. I can't imagine what it will be like after your intensive training!

whatever it takes!

i promise not to bump this post too many times, but i really loved this promise/threat/provocation: I want to make your tonsils less concave prrrrrrrr lol

Damn!

I've had a few memorable sessions involving sensory deprivation. Usually it's my vision, and then my head starts moving like a blind dog's does, seeking out the sounds around me with greater care. But the strongest memory this evokes is struggling to understand, while wearing the gimp mask with nothing but a small zipper over the mouth, and headphones over that, and with my hands chained to something (I couldn't tell where I was anymore), that Mistress Rey was demanding that I shout "I'm a pussy" for screaming and whimpering about the low level of electricity she was sending through me. I finally understood the command (I think she lifted the headphones for a moment to finally get the message across), but then, between the pangs of fear and the tightness of the mask, I couldn't really get the word pussy out of my mouth "Louder!" I remember feeling lost, and terrified, and embarrassed, and oh-so-pleased to be such entertainment for Mistress Rey. She knows how to make me desperate, but she also knows how to make me grateful for it. Just imagine the predicaments she could get me into with a mastery of shibari!!! I've been working on calming myself with deep breathing so I can endure such predicaments with more poise for longer periods. She really makes me feel like a wuss sometimes

Mistress Rey, I so love these reflections and questions of yours. Your points about culture, about the shifts in notions of masculinity across cultures and even within a single culture over time, are so spot on. As it happens, I do think strength and physical prowess are still baked into our culture's sense of masculinity, and I do certainly feel a sense of pride when I turn out to be stronger than someone expected, or a little hit of embarrassment should I turn out to be weaker. One quirk of my personality is that, over the years, I've become more and more inclined to lean into embarrassment (as I like to describe it). Our knee-jerk reaction to embarrassment or shame is often to try to flee from it, obscure it, or make it go away as fast as possible, but I've learned that it can be more fun to simply own it and endure it. And it often takes the edge off. It's less embarrassing when you're not embarrassed by the embarrassment, and it's less fun to tease someone who doesn't seem to mind it. (Or at any rate it's easier to tease them in a good-natured way.) But I do, of course, still sometimes hate embarrassment, and I do certainly feel deep shame sometimes. It's hard for me to imagine how someone might get to me in that way, especially what might get to me the most. This reminds me of your post about emotional sadism from a while back. I think to get to me, someone would have to have a pretty good sense of my psychology, and she'd have to make me dwell in decisions I've made that haunt me, and somehow manipulate me into that special kind of shame that hatefully builds on itself. ...if that makes any sense. In any case, it would probably have to be a woman, and a woman I find much more than just beautiful. I can't think of anything that would qualify as universal shame, but that seems like a really interesting starting point for a good conversation

Congratulations, Mistress Rey, this is so exciting! It's been thrilling and inspiring for me to get a small glimpse of your encounter with shibari and your sense of commitment to it. I was never particularly interested in bondage myself, until I felt the passion you've begun to bring to it. It has made my moments learning, or at least trying, to be a better bunny for you feel sacred. I can only imagine how incredibly powerfully it must resonate with you for you to feel the way you do. From my vantage point, you seem as tickled and excited as you do humbled and dedicated. I'm in awe of the intense focus and dedication you're capable of, and how patient and precise you've been in finding this particular path. Tokyo is one of my favorite places. It's about to get even better.

Maybe you can add that to your growing list of crafts! Dominatrix, hypnotist, barber, puppy trainer, stylist, wrestler, dad joke writer, etc., etc.

LOL I think I would definitely fail this examination. There must be so many Inquisition-inspired torments out there. A friend of mine studies that period and finds the strangest little bits of text. If he shares any particularly intriguing and gruesome things with me soon, I'll try to remember so I can share them with you and see what details they remind you of