risotto

My worst low points with depression. This is now 25 years back, thankfully. It can actually become like physical pain. I'm not sure that's even a simile - it's not clear to me that it doesn't literally overlap with physical pain. There isn't a safe word.

It was kind of a male-focused question, so no way I could possibly cast blame. Samurai were definitionally male, "cowboy" has "boy" sitting right there, and while, historically, there were definitely some female pirates, there weren't many.

Took much hierarchy, too many rules, for samurai. The swords are cool though. Actually, most European pirate ships were very egalitarian - many pirates were naval deserters who hated the extreme hierarchy in the navy. Captains were often elected and often ousted by the crew if they didn't produce results. Still, burning down towns and rape and such, not interests of mine. So, cowboy. Plus, my mother grew up on a cattle ranch and loved horses and two of my uncles were ranching right up until they died, so it's in my blood. If my mom hadn't moved away, I could have easily ended up as essentially a cowboy.

I'd like to think of myself as an owl, maybe a snowy owl, but I know that's not right. If I were an owl, I'd probably be a burrowing owl, though those little guys are fiercely protective and I appreciate them in their own way. Owls have superpowers, I don't. A snowy owl can hear a mouse a metre under the snow when it's ten metres in the air. More realistically, one of the corvidae, the family with jays, crows and ravens. Smart, social, not always nice, mostly omnivorous.

Birds. I love birds. They are little miracles, our tiny dinosaurs. There are birds who can remember, literally, 10,000 locations for stored food. There are birds that weigh nothing, but glimmer and hover and can shoot off like a comet. There are birds that are a comedy show trying to take of or land, but are deadly snakes underwater. There are birds blacker than any other black on earth because their potential mates can see UV and their feathers absorb that too. And there are birds like the scarlet macaw, where if you see a flock of thirty-some, you know it will always be an even number, because the pairs always stay together and no one knows what happens to the birds who lose a mate. Not that birds are some morally perfect animals. Ducks, in particular, have a generally outrageous level of sexual competition, leading to at least one species where the male has a penis longer than his overall body and a very substantial amount of duck-rape.

Hmm, interesting. I do not experience synesthesia. Impact play, for me, certainly has a layered sensory effect, which is why different implements have such different effects. There's the pain itself, and there's the feeling of impact and those don't always align, depending on the level of force and the tool. But I guess, for me personally, it's the D/S aspect that's more important.

I don't like the way chitin gets stuck in my teeth.

My relationship with cupcakes is unchanged. I haven't had that kind of awful supermarket frosting since going to birthday parties when I was a kid, but my hatred for it abides. Plus I don't really think of it as humiliation it's just, well I want to say "good clean fun," but that would be somewhat inaccurate.

Oooh, thank you, I really enjoyed that.

This thread reminded me of how much fun I'd had playing with food along with M. Dalisay at our previous session, so yesterday I made sure to bring a bag of groceries. It was absolutely fucking disgusting! I had a great time, so thank you Mistress. We learned a bunch of things, but one important one is that if one intends to use pudding as an artistic medium, it's best to check viscosity in advance.

Hmm. The Pendulum, The Tempest (top) /The Canvas (bottom). Rope Bunny 75%. Sadist came in a touch higher, which I totally do not believe. I'm a mini-sadist.

I did one two-hour food-centered session that was hilarious. Many, many things happened, but one bit stands out in memory. I had brought hideous supermarket frosted cupcakes. I was ordered to jerk off using the frosting as lube and then eat the frosting, while in the steel room cage. Being forced to eat that frosting was one of the meanest things a mistress has ever done to me.

To me, that's a purely semantic distinction, so that's entirely fine. I'm a switch, but I could never, ever, live in a D/S relationship, on either side. Not a criticism of those who want to. If that's how one would like to understand the meaning of submission, in the context of total submission, then I understand it. It's just not for me.

Then, perhaps in the context of a session, "punishment" isn't really the right word. My experience is similar to Karl's. I am submitting for my two (or more) hours, but it is contained. While I'm in that room I will do whatever I'm told, short of courting permanent damage, and I will take whatever I can. I'm a very obedient sub. But, for me, that world starts and ends with the little beeps on the door key pad.

Surely a big part of play is letting out parts of yourself that might be dangerous, might be unpleasant, might be unlikable, might be socially unacceptable, but in a safe, contained environment? Knowing where the monsters are is a kind of power.

Mmm, I don't think I make that distinction. In a session, for me, it's all play, so I don't really feel it's either deserved or undeserved. It's all play. Creative presentation as either deserved or undeserved can be a lot fun though.

Yeah, I would at least try out the feasibility of obeying both, and then ask permission to break one so as to follow the other. Though in every session I've ever had, Mistresses have been kind of gentle on failure to follow unreasonable commands. Which actually gives me an idea for a session request that would involve unreasonable requests and not being gentle.

I'm not sure I've ever been really involved in mind games. Naturally, in the course of everyday life, people have, once in a while, tried to fuck with my head. I was certainly not immune when I was, say, 21. But in the real-life context, I hate mind games and stay away from people who play them. And when I'm engaged in play well that's play; it's all games. I'm aware this isn't really an answer.

Ha! Sissy play isn't my thing, but this thread kinda makes me want to join in just for chuckles.

I do love getting bitten. And biting. I'm generally a no-marks person, but I try to make exceptions for bite marks. I've been described as "badger-like" but there's a reason my profile pic is a capybara. Capybaras are incredibly chill animals and the videos you see on line of them interacting with other species are not fake. They'll just hang out with caimans on riverbanks. But it's interesting to watch them when another animal tries to fuck with them. The capybara just stays totally calm, "whatever, dude" and does whatever the fuck it wants until the other animal gets bored or frustrated and either goes away or chooses to ignore the capybara.

Never hit one yet. But my list of limits is very brief. I guess the closest to this was golden, which I thought I wouldn't like, but I requested to see if I'd like it. My expectations were incorrect. I've also had lots of things I didn't ask for, but it turns out I've liked them all.