psychologcal domination

[joey]

i love psycholigical domination. i think it's more powerful than being dominated physically. i've had a domme or two play various emotional games with me: like being very quiet during session and you keep wondering what they are thinking. like acting pissed during session and you keep asking what you did wrong. like when you arrive for session and your domme is in her street clothes just leaving and informs you that you must reschedule your session. did i do something wrong?

 

and the one that really gets to me: "when the session is done i need to talk to you." during the whole session i'm wondering: am i in trouble? am i going ro be dismissed?

 

so lovely Ladies of the Fortres do you enjoy psychological domination? what kind of games do you like to play with the minds of your boys?

[Mistress Zhao]

hi baby kangaroo,

 

The mind is indisputably the most powerful sexual organ. It's also our most acute sensor of fear. I agree with you that psychological domination can being about the most torturous thoughts, but also the most pleasurable and intoxicating sensations.

When I was young, my mother would punish me by not speaking to me for days on end. A new day would roll around and she still would not speak to me. When she finally forgave me, it was such a rush of relief to hear her voice.

 

One of my very favorite ways to play with someone's mind is to be completely silent and unyielding with a sub, especially one with whom I've established a repertoire with, just to keep him guessing. This way, I can get him to do more things he probably wouldn't normally do, just because he's dying to please me, thinking that I am displeased. Sometimes I have him wear a hood, too, so that he can't see my face or predict what's coming next.

 

I also enjoy the visual aspect of making someone believe I will be using certain tools and/or instruments which I've laid out on the table for them. Some are so foreign and arcane that they have no idea what it's even for, but fearful of the pain it will bring.

 

Good times!

[akiravn1]

hi baby kangaroo,

 

The mind is indisputably the most powerful sexual organ. It's also our most acute sensor of fear. I agree with you that psychological domination can being about the most torturous thoughts, but also the most pleasurable and intoxicating sensations.

When I was young, my mother would punish me by not speaking to me for days on end. A new day would roll around and she still would not speak to me. When she finally forgave me, it was such a rush of relief to hear her voice.

 

One of my very favorite ways to play with someone's mind is to be completely silent and unyielding with a sub, especially one with whom I've established a repertoire with, just to keep him guessing. This way, I can get him to do more things he probably wouldn't normally do, just because he's dying to please me, thinking that I am displeased. Sometimes I have him wear a hood, too, so that he can't see my face or predict what's coming next.

 

I also enjoy the visual aspect of making someone believe I will be using certain tools and/or instruments which I've laid out on the table for them. Some are so foreign and arcane that they have no idea what it's even for, but fearful of the pain it will bring.

 

Good times!

 

Having certain tools and/or instruments laid out on the table would sure put a scare into me, by creating a whole lot of uncertainty in my mind.

[joey]

hi baby kangaroo,

 

The mind is indisputably the most powerful sexual organ. It's also our most acute sensor of fear. I agree with you that psychological domination can being about the most torturous thoughts, but also the most pleasurable and intoxicating sensations.

When I was young, my mother would punish me by not speaking to me for days on end. A new day would roll around and she still would not speak to me. When she finally forgave me, it was such a rush of relief to hear her voice.

 

One of my very favorite ways to play with someone's mind is to be completely silent and unyielding with a sub, especially one with whom I've established a repertoire with, just to keep him guessing. This way, I can get him to do more things he probably wouldn't normally do, just because he's dying to please me, thinking that I am displeased. Sometimes I have him wear a hood, too, so that he can't see my face or predict what's coming next.

 

I also enjoy the visual aspect of making someone believe I will be using certain tools and/or instruments which I've laid out on the table for them. Some are so foreign and arcane that they have no idea what it's even for, but fearful of the pain it will bring.

 

Good times!

 

Thank you, Superior Mz! as usual you are keenly insightful! thanks so much for sharing!

[siggy]

hi baby kangaroo,

 

The mind is indisputably the most powerful sexual organ. It's also our most acute sensor of fear. I agree with you that psychological domination can being about the most torturous thoughts, but also the most pleasurable and intoxicating sensations.

When I was young, my mother would punish me by not speaking to me for days on end. A new day would roll around and she still would not speak to me. When she finally forgave me, it was such a rush of relief to hear her voice.

 

One of my very favorite ways to play with someone's mind is to be completely silent and unyielding with a sub, especially one with whom I've established a repertoire with, just to keep him guessing. This way, I can get him to do more things he probably wouldn't normally do, just because he's dying to please me, thinking that I am displeased. Sometimes I have him wear a hood, too, so that he can't see my face or predict what's coming next.

 

I also enjoy the visual aspect of making someone believe I will be using certain tools and/or instruments which I've laid out on the table for them. Some are so foreign and arcane that they have no idea what it's even for, but fearful of the pain it will bring.

 

Good times!

 

I'm curious about what is meant exactly by 'psychological domination'. Can you explain it in some more detail? Is it not physical at all, just mental?

 

I am curious because, I really believe I love psychological domination, but what it is - I can't put it into words. How would you put it into words?

 

thanks

 

siggy

[Mistress Lin]

When I was young, my mother would punish me by not speaking to me for days on end. A new day would roll around and she still would not speak to me. When she finally forgave me, it was such a rush of relief to hear her voice.

 

 

 

I wonder if this is an Asian thing. This was my mother and grandmother's favorite form of torment for me. Going through day to day motions of taking care of me but without a single utterance of sound acknowledging me. But a part of me knows now how fun it can be to watch my sub squirm trying to please me and get a single peep of acknowledgment out of me.

 

Why do we as humans want more what seems to be cold and unyielding towards us? That urge to please that drives a sub to grovel an submit for the slightest hint of pleasing your Mistress. A wicked power indeed.

[joey]

I wonder if this is an Asian thing. This was my mother and grandmother's favorite form of torment for me. Going through day to day motions of taking care of me but without a single utterance of sound acknowledging me. But a part of me knows now how fun it can be to watch my sub squirm trying to please me and get a single peep of acknowledgment out of me.

 

Why do we as humans want more what seems to be cold and unyielding towards us? That urge to please that drives a sub to grovel an submit for the slightest hint of pleasing your Mistress. A wicked power indeed.

 

i don't know if it's an Asian thing or not Superior Ms Lin but i had a Thai girlfriend who used the same technique. if we had a disagreement she would act like i didn't exist. in order to get back on her good side i would have to apologize and do an act of submission. my solution? i always let her have her way!

[akiravn1]

I wonder if this is an Asian thing. This was my mother and grandmother's favorite form of torment for me. Going through day to day motions of taking care of me but without a single utterance of sound acknowledging me. But a part of me knows now how fun it can be to watch my sub squirm trying to please me and get a single peep of acknowledgment out of me.

 

Why do we as humans want more what seems to be cold and unyielding towards us? That urge to please that drives a sub to grovel an submit for the slightest hint of pleasing your Mistress. A wicked power indeed.

 

Mistress Lin,

 

I just feel so far below a Mistress of Your stature, that to witness You being cold and unyielding just reinforces what I am feeling. Even though I know that I am hardly worthy enough to be in Your presence, the thought that there is just something, anything no matter what kind of groveling would be needed for just a hint of pleasing my Mistress is a constant existing urge within me. The more cold & unyielding You act toward me, the stronger the urge to please becomes.

[Mistress Zhao]

I'm curious about what is meant exactly by 'psychological domination'. Can you explain it in some more detail? Is it not physical at all, just mental?

 

I am curious because, I really believe I love psychological domination, but what it is - I can't put it into words. How would you put it into words?

 

thanks

 

siggy

 

siggy,

 

Psychological domination explores the mental realms of your desires. Fear, anxiety, emotional manipulation, unrequited desire, repetition, etc. Instead of simply tying someone up and beating them, you engage the client in a more cat-and-moust type of chase, where there are aspects of the situation that are unspoken and hopefully misconstrued.

These are not purely mental, but start in the physical, and affect the mental.

For example, one of our clients is very intelligent and inventive, thus cerebral. He likes to be outsmarted and overpowered, but not necessarily with brute force. Games are a great way to engage and captivate in a more mental way.

Trickery is key in psychological domination as well.

[siggy]

siggy,

 

Psychological domination explores the mental realms of your desires. Fear, anxiety, emotional manipulation, unrequited desire, repetition, etc. Instead of simply tying someone up and beating them, you engage the client in a more cat-and-moust type of chase, where there are aspects of the situation that are unspoken and hopefully misconstrued.

These are not purely mental, but start in the physical, and affect the mental.

For example, one of our clients is very intelligent and inventive, thus cerebral. He likes to be outsmarted and overpowered, but not necessarily with brute force. Games are a great way to engage and captivate in a more mental way.

Trickery is key in psychological domination as well.

 

 

Wow MZhao,

 

what you say makes a lot of sense. I hadn't really been able to figure it out before. I am very fascinated by your response. Can you say if all dommes are able to do well with psychological domination? What makes one more skilled in this area?

 

And perhaps the most titillating question I'd love to hear your response to > What are your personally favorite ways to psychologically dominate your captives?

 

thanks

 

siggy

[Mistress Zhao]

Wow MZhao,

 

what you say makes a lot of sense. I hadn't really been able to figure it out before. I am very fascinated by your response. Can you say if all dommes are able to do well with psychological domination? What makes one more skilled in this area?

 

And perhaps the most titillating question I'd love to hear your response to > What are your personally favorite ways to psychologically dominate your captives?

 

thanks

 

siggy

 

siggy,

 

In most cases, psychological domination is simply an inherent element in what we do. I would say that most dommes are aware of the element of psychology in their play, but I'm sure there are some who do not focus on it as much as others. What makes one more skilled in this area are experience and education. This profession is filled with intricacies and depth, and those who cannot substantiate their play with a mental aspect may not find it fulfilling.

 

I see my role in this profession as a therapist of sorts. The twisting of what I believe is "good for you" is one of my favorites. Also, the silent treatment is another favorite

[skeech2]

siggy,

 

In most cases, psychological domination is simply an inherent element in what we do. I would say that most dommes are aware of the element of psychology in their play, but I'm sure there are some who do not focus on it as much as others. What makes one more skilled in this area are experience and education. This profession is filled with intricacies and depth, and those who cannot substantiate their play with a mental aspect may not find it fulfilling.

 

I see my role in this profession as a therapist of sorts. The twisting of what I believe is "good for you" is one of my favorites. Also, the silent treatment is another favorite

 

Mistress Zhao,

 

You are more than just a therapist. A therapist analyzes and prescribes a treatment if needed. You analyze, prescribe and deliver treatment both physically and mentally.

[akiravn1]

 

I see my role in this profession as a therapist of sorts. The twisting of what I believe is "good for you" is one of my favorites. Also, the silent treatment is another favorite

 

I really like You in a therapist role, as I believe in speaking with someone You have an intelligence and charm to possibly get someone to admit to things he or she might not normally talk about openly and then use or twist this information for "ones own good" sort of speak. Lovin' You at Your psychological best, because I think You have the insight to always know what's best for the patient, whether they know it or not!

[skeech2]

siggy,

 

In most cases, psychological domination is simply an inherent element in what we do. I would say that most dommes are aware of the element of psychology in their play, but I'm sure there are some who do not focus on it as much as others. What makes one more skilled in this area are experience and education. This profession is filled with intricacies and depth, and those who cannot substantiate their play with a mental aspect may not find it fulfilling.

 

I see my role in this profession as a therapist of sorts. The twisting of what I believe is "good for you" is one of my favorites. Also, the silent treatment is another favorite

 

Mistress Zhao, I can't seem to stay off of this topic and really enjoy hearing all of the perspective. The one question that keeps coming to my mind is a heavy one and it deals with addiction. It is very possible that one could become addicted to You or at least to their idea of you. Most therapists would recommend a 12 step program to deal with the addiction. Some would recommend rehab.

 

Have You ever had an experience where Your advice was to discontinue the dom-sub relationship?

[EdgarAH]

 

 

Have You ever had an experience where Your advice was to discontinue the dom-sub relationship?

 

Wow! Interesting question Skeech. I could definitely see it being a possibility and wonder what mZ's response will be.

[Mistress Zhao]

Mistress Zhao, I can't seem to stay off of this topic and really enjoy hearing all of the perspective. The one question that keeps coming to my mind is a heavy one and it deals with addiction. It is very possible that one could become addicted to You or at least to their idea of you. Most therapists would recommend a 12 step program to deal with the addiction. Some would recommend rehab.

 

Have You ever had an experience where Your advice was to discontinue the dom-sub relationship?

 

Thanks for asking, skeech.

 

First of all, I have to say that addiction comes in several forms. In many cases, being addicted to someone is usually an escapist tactic for not wanting to deal with other more pressing issues at hand in one's life. For example, a failing marriage.

 

I have never directly coached a sub client in ways of personal affairs involving others. All I can really do is hold up a mirror for one to perhaps see who they are in the current situation. And this, of course, is after building a rapport with regularity and concern for a sub, thus the addiction. Luckily, most of my clients are intelligent enough to see where their life is faltering and take corrective action toward their shortcomings.

 

Additionally, I am in no position to refuse service to anybody based on my professional position here at the Fortress.

It's all a matter of manipulating a session to create the feeling of triumph or defeat for the client. The subtleties are what determine the outcome.

[skeech2]

Thanks for asking, skeech.

 

First of all, I have to say that addiction comes in several forms. In many cases, being addicted to someone is usually an escapist tactic for not wanting to deal with other more pressing issues at hand in one's life. For example, a failing marriage.

 

I have never directly coached a sub client in ways of personal affairs involving others. All I can really do is hold up a mirror for one to perhaps see who they are in the current situation. And this, of course, is after building a rapport with regularity and concern for a sub, thus the addiction. Luckily, most of my clients are intelligent enough to see where their life is faltering and take corrective action toward their shortcomings.

 

Additionally, I am in no position to refuse service to anybody based on my professional position here at the Fortress.

It's all a matter of manipulating a session to create the feeling of triumph or defeat for the client. The subtleties are what determine the outcome.

 

Thank You for Your candid response. The assumed anonymity of the sub makes this a bit more tricky than other supposed addictions. One mirror versus many. I would also add that addiction and intelligence are not necessarily related.

[joey]

Thanks for asking, skeech.

 

First of all, I have to say that addiction comes in several forms. In many cases, being addicted to someone is usually an escapist tactic for not wanting to deal with other more pressing issues at hand in one's life. For example, a failing marriage.

 

I have never directly coached a sub client in ways of personal affairs involving others. All I can really do is hold up a mirror for one to perhaps see who they are in the current situation. And this, of course, is after building a rapport with regularity and concern for a sub, thus the addiction. Luckily, most of my clients are intelligent enough to see where their life is faltering and take corrective action toward their shortcomings.

 

Additionally, I am in no position to refuse service to anybody based on my professional position here at the Fortress.

It's all a matter of manipulating a session to create the feeling of triumph or defeat for the client. The subtleties are what determine the outcome.

 

sigmund freud ain't got nothing on you, MZ! wow!

[TrackWarrior]

"I would also add that addiction and intelligence are not necessarily related."

 

Skeech, I agree totally with this statement. Ms. Zhao makes some great points too. Being the son of Irish Immigrants I come from some very compulsive people. I was in the saloon business for a lot of years before going into education and I've seen too many Friends family members and customers fight addictions their entire lives. They seem to get the cover on one monster and it pops up in another form. I don't think its lack of intelligence but more of a lack of self-esteem. These people take the path of least resistance to get out of their own heads. How human is that?! It can't be a nice feeling to feel "less than" or "inferior" Why am I a sub then? Do I yearn to be "Less than or inferior"

 

I think that's perhaps why I like the FF so much and I am a bit more than intrigued with the submissive frame of mind. I am obviously escaping for a period of time but Am I doing so by giving up control or by being controlled? My brain is starting to hurt

 

TW

[TrackWarrior]

hi baby kangaroo,

 

The mind is indisputably the most powerful sexual organ. It's also our most acute sensor of fear. I agree with you that psychological domination can being about the most torturous thoughts, but also the most pleasurable and intoxicating sensations.

When I was young, my mother would punish me by not speaking to me for days on end. A new day would roll around and she still would not speak to me. When she finally forgave me, it was such a rush of relief to hear her voice.

 

One of my very favorite ways to play with someone's mind is to be completely silent and unyielding with a sub, especially one with whom I've established a repertoire with, just to keep him guessing. This way, I can get him to do more things he probably wouldn't normally do, just because he's dying to please me, thinking that I am displeased. Sometimes I have him wear a hood, too, so that he can't see my face or predict what's coming next.

 

I also enjoy the visual aspect of making someone believe I will be using certain tools and/or instruments which I've laid out on the table for them. Some are so foreign and arcane that they have no idea what it's even for, but fearful of the pain it will bring.

 

Good times!

 

 

Whoa!!! You have my FULL attention Ms. Zhao. Its funny as a coach I do the same thing. I was at a track meet where my best hurdler had his worst performance. I found him sulking in a corner and asked him what his problem was. He said that he was upset that he disappointed me. I told him "I haven't said anything yet." He replied, "Coach, you can shred me with a look from 200 yards away" This kid is in his 4th year of college competing in division 1 and still calls me, emails me and shows up at my practices still looking for my approval. Pretty powerful stuff!!!

 

TW

[morozek]

Additionally, I am in no position to refuse service to anybody based on my professional position here at the Fortress.

It's all a matter of manipulating a session to create the feeling of triumph or defeat for the client. The subtleties are what determine the outcome.

 

I'm hesitant to resurrect an old thread, but Ms. Zhao's closing statement caught my imagination, and I was curious how you determine whether to create a feeling of triumph or defeat for the client?

 

In the case of certain unrequited desire or taboo type of scenarios, especially those that could involve feelings of shame or remorse, I would posit that triumph on the physical level could bring about feelings of defeat on the psychological level, and vice versa.

 

Depending on the client's desired outcome, it seems to me that the resulting emotional conflict could make it be a doubly powerful experience.

 

Thoughts?

 

Moz

 

P.S. this type of psychological BDSM really revs my engine!

[Mistress Zhao]

Hi Moz,

 

To answer your first question, yes. When I create an experience for a client, I have both triumph and defeat in mind. With my triumph of will, I defeat theirs, and this in turn, allows them to feel triumphant as well. Something sensually unexpected that opens their mind, perhaps building a new synapse in their brain. Conflict helps us grow.

 

I do hope that after a client has left the session, they think about it from time to time.

 

Are you familiar with the symbol of the ouroboros? As C.G. Jung puts it, it represents the paradox of duality moving into wholeness through cycles. Duality being the defeat/triumph dichotomy. Without one, you cannot have the other. When you accept both, you are complete. Growth.

 

So essentially..the conundrum you gave of truly taboo scenarios is a rare treat. What's considered taboo is also somewhat subjective. Not all clients have a desired outcome, other than to enjoy the ride.

 

Why did you choose the example of the emotion shame?

[morozek]

Hi Moz,

 

To answer your first question, yes. When I create an experience for a client, I have both triumph and defeat in mind. With my triumph of will, I defeat theirs, and this in turn, allows them to feel triumphant as well. Something sensually unexpected that opens their mind, perhaps building a new synapse in their brain. Conflict helps us grow.

 

I do hope that after a client has left the session, they think about it from time to time.

 

Are you familiar with the symbol of the ouroboros? As C.G. Jung puts it, it represents the paradox of duality moving into wholeness through cycles. Duality being the defeat/triumph dichotomy. Without one, you cannot have the other. When you accept both, you are complete. Growth.

 

So essentially..the conundrum you gave of truly taboo scenarios is a rare treat. What's considered taboo is also somewhat subjective. Not all clients have a desired outcome, other than to enjoy the ride.

 

Why did you choose the example of the emotion shame?

 

mZhao-

 

The concept of ouroboros is familiar to me, although I don't recall having heard it been called that. I completely agree that conflict can help us grow. Jung's duality paradox leading to wholeness is logical, but I think that as an optimist (if you can call Jung that!) he doesn't spend a great deal of time examining how in some individuals the converse can occur. Take for example, a heroin addict. The triumph of the high versus the defeat of addiction/legal consequences/etc. can lead to emptiness. The book 'Lolita' also explored the outcome of emptiness and despair.

 

Why did I choose shame? Given my example of taboo scenarios, shame is one of the logical defeat alternatives to the triumph of conquest. For an espionage scenario, the triumph of infiltration might be counterbalanced by paranoia/capture/interrogation.

 

I'll posit that THAT one piques your interest as well, hmm?

 

Moz

[Mistress Zhao]

mZhao-

 

The concept of ouroboros is familiar to me, although I don't recall having heard it been called that. I completely agree that conflict can help us grow. Jung's duality paradox leading to wholeness is logical, but I think that as an optimist (if you can call Jung that!) he doesn't spend a great deal of time examining how in some individuals the converse can occur. Take for example, a heroin addict. The triumph of the high versus the defeat of addiction/legal consequences/etc. can lead to emptiness. The book 'Lolita' also explored the outcome of emptiness and despair.

 

Why did I choose shame? Given my example of taboo scenarios, shame is one of the logical defeat alternatives to the triumph of conquest. For an espionage scenario, the triumph of infiltration might be counterbalanced by paranoia/capture/interrogation.

 

I'll posit that THAT one piques your interest as well, hmm?

 

Moz

 

I take it you're equating the feeling of emptiness and desperation with defeat. As in the grander scheme of life, one who becomes addicted to the high of chemical release during a rather painful, scathing session but feels the emptiness of mundane life without out it, thus needing more? Are you still asking me to explain how I determine to create a feeling of triumph or defeat?

 

Overall, I aim for a complete experience for the client. But the aftermath is entirely up to the client.

 

For example..I know a top who likes to re-enact the exact same taboo scenario over and over. His triumph over his sub seemingly causes a bit of shame afterward, unless the sub truly enjoys the scenario (which most don't). But he always comes back for more, unable to shake this need for a shameful triumph. I think that within his "addiction" to overpower his sub, he is struggling with a twisted morality that can be very difficult to admit (defeat). But by acting out his extremely taboo scenario with an experienced sub, he is channeling this dark energy into a safe avenue of expression (triumph).

 

And to be perfectly Zen about the two examples of addiction you've given, a Winston Churchill quote: "If you're going through hell, keep going."

[akiravn1]

 

Are you familiar with the symbol of the ouroboros? As C.G. Jung puts it, it represents the paradox of duality moving into wholeness through cycles. Duality being the defeat/triumph dichotomy. Without one, you cannot have the other. When you accept both, you are complete. Growth.

 

So essentially..the conundrum you gave of truly taboo scenarios is a rare treat. What's considered taboo is also somewhat subjective. Not all clients have a desired outcome, other than to enjoy the ride.

 

 

This subject as well as scenarios that may be considered taboo does open up avenues of interest to me.

 

Have you seen the 2011 movie A Dangerous Method? Viggo Mortensen and Michael Fassbender play Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung respectively.