psychologcal domination

[Outcast]

 

 

You don't consider dirtbag a term of endearment?

Mistress Jung, dirtbag kind of implies that I wear dirty clothes and don't bathe. I shower at least once a week if I need it or not!! But please call me dirtbag if you feel it fits and makes you happy its all part of the " psychological domination".

[Mistress Zhao]

I'm trying to get my head around this second statement. If I am understanding you correctly, BDSM foreplay as a means to an end is kinky by nature, but BDSM 'foreplay' in a session (that is more geared toward psychological domination) is not so much a means to the end, but rather the means by which the status quo of the session (top/sub relationship) is maintained?

 

Moz

 

 

Pro-dommes and subs have a symbiotic relationship by nature. What's a Pro-domme without a sub?

Although this is also a lifestyle, our profession dictates that we have certain parameters to work within. Maintaining the relationship without sex makes use of our other wiles. Some use emotional domination, which ultimately is still psychological, but the point is to go deeper than just a little kinky foreplay.

[morozek]

Pro-dommes and subs have a symbiotic relationship by nature. What's a Pro-domme without a sub?

Although this is also a lifestyle, our profession dictates that we have certain parameters to work within. Maintaining the relationship without sex makes use of our other wiles. Some use emotional domination, which ultimately is still psychological, but the point is to go deeper than just a little kinky foreplay.

 

I love the way you think!

 

I'm wishing I could get up to NYC more often for a one-on-one tutorial. (Unless I could convince you to cameo at my upcoming session!)

 

Moz

[wild willie]

She cant tell you that moro lol it would spoil the fun

[morozek]

She cant tell you that moro lol it would spoil the fun

 

LOL, thx WW. I've told the girls that the entire session is up to them; I'm just along for the ride.

[Mistress Mina Jung]

Mistress Jung, dirtbag kind of implies that I wear dirty clothes and don't bathe. I shower at least once a week if I need it or not!! But please call me dirtbag if you feel it fits and makes you happy its all part of the " psychological domination".

 

What if I said you were my *favorite* dirtbag? I bet that little modifier makes all the difference LOL

[wild willie]

LOL, thx WW. I've told the girls that the entire session is up to them; I'm just along for the ride.

Exactly...........we honestly gave our dreams but knowing for sure would be a waste of a trip

[Outcast]

 

 

What if I said you were my *favorite* dirtbag? I bet that little modifier makes all the difference LOL

Being your favorite anything excites me. By the way, I feel like we are two kids fooling around in class. The rest of this thread is kind of serious deep discussion on the psychology of bdsm and were talking about dirtbags lol.

[skeech2]

Pro-dommes and subs have a symbiotic relationship by nature. What's a Pro-domme without a sub?

Although this is also a lifestyle, our profession dictates that we have certain parameters to work within. Maintaining the relationship without sex makes use of our other wiles. Some use emotional domination, which ultimately is still psychological, but the point is to go deeper than just a little kinky foreplay.

 

I am curious about something Mistress Zhao. In BDSM relationships that you have successfully guided to another level, how often do live sessions take place on average? I really believe that to achieve another level, you have to establish a comfort zone or trust. That may take time repetition and reinforcement.

[joey]

_{upcoming is my new book : PSYCHOLOGICAL DOMINATION. FORWARD BY MS JESSY KANG.}

[Mistress Zhao]

I am curious about something Mistress Zhao. In BDSM relationships that you have successfully guided to another level, how often do live sessions take place on average? I really believe that to achieve another level, you have to establish a comfort zone or trust. That may take time repetition and reinforcement.

 

Naturally.

The play isn't so much confined to sessions when it transcends the professional realm.

Many times it's just whenever I feel like it.

And usually the sub/player is someone I already know from daily life.

[Milkdud]

You are always so full of compliments, LW. I truly appreciate someone who can understand my well-meaning therapies on all levels

@Mistress Zhao,

Awe...its so easy to do you know:) I'm just one humble member of the ZhaoNation.

LW

[skeech2]

Naturally.

The play isn't so much confined to sessions when it transcends the professional realm.

Many times it's just whenever I feel like it.

And usually the sub/player is someone I already know from daily life.

 

So for the professional version, it is considered therapy? What about the personal version? Also therapy? Intimacy? It would seem that you would open up much more in a personal relationship than a professional one. I think the secret lies beyond the confines of the professional BDSM relationship.

 

Sorry to keep pressing this topic but I find it fascinating and fairly unexplored. I very much appreciate you candid responses.

[Mistress Zhao]

So for the professional version, it is considered therapy? What about the personal version? Also therapy? Intimacy? It would seem that you would open up much more in a personal relationship than a professional one. I think the secret lies beyond the confines of the professional BDSM relationship. Sorry to keep pressing this topic but I find it fascinating and fairly unexplored. I very much appreciate you candid responses.

 

With professionalism as the predominant social and ethical structure, therapy is just one of the many possibilities, but definitely my favorite one. The idea of helping someone in some way grow beyond themselves is one of the reasons I absolutely love what I do.

And with therapy comes release and relief, whether it be that floaty subspace feeling, or a deeper, more cathartic impact.

sk2, you are right about the personal relationships being more intimate and open, but mainly because there are perhaps deeper emotions involved.

 

And what is "the secret" you speak of, which lies beyond the confines of the BDSM relationship?

[Dashan]

I agree with M Zhao.

 

I've been in BDSM outside the FF as a master, and of course, as a sub at the FF.

 

I think in some ways the sessions at the FF, BECAUSE of the professional relationship, can be just as cathartic and meaningul. Maybe more so, with the right Mistress. There is NO emotional baggage with the capable mistresses at the FF. There is a strong emotional bond, I'm not saying there isn't, but as a sub, I can truly "release" and "surrender" as Zhao mentions.

 

In fact, I almost wonder if the sessions are less effective as I get to know my Mistresses more personally over time. Will they ease up on me?

 

Let me assure you, so far that has not happened.

 

I'm sure I'm not the only one that goes to the FF and leaves feeling "powerful" and "limitless"

[skeech2]

With professionalism as the predominant social and ethical structure, therapy is just one of the many possibilities, but definitely my favorite one. The idea of helping someone in some way grow beyond themselves is one of the reasons I absolutely love what I do.

And with therapy comes release and relief, whether it be that floaty subspace feeling, or a deeper, more cathartic impact.

sk2, you are right about the personal relationships being more intimate and open, but mainly because there are perhaps deeper emotions involved.

 

And what is "the secret" you speak of, which lies beyond the confines of the BDSM relationship?

 

Mistress Zhao, I think you mentioned the secret that lies beyond the confines of the "professional" BDSM relationsip, deeper emotions from both sides.

[Phred]

I've been thinking more about this thread recently, wanted to add a few more comments. One of the things I think that makes the FF so special is that it feels so SAFE within the four walls of the room during a session. What I mean by that, and how it relates to psychological domination, is that I feel that I can face things, talk about things, discuss things that I would not normally talk about on a regular basis (with anyone), mostly about relationships and everything that goes along with them. I find the Mistresses at the FF so strong and empowered that I start talking about some of my relationship missteps or misadventures, ineptitudes, inabilites in the past (things that I would never share with anyone, even my fellas). There's usually a point during a session when I just want to throw myself at the Mistresses' feet and relive and explore some of my past humiliations, degradations; I've done this a bit with some of the Mistresses through some of my stories from my past. I remember one Mistress laughed right at me after I told her about my "first time" - just feeling that laughter wash over me and be embarassed and humiliated about it was totally worth it. Coupled with the physical, bodily pain that the Mistress is inflicting upon me is just amazing and overwhelming.

 

This, to me, is part of psychological domination. Why would I want to do this? I think it's for the same reason we watch movies that make us cry, or movies that scare the crap out of us - it's cathartic, a release. I guarantee that I would not have been able to do this when I was younger - getting laughed at for past transgressions would probably have sunk my ship or it would have gotten my back up. Now, though, maybe because I'm older, I can talk about and revisit these things from my past without emotional consequences. Like I said above, the 4 walls of the FF feel very safe - I can revisit things from my past, maybe get laughed at or taunted by the Mistress who has me totally under her control and is breathtakingly beautiful, then leave the FF with a renewed sense of well being, catharthis, and confidence.

 

Already looking forward to my next session...

[skeech2]

If it looks like therapy, smells like therapy and tastes like therapy....it is therapy.

[Phred]

If it looks like therapy, smells like therapy and tastes like therapy....it is therapy.

Seems to work for me .

 

 

[skeech2]

Seems to work for me .

 

I believe in it too. Can't fully explain it but believe in it. Just wish I could pencil it in to the schedule on a more regular basis. I need to be adjusted more than just a few times a year.

[Mistress Zhao]

Mistress Zhao, I think you mentioned the secret that lies beyond the confines of the "professional" BDSM relationsip, deeper emotions from both sides.

 

I think the "secret" depends on what you're looking for.

There are people who come to us just to get their fetish fix of feet or leather or whatever.

Then there are those who are looking for some type of a relationship, albeit within professional parameters, so that they can somehow grow.

Undeniably, sex is an act that bonds people together, which is why I allude to deeper emotions. I've known many people who deepen their already sexual relationships with BDSM.

To manipulate those deeper emotions without sex is tantamount to psychological domination.

 

As Phred mentioned, the feeling of safety is another major factor in the release and relief of submitting. We as dommes work with your willingness to be putty in our hands.

Even in daily life, when I mention to a stranger what I do for a living, the stranger usually opens up about any and all secrets he/she has been holding in for years, especially sexual ones.

Our mere presence inspires catharsis

[akiravn1]

I think the "secret" depends on what you're looking for.

There are people who come to us just to get their fetish fix of feet or leather or whatever.

Then there are those who are looking for some type of a relationship, albeit within professional parameters, so that they can somehow grow.

Undeniably, sex is an act that bonds people together, which is why I allude to deeper emotions. I've known many people who deepen their already sexual relationships with BDSM.

To manipulate those deeper emotions without sex is tantamount to psychological domination.

 

As Phred mentioned, the feeling of safety is another major factor in the release and relief of submitting. We as dommes work with your willingness to be putty in our hands.

Even in daily life, when I mention to a stranger what I do for a living, the stranger usually opens up about any and all secrets he/she has been holding in for years, especially sexual ones.

Our mere presence inspires catharsis

 

mZ,

 

I always find so much truth in Your words. The mere presence of a beautiful Asian Mistress does inspire me to open up about anything and everything as well as creating a willingness to become putty in Her more than capable hands.

[mongoose]

I think the "secret" depends on what you're looking for.

There are people who come to us just to get their fetish fix of feet or leather or whatever.

Then there are those who are looking for some type of a relationship, albeit within professional parameters, so that they can somehow grow.

Undeniably, sex is an act that bonds people together, which is why I allude to deeper emotions. I've known many people who deepen their already sexual relationships with BDSM.

To manipulate those deeper emotions without sex is tantamount to psychological domination.

 

As Phred mentioned, the feeling of safety is another major factor in the release and relief of submitting. We as dommes work with your willingness to be putty in our hands.

Even in daily life, when I mention to a stranger what I do for a living, the stranger usually opens up about any and all secrets he/she has been holding in for years, especially sexual ones.

Our mere presence inspires catharsis

 

So it's OK if I want to shackle my GFs ankles and spank her ass till it's nice and red.

[Mistress Zhao]

I agree with M Zhao.

 

I've been in BDSM outside the FF as a master, and of course, as a sub at the FF.

 

I think in some ways the sessions at the FF, BECAUSE of the professional relationship, can be just as cathartic and meaningul. Maybe more so, with the right Mistress. There is NO emotional baggage with the capable mistresses at the FF. There is a strong emotional bond, I'm not saying there isn't, but as a sub, I can truly "release" and "surrender" as Zhao mentions.

 

In fact, I almost wonder if the sessions are less effective as I get to know my Mistresses more personally over time. Will they ease up on me?

 

Let me assure you, so far that has not happened.

 

I'm sure I'm not the only one that goes to the FF and leaves feeling "powerful" and "limitless"

 

I like it when you agree with me.

[skeech2]

I think the "secret" depends on what you're looking for.

There are people who come to us just to get their fetish fix of feet or leather or whatever.

Then there are those who are looking for some type of a relationship, albeit within professional parameters, so that they can somehow grow.

Undeniably, sex is an act that bonds people together, which is why I allude to deeper emotions. I've known many people who deepen their already sexual relationships with BDSM.

To manipulate those deeper emotions without sex is tantamount to psychological domination.

 

As Phred mentioned, the feeling of safety is another major factor in the release and relief of submitting. We as dommes work with your willingness to be putty in our hands.

Even in daily life, when I mention to a stranger what I do for a living, the stranger usually opens up about any and all secrets he/she has been holding in for years, especially sexual ones.

Our mere presence inspires catharsis

 

Thanks for sharing your insights, Mistress Zhao. I can only imagine the perspective that you must have. If BDSM is a journey, then you are a lovely tour guide unless of course, you happen to be on a journey yourself.